tabitha83 Posted May 2, 2007 Posted May 2, 2007 I think I'm going crazy... Me ex broke up with me just before Christmas last year. It was after I'd been a total b***h towards him for a few weeks - I was argumentative, techy, paranoid...a total nightmare if I'm honest so him breaking up with me was totally justified. I took it badly, mainly because at first he said he still loved me but wanted 'a break', we were still being intimate at the time and have been ever since - the last time we slept together was about 2 weeks ago, but it was very empty sex that time...no feelings involved for him at all, I could tell that. I admit I was very full-on with my contact, I couldn't really 'do' the NC thing and because everytime I went to see him he was fine with me and I usually ended up staying over, I was thinking that he must still have feelings for me. It's gotten worse over the past couple of weeks though, and last week things came to a head when he said he doesn't have feelings for anyone, the last time he said he still loved me (almost a month ago) he "felt forced into it" and he also said I was grinding him down. It really got to me when he said that; all this time IO never considered that my contact was upsetting him or affecting him in a particularly bnegative way, becaue although sometimes we'd argue and he would say he wanted me out of his life, the next time I saw him he'd be talking to me like an old friend - and we were still having sex, joking around together etc. He didn't seem upset... I also don't understand how he could have felt forced into saying he still loved me, because the topic of 'us' hadn';t been brought up at all the entire week I'd been seeing him - he came out with it completely randomly and we were still having sex at that time, so he can't have said it just to get me into bed... I just feel so upset and have been in tears for an hour straight - the thought that I'm the ex he regrets ever meeting, and the possibility that i brought him that much pain just kills me. I want to keep in touch but he obviously doesn't want that...not sure what I'm looking for, just a bit of insight into what he was/is feeling, I suppose.
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