badger Posted May 2, 2007 Posted May 2, 2007 I've been going out with him for a year, I'm 20 he's 23, pretty average sort of an age gap. We get along really well, all the usual couple-type things; in jokes, talk every night, can have fun but also serious conversations. I like his family, they like me. No problems there... On the other hand my parents dislike him intensely and I hear about it every single time I talk to them, currently they are taking the sledge-hammer approach but before that it was the subtle jab and the silent disapproval. In some cases I can see where they're coming from, in others I think they're over exaggerating. - he's a musician and works in a restaurant while I'm at uni - he's vegetarian - I'm not - he was home schooled and is really close to his parents and the rest of his family, my family thinks that they are going to try and control us if we stay together Basically all I'm really worried about is the fact that he's a musician. He works hard at it and has talent, so he assumes that he is going to be successful. I'm more worried about it, it's fine while I'm at uni but eventually I am going to want to be with someone who has a bit of financial security. I can't help thinking that I could be finding a guy who I get along with just as well, who is eventually going to have a secure job etc. etc. So... that was my rant. You don't have to give me advice or anything, but I'd love to know thoughts/opinions... Thanks for reading!!
Enema Posted May 2, 2007 Posted May 2, 2007 I can see where you're coming from and I don't think there's anything wrong with not wanting to set yourself up for future financial difficulty. You really don't want to have yourself a full-grown dependent when you get older. I'm not even going to offer advice, this one is all about what you think is best.
Author badger Posted May 2, 2007 Author Posted May 2, 2007 Yeah, I kind of thought most people (or at least the one who replied -- thanks for that by the way) would say that. Damn getting older and having to make decisions for yourself... It would all be so much easier if we were fighting constantly, I never thought that you would have to think about breaking up with someone if there weren't major problems going on.
soulseeker Posted May 2, 2007 Posted May 2, 2007 My stance is this: I dont expect anyone to support me, nor am I willing to support anyone else. Suppose this was your stance and you made it perfectly clear to him. I want someone who is realistic and will pull their own weight, just like I do. I dont like to work, I want to do art. I dont have a benefactor, so I have to work, but it is not my priority, nor where I put most of my energy. 23 is a bit young for some people to have their life planned out. Do you want someone who has a passionate life and makes a decent living? Or someone who has no passion and just works? Have you talked to him about this? Bottomline is, you have to know what you want in your life and what is most important to you before you start cutting things out of it.
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