Jump to content

Is he worth losing a friend?


While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted

I have been spending a lot of time with a good friend's ex-husband. Actually dividing my weekends between them. I never knew them when they were married, (divorced only 18 months) but I live in a small community and everyone knows everyone.

When we first met, we got along instantly...it was great. But there were always lots of mutual friends around so no biggie. But lately we've been spending lots of time together, just me n him. Just friends of course. When we are together, it feels right. We are soulmates.

I made it clear when we met that it would be a huge mistake if we ever started dating. But now.....I might be starting to have feelings, especially being physically attracted to him and seeing us being emotionally intimate.

My friend would be devastated if we started dating. I'd lose her for sure. She doesn't even like the fact that I know him.

Would we be breaking some serious social/moral rules here?

Also, I'm kinda worried that we are attracted to eachother for the wrong reasons...for me i'm a sucker for an impossible relationship, and for him, I'm suspicious that he wants to hurt or "get back" at his ex (my friend).

So what do you guys think? Am I repeating the same mistakes or should I take the risk for love? Thanks in advance for any responses.

Posted

I think it's a bad idea. First off, the "connection" you guys feel for each other may just be hightened because the relationship is forbidden. That's why people who have affairs have such passionate connections, the fact that its "wrong" heightens the excitement. If you two actually get together, you may find that this will disapear. Also, i question whether his feelings are genuine. Like you said, getting back at his ex is probably very appealing, esp. if they had a bad break up. How do you know if you risk your friendship and get with him, that he won't just break up with you a month later? It could happen. Then you'll be left without him or your friend.

 

I don't think this is worth it. The risks def. outweigh the rewards.

Posted

exactly how good of friends are y'all? Like sisters? Best friends? Someone whose exit wouldn't be missed much? Because if you count her among your dearest of friends, it'd be a really stupid move to put the make on her ex-husband when he's most prolly going to be a fleeting relationship at most.

Posted
it'd be a really stupid move to put the make on her ex-husband when he's most prolly going to be a fleeting relationship at most.

 

I agree. As my friend and I always say: "Chicks before dicks." This breaks the girl code in no uncertain terms. I think that the blow-back from this relationship would not only destroy your friendship with his ex-wife - it would also ruin your reputation among those who know the players in this story - and...it would poison your relationship with the ex-husband. You'll never know how much of the relationship is based on revenge on his part and the illicitness on yours. A relationship with this guy would be short, ugly and drama filled with years of ramifications. Big NO.

Posted

There are literally billions of men out there.

 

You choose the 1 that could possibly wreak havoc in your life?

 

Come on now.

  • Author
Posted

you guys are absolutely right. On so many fronts. I know what the right move is, i just needed to hear it from somewhere other than my own head. I will do the right thing and cool off my "relationship" with my friend's ex. thanks a bunch.

×
×
  • Create New...