Jaded Girl Posted May 1, 2007 Posted May 1, 2007 I have been visiting this site for a long time, and finally deceided to post a thread. Soooo, here goes, I was involved in a relationship for 3 1/2 years, was totally happy, was totally in love, then one day my fiance told me that he needed some space, i thought nothing of this because its not the first time he needed space, but he began acting really shady, started turning off his cell phone at home, started to not answer my calls when he is out with "the guys", but i loved him and i trusted him, but i noticed that he really began to push me away................. so one day i deceided to check out his my space profile, and what did i see OMG, he was with a new girl, and they were in a whole lot of compromising positions, i got proof it was right in my face and i still refuse to believe, i even told him i was willing to forgive him and we can move on and get some councelling and work on mending our relationship (I KNOW, HOW PATHETIC AM I?) soo he started telling me, how we should only be friends, we were living together at that time, but he started sleeping out almost every night, what i didnt know, is that he already started a relationship and they were involved for months, while he was still with me, i felt soo crushed.......... my relationship ended over 15 months ago, and i still cant cope, i have been doing non contact, but heck, he proposed to her in less that 3 months and they are getting married any day now, i constantly doubt myself, as to why i was treated this way, and i tell myself that i must have been a really bad person in a past life to be getting this type of treatment, i never once lied to him, i never even looked at someone else, and i was constantly lied to and constantly cheated on............. Right now, i stop believing that time heals things, heck im not getting any better, i try my best everyday to look towards the future and not live in the past, but my past haunts me, as i close my eyes, as i open my eyes, even in my dreams, its just really sad that one person can mess up someones entire life...............for me its really hard because my ex was also my best friend, i trusted him with my life...............................
iknowyouknow Posted May 1, 2007 Posted May 1, 2007 you're not pathetic at all. I don't have much to say other than that my thoughts are with you and that look at the big picture, don't give yourself too tight time limits, all you can do is try your best. You've coped over a year with it, congratulate yourself that you've already gone through the worse thing you could imagine happening and you're still here. Things have a way of working out in the end and if he wants to behave like an utter **** let him ruin his own life, and be thankful he's not dragging you down with him. If he was willing to cheat on somebody he'd spent 3 and a half years with he'll do it to her aswell, and im sure you're better than that. chin up! this is a quote which makes me feel better about my break up when I get angry at myself for not moving on: [COLOR=#ff6600][FONT=Arial Narrow]Love the moment. Flowers grow out of dark moments. Therefore, each moment is vital. It affects the whole. Life is a succession of moments and to live each, is to succeed.[/FONT][/COLOR]
Icantletgo Posted May 1, 2007 Posted May 1, 2007 dont be sad. be happy that he is leaving you alone. seeing him will make you weaker. my ex of 3 years cheated on me and i had to find out myself. the whole time i thought we were working things out he has already moved on. be lucky that your ex doesnt' contact you or still feed you lies. my ex does (if you read my threads). you will see the big purpose of this pain/hurtful event soon. Keep your head up and youll see the future. good luck.
melodymatters Posted May 1, 2007 Posted May 1, 2007 Oh God, that is so hard, I really feel for you. It is very much like a death, and you have to go through the greiving process as if he did die. The only bright side is you can know and feel ( and be RIGHT) that he is a creep and she isn't winning any prize. Get some counseling, do whatever you can to get through this time, and know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. It might not seem like it now, but he is JUST ONE PERSON, and a person who treated you like crap, so hold on to that, be tough and one day you'll wake up and he won't matter anymore. You have all my condolences, good luck to you sister !
loveinlife Posted May 1, 2007 Posted May 1, 2007 Jaded, Its been 1.5 year for me and i still can't get over my ex. I understand what you are going through. Its the lifestyle change and the missing of someone who you have loved not being there. Im not sure when things do change, but it does get a little better from talking to friends and people on LS. the really big change comes from within, which i am still working on. Perhaps being alone will allow me to find out my weakness and learn to conquer it so it doesn't happen anymore. I say look for a friend, who is a guy magnet and knows the rules for being single, just like you. She will give you all the advices that you need to find another mate. Because i know being with someone for so long we lose that inner self and become detached to that single life. I have a few friends and family member who helped me change my life. Now, girls are just flocking my way and the more i meet, the more distant i feel away from my ex because i see that the world is full of interesting people. Until i meet someone new one, which hasn't happened yet, i try to have a broad social life to keep my mind entertained. =) I know you must of learned a lot during this break up, the pain and anger, and so much that i don't know what you are going through. Keep yourself busy and share us your feelings, so we can listen and give you feedbacks. But remember help comes from within, no one really can help you until that change comes from the inside. Have a nice day!
Author Jaded Girl Posted May 2, 2007 Author Posted May 2, 2007 Thank you all for your reply, Melody matters, you said that the new girl is not winning a prize, but as much as he treated me like crap, i still wish i could trade places with her anyday................. Icantletgo, you said you ex is still feeding you lies, i know this may sound horrable too, but at least your ex is finding it hard to just toss u aside, mine did............. and never even looked back Loveinlife, i hav no interest in guys, i choose to be single, as u said i am really trying to get to know myself and i know i am still hurting and definatley not ready for dating............its crazy because i get lots of attention when i go out, but that does not help
loveinlife Posted May 2, 2007 Posted May 2, 2007 Loveinlife, i hav no interest in guys, i choose to be single, as u said i am really trying to get to know myself and i know i am still hurting and definatley not ready for dating............its crazy because i get lots of attention when i go out, but that does not help Yeah i understand, im on the same boat. I am still not ready for a relationship. Good luck buttercup.
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