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sex the 1st night...can the relationship still develop?

LoveLace

By LoveLace
in General Relationship Discussion

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IpAncA Established Member

IpAncA

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I personal think your reading to much into it.

 

Some last, some don't. Depends on the couple.

pelagicsands Established Member

pelagicsands

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Depends

We appreciate your insight.

2sunny Established Member

2sunny

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LL-

 

has your rommate given any input or indication about how he feels about your new male interest?

 

he MAY get jealous if he knows .....

IpAncA Established Member

IpAncA

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We appreciate your insight.

Glad I could help, LOL!!

Lezbean Established Member

Lezbean

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I had sex with my honeypie the first night I met him. I had never done that before. It was the most amazing sex both of us had ever had. LOL we did it 7 times that night. We still have an amazing sex life and an incredible connection.

 

It's been 2 years and we are going to get married in January. The first year we took everything kind of slow...except the sex:love:

 

Mine never went away from the first night we met. I don't think it matters if you do or don't unless he is some religious zealot.

 

Just don't act too needy or too into him at first. Let him do all the pursuing.

 

GOOD LUCK!

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LoveLace Established Member

LoveLace

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LL-

 

has your rommate given any input or indication about how he feels about your new male interest?

 

he MAY get jealous if he knows .....

 

Hey Sunny! the roommate knows I have met a couple guys recently, but he doesn't realize how intrigued I am about this one. I'm sure he'll figure it out when he asks what I'm doing this weekend...

 

Ipanca, I just wanted to hear other people's opinions. And it helps to type out all my thoughts on these subjects. I'd prefer to call it "exploring aspects of the situation" - as opposed to "reading too much into it".- your a guy aren't you? he he.

 

I appreciate all of the stories good and bad! Apparently when you have sex on the 1st date, it could go either way as far as affecting the relationship.

dropdeadlegs Established Member

dropdeadlegs

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I'm going out on a limb...

 

Since your contact was weeks after the sexual encounter, he may see that as a positive. You didn't become clingy and assume that the sex meant love or marriage or anything.

 

That could work in your favor.

tanbark813 Established Member

tanbark813

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Since your contact was weeks after the sexual encounter, he may see that as a positive.

 

He'll definitely see it as positive, but more likely in the sense that he can bang her and not have to call her back. If a guy is interested in a serious relationship with a girl he's not likely to have sex with her and then not call her for 2 weeks.

 

Just sayin'...

Art_Critic Established Member

Art_Critic

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If a guy is interested in a serious relationship with a girl he's not likely to have sex with her and then not call her for 2 weeks.

 

Agreed.. there is a reason a guy passes up on 2 weeks of a sure thing..

dropdeadlegs Established Member

dropdeadlegs

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Okay, then. I'm a girl, and I think like a girl, always looking for a positive spin.

 

Listen to the guys, i was just thinkin', myself.

Road Rage Established Member

Road Rage

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RR is no 3. Two weeks, no call? Yea, there is always a good reason in a woman`s mind. But it is what it is. A guy with other things (or thang) on his mind:confused:

 

ps....sure as hell is a lot of women that have this "incredible sex"

 

 

only to be disappointed:bunny:

Lizzie60 Established Member

Lizzie60

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I would just play it safe for now... There is no time limit for a relationship to develop even after sex on the first night... not anymore anyway. This is old-fashioned to think we have to wait 2 weeks, 3 months... blablabla. I don't believe in that.

 

You had fun that's the main thing. He didn't call you ... so what? who said it HAS to be the guy who calls first after the first date.... come on we're in 2007 not 1900. Women are liberated (I hope) therefore doing the first steps is OK. He was busy with work, etc... and he was probably thinking about you, maybe he was too shy to call...who knows? The main thing is that you'll get to see him again...then you'll get a feeling if he's interested or not... follow your gut feeling.

 

Good luck!

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LoveLace Established Member

LoveLace

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I would just play it safe for now... There is no time limit for a relationship to develop even after sex on the first night... not anymore anyway. This is old-fashioned to think we have to wait 2 weeks, 3 months... blablabla. I don't believe in that.

 

You had fun that's the main thing. He didn't call you ... so what? who said it HAS to be the guy who calls first after the first date.... come on we're in 2007 not 1900. Women are liberated (I hope) therefore doing the first steps is OK. He was busy with work, etc... and he was probably thinking about you, maybe he was too shy to call...who knows? The main thing is that you'll get to see him again...then you'll get a feeling if he's interested or not... follow your gut feeling.

 

Good luck!

 

I agree Lizzie. I still don't read much into the fact that he wasn't the one to call 1st. I don't think it necessarily means he either IS or isn't interested in a relationship. He also just started a new job that requires him to travel 4-5 days week, so he's been busy, and didn't take the time out to call that girl he slept with, so what? I'm busy too, the reason it took 2 weeks for me to call myself. We only met once, and we slept together, so he could have assumed I wanted to keep it that way. I think a guy is less likely to keep chasing a girl that he met and slept with the same night...mainly because it probably gives the impression that she's already doing the same thing with another man! I think that calling him lets him know I'm not necessarily "that kind of gal". But nor am I clingy.

 

Like dropdeadlegs said, if he wants a relationship, he won't just call me when he's home on weekends or whatever...we would keep in touch through the week as well. But all I can do have fun with him for now and who knows, after getting to know him more, I might decide a weekend-only thing is actually ok! It all depends on which way my interest goes from here. Hopefully it goes up!

tanbark813 Established Member

tanbark813

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When you want to know how to cook you don't ask a farmer, you ask a chef.

TUDOR Established Member

TUDOR

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Nothing wrong with a "fun for now" partner. But don't sell yourself short of that being all there is because of how its started. For me it wasn't whether or not we had sex on the first date as a determining factor of whether or not it wrould progress into something more....BUT what was a dertermining factor was the quality of that sex. You know from a kiss if there is chemistry and more to go after....I would think sex on the first date reveals either a connection and chemistry and something to be desired...or no chemistry and maybe just a "fun for now".

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LoveLace Established Member

LoveLace

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? ...not sure I understand tan!

tanbark813 Established Member

tanbark813

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If you want to know how guys think then listen to guys, not girls.

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LoveLace Established Member

LoveLace

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If you want to know how guys think then listen to guys, not girls.

 

Ah well I listen to both. Weather or not I agree is up to me even though all input helps. I wasn't waiting or hoping for the guy to call, therefore I don't care about why he didn't. For me, it was a sudden decision to call just because I realized how much fun we had. If he doesn't want a relationship, but wants sex, chances are that could be ok with me cuz I haven't had a sexual partner in quite a while. Of course I might prefer a relationship but a casual thing would be acceptable also. For right now I'm just glad he was happy to hear from me and wants to see me again. I realize this doesn't indicate what he wants for sure, but I actually don't know what I want yet either, other than to know him better. But I did come here wondering what others thought of relationships that start out with sex. I've gotten a good mixture of opinions which I'm glad to know it could go either way.

tanbark813 Established Member

tanbark813

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Of course I might prefer a relationship but a casual thing would be acceptable also.

 

Ah, okay. Get you some. :cool:

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LoveLace Established Member

LoveLace

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Ah, okay. Get you some. :cool:

 

If that's as far as it goes..might as well for the time being!

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LoveLace Established Member

LoveLace

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by the way tan lookin sexy today! ha ha he he

tanbark813 Established Member

tanbark813

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by the way tan lookin sexy today! ha ha he he

 

Thanks, lil' lady. :D

allina Established Member

allina

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Everyone is saying that it's possible for a relationship to develop after a ons but that him never calling is a bad signal. It sort of seems like you are trying to pump up the positive and completely ignore the negative in this situation. I'm not saying the outcome will be one thing not another but I think you need to view both sides a little more realistically.

dropdeadlegs Established Member

dropdeadlegs

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If you want to know how guys think then listen to guys, not girls.

I have a BF that I'm happy with, but maybe you could start a thread about reading a guy's early signals and/or lack of them. I might need that kind of info later, and I seem to be pretty optimistic in the early stages based on my own recent experiences. My memory seems to be slipping when it comes to dating and reading men.

 

Or should I just read the highly touted book "He's Just Not That Into You?" That title gets thrown around a lot.

 

I think for the most part, the general info you give is good, but I definitely found an exception to all the rules. A few men are different and I know mine is not your average guy when it comes to pursuit and he is very expressive about his feelings when he feels deeply. If this ever ends, I'm going to need a refresher course in what most men think and how they behave because I am probably brainwashed now. :confused:

tanbark813 Established Member

tanbark813

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I have a BF that I'm happy with, but maybe you could start a thread about reading a guy's early signals and/or lack of them. I might need that kind of info later, and I seem to be pretty optimistic in the early stages based on my own recent experiences. My memory seems to be slipping when it comes to dating and reading men.

 

"Tanbark's Guide to Reading Men" - Got a nice ring to it. :D

 

Or should I just read the highly touted book "He's Just Not That Into You?" That title gets thrown around a lot.

 

I've never read it so I can't vouch for it but it sounds like it's probably accurate from things that have been quoted from it.

 

I think for the most part, the general info you give is good, but I definitely found an exception to all the rules. A few men are different and I know mine is not your average guy when it comes to pursuit and he is very expressive about his feelings when he feels deeply.

 

Yeah, I'm sure there are exceptions. I don't hesitate at all to admit I'm seasoned with a heavy dose of cynicism. :D

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