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Throught that things couldn't get worse (boy was I wrong)


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Posted

Who ever has been following my relationship (or lack of) things just got worse. As most of you know my b/f and I have been up, down, and just about all around. We have been talking about him turning 30, and hes taking it a little hard and he was having me help plan a trip to Vegas with him and his friends.....

 

He tells me yesterday that he no longer wants me to go with them! I'm super hurt and p*ssed off by this! It was very rude of him to invite me then uninvite me...

 

Yes I trust him but when there is drinking and TONS of new temptation... it's kind of a bad bet. . .plus his friends are the type of NJ/NY guys that never want to grow up and to tell you the truth are a bunch of players...I can't see anything good happening without his g/f there to get drunk with. . . this just sounds like a recipe for disaster.....

 

am I wrong? I can see if it was a bach party or something...

 

I dont understand that...I wouldnt go with the girls to Vegas I would want to go away with my b/f.....I would want him there to party with, get drunk with and have a good time with but thats just me I guess.....

 

Please help....Am I over reacting???????

  • Author
Posted

Cmon someone say something about this crap......:(

Posted

It was super rude and insensitive to uninvite you. I would be pretty choked if my bf did this to me too.

 

What was his reason for uninviting you?

  • Author
Posted
It was super rude and insensitive to uninvite you. I would be pretty choked if my bf did this to me too.

 

What was his reason for uninviting you?

 

He stated that no other girls are going (due to his friends breaking up with there g/f's for summer) I dont know if I should just end this or not I just feel like everytime I get through something there is another obstacle I have to get over....

Posted
He stated that no other girls are going (due to his friends breaking up with there g/f's for summer) I dont know if I should just end this or not I just feel like everytime I get through something there is another obstacle I have to get over....

 

So it basically turned into a guy's night out instead of all of you going together. What are your concerns about him having a guys night on his birthday?

 

I personally wouldn't feel very comfortable going with just guys, with no women for company. But i can understand how you'd feel hurt about him changing his mind about you not going.

 

Maybe you should consider breaking up with this guy if there is alot of conflict in your relationship with him. How long have you been with him?

  • Author
Posted
So it basically turned into a guy's night out instead of all of you going together. What are your concerns about him having a guys night on his birthday?

 

I personally wouldn't feel very comfortable going with just guys, with no women for company. But i can understand how you'd feel hurt about him changing his mind about you not going.

 

Maybe you should consider breaking up with this guy if there is alot of conflict in your relationship with him. How long have you been with him?

 

Been together for a year....if this was a couple months ago I would of had no prob...but since we are rocky in our relationship I just think this is going to be a recipe for disaster.....

Posted
Been together for a year....if this was a couple months ago I would of had no prob...but since we are rocky in our relationship I just think this is going to be a recipe for disaster.....

 

Does he know how upset you are about him going with out you?

 

I would talk to him about your concerns. Maybe he just needs time alone. Or maybe he feels uncomfortable with having just his gf coming along.

 

Sit him down and have a long talk with him. Tell him what your concerns are about him going alone. Maybe it's nothing. Could you take a single friend along also? He's bringing his friends, you could also bring a few of your single friends. You know what they say, the more the merrier. :)

  • Author
Posted

Thanks Im going to talk to him at dinner tonight....

 

I'll keep you posted I guess

  • Author
Posted

Listen to this bull Smack...I called him this afternoon to make sure we are still meeting up after work, of course he doesn’t answer the phone so I left a little voicemail. (I never had a prob with getting him on the phone before now I get his voicemail all the time) I then went to a meeting and when I came out checked my voicemail to hear that he had left me a message…so I call back again and get his voicemail again and left another message….he called back and I answer (Finally)

 

It was very weird between us…he wasn’t his talking self…then I asked him if we are still hanging out he says its not a good day because he has to stay late (7pm) working on a project for tomorrow....

 

a part of me wants to say its BS...but a part of me wants to believe him....

 

I'm so f**ken pissed he is showing me that he doesn’t care about me or this relationship by not even finding time to speak with me...so we talk after 7 who cares….right??? Am I wrong or blowing this out of proportion? I just feel like he doesnt want to deal with this and is running from it........

Posted

sleepless, I am sorry that you are going thru this.

 

I think your BF is being a bit of a dickhead.

 

Like you, I could understand if it was a bachelor thing to vegas, but its HIS BIRTHDAY. He should want to celebrate it with you there, and cos its HIS party, he should say who goes. who cares if you will be the only girl?

He doesn't want you there- and uninviting you was really insensitive.

 

 

Don't think about what will happen on the trip just yet- you need to talk to your BF, and gauge his reaction.

If you don't think the R is worth holding onto then I think you might need to consider breaking up with him.

He isn't going to back down and let you go- if he did that would cause resentment from his side.

 

I hate to say this, but maybe he wants to end the R, and this is his wimpish way of getting you to do it for him?

 

Sorry, but you do have to consider all the options.

 

I really do feel for you.

Posted

SINJ, you say "someone tell me something", want you really want is for someone to tell you only what you want to hear. I have suggested in two seperate posts, to stop contacting this guy, figure out a way to deal with that urge, and of course, you haven't..you are still in touch, still f**king around listening to him, and taking the abuse.

 

I"m sorry sweetie, but from your notes I am beginning to think that you are only comfortable and happy when in turmoil...so, you seek it unconsciously. Again, I am a guy who was in the same space as your BF, and NOTHING turned me off quicker, and made me quickly start resenting that person that constant contact, and need for answers.

 

You have to some way, some how figure out how to TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF now, and stop any and all contact with this guy, no matter how hard it is..he is only hurting you because you are opening the door to it yourself...

 

Sorry, this is harsh....but I think you're in a place where you need it...

  • Author
Posted

I understand were you guys are coming from as hard as it is really....but why does he tell me he loves me and doesnt want to break up, yet his actions show me he doesnt....I dont understand that.......

Posted

And you never will.

 

This constant analysing will only make you more and more stressed, and won't fix the situation.

 

I think you have to accept that the relationship is over and start to move on with your life.

Posted

Here I am , at your PM request.

 

Sweetie, this is your third or fourth thread about the unraveling of this relationship. In all fairness, two threads were nearly identical but in different forums.

 

I see that the same types of responses are being posted here as on the other threads. I'm just not sure what else to offer. I've already questioned if you like the drama, questioned if maybe he is pushing you to break up, and suggested giving him space.

 

Here are a few more tidbits of information.

 

1) Actions (and silence) speak much louder than words

2) When a relationship has more drama than serenity , it's time to end it.

3) Uninviting and excluding a SO to your b-day celebration is unacceptable.

 

Are you overreacting? No and yes. You are not overreacting about his change in birthday plans. You are overreacting about the relationship in general. Take a break. If he wants to be with you, he will come back groveling, and if he doesn't want to be with you, good riddance! Find someone who DOES.

 

Stop losing sleep over this guy!

Posted

I think both sb and ddl have got it right. If drama dominates the relationship, there's usually some core foundation issues involved. While there needs to be passion, constant negative passion isn't the glue that's going to hold the relationship together.

 

If you choose to remain in this relationship, for whatever your reasons, take your own vacation to Mexico with some of your friends, without inviting your guy. Sometimes it takes strong action to negate rude action.

Posted
I understand were you guys are coming from as hard as it is really....but why does he tell me he loves me and doesnt want to break up, yet his actions show me he doesnt....I dont understand that.......

 

I love you too. You mean the world to me Sleepless. I don't want to ever lose you.

 

See how easy that is to say. No big deal, no sweat off my imaginery balls to do so.

 

Words without the proper actions = Bullcrap

 

anybody can say anything..... people that truly care for you so you that they care through actions.

 

The guy is young, probably wants to sow more oats before being tied to one woman. I cannot say that is wrong, but he should at least be up front with you about it.

 

I say you need to start worrying about sowing your own wild oats at the age of 25-26, you don't need this drama.

 

Wash your crotch and go have fun. :p

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