patientguy Posted May 1, 2007 Posted May 1, 2007 Today was the big "talk" . When I got to work this Monday my MW emailed me and said today is the day she wanted to talk. We decided to meet after work at a local park (it is a nice day). The talk went similar to our past "talks", We spend time telling each other how much we feel for each other and how confusing it is for both of us. Her story hadn't changed much from the last few months, she needed time to try her marriage. If you haven't read any of my other posts, she's only been married 8 months, of which, we've been an item for 7 of those months. She admitted that she doesn't want to give up on me but just can't find it in her to call things off because of the time and family attachment her husband has. I told her I wanted to try with her but could not wait for her to decide. I really am a patient guy but I can't stay committed to a relationship, no matter how wonderful, when its a toss up if she'll ever find the courage to divorce. I also told her that I will be looking for another job because I can't bare to continue to work with her knowing we both love each other but knowing she's not committed to me. Right now isn't so bad, but I know there will be plenty of bad days ahead in me getting beyond my pain. It comes down to this. I have to leave all hope behind to move forward. This time I'm committed to seeing that through. I have no desire to continue going in circles with her. I want nothing more than to have a chance with her, but I have more dignity for myself than to hang in there as she wants me to. I think reading the posts on this site has helped me come to my current conviction....Thanks! If she wants to be with me she'll find a way to find it in herself to get a divorce. If not, I've got more pressing matters in life than to be a pincusion for giving her the passion and understanding that she lacks in her marriage. I do not want to be one of the people on this site posting my same situation 5 years after the fact. No offense, but live is too short to wait patiently for something that may never happen.
Jinxx Posted May 1, 2007 Posted May 1, 2007 If she wants to be with me she'll find a way to find it in herself to get a divorce. If not, I've got more pressing matters in life than to be a pincusion for giving her the passion and understanding that she lacks in her marriage. Yes she will. Given the length of her marriage, I think you have a shot at a future with MW. Keep being patient and put your needs first for now.
Lizzie60 Posted May 1, 2007 Posted May 1, 2007 I think you're heading for the right decision. Only then will she be confronted to the fact that she has to make her decision. It might go your way or not... but only then will you be able to move on with your life if she decided to stay in her marriage. Good luck!
Chapter2 Posted May 1, 2007 Posted May 1, 2007 Not to TJ but that is the CUTEST avitar! OMG, I want pick it up! I think you're heading for the right decision. Only then will she be confronted to the fact that she has to make her decision. It might go your way or not... but only then will you be able to move on with your life if she decided to stay in her marriage. Good luck!
oyster Posted May 1, 2007 Posted May 1, 2007 hum... 2 things come to mind 1- she is a newly wed so her sex life with hubby must be active? 2- she might get pregnant with her hubby and that complicate things also going away while she works on the marriage is a good thing. She will find you if it does not work out.
torranceshipman Posted May 1, 2007 Posted May 1, 2007 That's a great decision, patient guy, I've read your posts over the last few months and you seem to be in a much more positive place, emotionally speaking, than you were a few months ago, when you were still involved with MW. I agree with your decision to walk away with dignity and move on, and to not be a crutch for MW - good on you. If one day she has sorted herself out, and comes to find you, and offers you a commitment, see if you want it then...up until that point (if it happens), you have a great life to lead and a lot of great, single women out there to meet! (-:
Frances Posted May 1, 2007 Posted May 1, 2007 I hope for her husband's sake she ends the marriage now. Remember if she does it with you she will do to you. For your own sake find somebody new and free this time.
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