Aloros Posted April 30, 2007 Posted April 30, 2007 I've never lived with an SO before. I dated my ex for 5.5 years, never lived with him. I've been dating my current bf for about 10 months, and we're talking about maybe getting a house together (renting, not buying!). He's looking at new jobs, so it probably wouldn't be for 2-3 months, once we figured out where, if anywhere, we would be going (I'd follow where he went - his job is a career job, mine's just a day job). We have a committed, stable relationship. However, having never lived with anyone before, I'm not sure what to expect, what sort of questions to ask, what things should be worked out in the beginning, etc. Right now we spend evenings and weekends at either his place or mine. We share a lot of our food and we each help out with cleaning at the other's place if one of us around for an extended while. We have very similar living habits so neither of us really has anything to complain about in terms of cleanliness or the way things are done. We spent two weeks in a foreign country together with no clear idea of what we were going to do, and we both had a blast! So yes, we get along very well together. But I knoooow there are going to be things that I just don't think about, or that maybe become more of an issue when they are in my face more. So...for those of you experienced with living in sin, any advice?
dropdeadlegs Posted April 30, 2007 Posted April 30, 2007 What I have failed to do in a live-in situation is realize that I still need alone time or "me" time. I have a history of basing my life on my family, and almost excluding friends, unless they involved "family" affairs. I have given plenty of alone/him time and failed to see that it is just as important that I take some myself. I have jumped into living together too fast for me, too. I now know that i need one year to really get to know him, and two to even consider cohabitation. I tend to idealize men, so that is what's right for me, not necessarily you.
whichwayisup Posted April 30, 2007 Posted April 30, 2007 Have respect and understand that you both will need to have alone time, and things you LIKE to do alone...So whether that be you or him going out alone with your buddies, or someone watching tv, while the other is napping, or playing on the computer...Communication is important! Also, neither of you are "there" to entertain the other, so don't put ALL your eggs in one basket with him, or him with you. ENJOY the time together, but don't rely on him completely for your happiness. You'll learn as you go along - Find out what bugs you about him, what you love about him even more....Again, communication, respect and understanding is so crucial! Hmm, don't go to bed pissed off at eachother. Always resolve it before going to sleep! Oh yeah, have great sex in everyroom of your house!
justpassingthrough Posted May 1, 2007 Posted May 1, 2007 ^^^ Yeah, everything they said and some more... MONEY: Know how your money will work within the relationship. Will you split the bills 50/50? And exactly what bills are communal? Figure it out, right down to the cable and groceries and make sure each of you understand what's expected of you.
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