I'm so lost...

[Emotional24]

So I guess I'm just here to vent. I've had previous posts about me and my bf being on a break. Well we're done with the break and still together but something doesn't feel right. I feel like he is just "covering up" how he really feels and pretending everything is okay for him. But when I suggest we break up for a while and see what happens he doesn't want that. he tells me he wants to be with me. So maybe its me?

 

I want to be with him but I can't help but feel something is missing. I don't know if it just takes time to have these feelings of doubt go away after knowing your significant other was unsure about you or what. I use to feel so sure about how he felt about me, even if we were going through the roughest time I knew I could rely on the way he felt about me. But these thoughts are now in the back of my mind and I'm second guessing if we'll be together down the road. For instance if we make plans for a few months from now...I'm scared to because I fear we won't be together. We also have a trip coming up and I also fear that maybe he's just staying with me until then...kind of a stupid thought but I still can't help and wonder if he'll just dump me as soon as we get back. We don't have the best communication in our relationship so maybe that's really affecting me now and making me realize I'm not getting what I need out of this and am thinking of getting out.

 

And to add to this just last friday I found out he lied about going out with friends thurs. night. He hasn't lied to me(or that I know of) in forever and then he does over this? I confronted him about it the next night while out with my friends...I showed up at the bar he was at with his friend. He apologized and admited it was stupid. He just thought I'd be mad since his ex ended up being there too...but she was with all her friends and her bf who he mentioned she was all over the whole night. He even added he rarely talked to her...so then what was the big deal? I had even asked him prior to finding out he lied what he did thurs. nite and he obviously still went out of his way not to tell me. anyways...then later when we got home he had the nerve to say he wanted to be away from me(the night I confronted him) and that's why he didn't invite me to come out with him...even though I had not seen him all week. WTF!!! We just got back from taking a break and he already doesn't want me around??? I saw him at the beginning of the same week when I was taking care of him since he was sick with the flu. So I go out of my way for him and then he goes and lies about something so stupid that I wouldn't of been mad at him for anyways. So I guess just him pulling that makes me uneasy about us too.

 

I don't know if I should just wait it out and see what happens or end it now. I know if I talk to him about this, he'll just say we're fine, that he wants to be with me...even if he doesn't truly think so. I don't know what to do. I can see myself with him...its the way he won't communicate with me and the fact that something doesn't feel right with us that makes me doubt us lasting now and the fact that we took a break in the first place. He still can't really explain his whole reasoning behind not knowing what he wanted with us(which is why I initiated the break) He says he was just going through a funk and was scared about the future. Should I believe that? He says if he wanted out, he would get out...but maybe he's going through the same feelings I'm having right now???

[Bree]

First of all, by him lying it has broken your trust. And realtionships are based on trust. If there is no trust how can love have room to grow? It sounds like to me he is building resenment in you maybe not on purpose, but if you can't seem to get over it maybe you should just let him go. Hope i helped>

[Emotional24]

No...I'm over that. I'm figuring if he keeps lying about little things though, I'm walking away. I just felt like we just got back from taking a break and he already lied to me about something stupid which he never really did b4 the break so it shocked me too and it made me doubt if this was even going to work out. But I also found out from one of his guy friends that my bf was talking about how he lied to me and it was really stupid of him, really really stupid so that helped me to feel better about it all. So hopefully that habit doesn't keep occurring. As of right now I feel like things will be okay but I can only go through day by day...I can't predict the future so I'm just going to enjoy our time together as much as possible. And if the day comes where he/or I decide we don't want to be together anymore well then that's when I'll deal with it. I just got to stop all this second guessing. Otherwise I'm going to drive myself nuts!!!

[Guest]

Yeah, you're thinking way too much. I did the break thing too, and I'm back with him now. I want to move in with him, and it terrifies me. The thought of planning ahead terrified me too, i used to always think "will we still be together then?". It's just.....if you think he's right, and you do want to be in a long term relationship with him, you have to just bite the bullet and get on with it. Because otherwise, you're just running away from yourself. You actually have to face these fears. It's a scary thing, to be investing so much in one person. But if you've no actual solid reason to break up, then don't. If you're happy with the relationship, other than these vague doubts, and you do see a future together, then stick with it. There isn't a single person out there who doesn't have doubts about the future. It's natural. But you can't let them control you. You can sit in a corner and try and avoid everything that might hurt, and wrap yourself in cotton wool. Or you can go out, with your chin up, face the world and live life. It's up to you!Real life hurts like hell, but it's worth ((almost!)every second. And what doesn't kill you , makes you stronger!!!So go for it!