heynowwww Posted April 30, 2007 Posted April 30, 2007 After a weekend of doing all the wrong things my head is now a mess. My ex and first love broke up about a year ago and she is in an 8th month long relationship now. The problem is everytime I go no contact she ends up pleading her way back to me. This weekend we ended up hooking up Saturday night. I still feel a connection but I dont know if she is running on old feelings or confused or what. On Sunday she was crying saying how she has done so many bad things to me, but then tells me how much she enjoys her new relationship and his family. All I can think is if you enjoy him so much why do you cheat on him. I know I should go no contact...I just need to find a way to get over the depression.
Geishawhelk Posted April 30, 2007 Posted April 30, 2007 how can you hope to move on if you stay where you are? "insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result." For goodness' sake, cut off all contact, stop playing this game, and move on.
2ndIINone Posted April 30, 2007 Posted April 30, 2007 I just need to find a way to get over the depression. You just need a way to 'realize' she's a cheater. And if you were to take her back, she'd cheat on you too. Knowing THAT, makes it a hell of alot easier to go NC.
LucreziaBorgia Posted April 30, 2007 Posted April 30, 2007 Depression won't go away until you remove the source of depression. In this case, until you remove her from your life you are dooming yourself to continued depression. It will eat at your soul like a cancer. She is the cause of that cancer. Chemo, man. Chemo. No contact is your chemo. Just like chemo, it will burn you, it will hurt you and it will feel like your heart is shrivelling up to a tiny black core - but it will slowly eat away that cancer. Slowly the pain will be replaced by healing. It won't be easy, but you have to cut this girl off. Change your number if you have to. Move away if you can, and leave no way for her to find you. Block every single way she has to contact you, and do not contact her. Like I said, it will feel like its killing your heart to do so, but I can assure you this: it definitely will kill your heart if you continue to see her.
Author heynowwww Posted April 30, 2007 Author Posted April 30, 2007 Thanks for the advice I already know I should do this...It is just a matter of doing it. I took the day off work today as my head is not in the right place. I was thinking about going to talk to a professional...I have never felt so weak in my life
Geishawhelk Posted April 30, 2007 Posted April 30, 2007 "I already know I should do this...." "I was thinking about going to talk to a professional...." So what's stopping you?
Author heynowwww Posted April 30, 2007 Author Posted April 30, 2007 oh nothing is stopping me I called my employer's eap and they are setting me up w. a professional. For some reason I always seem to think some day she will realize things and come back to me but I need to quit that type of thinking and move on. Thanks for all the advice. This site is a great resource.
Geishawhelk Posted April 30, 2007 Posted April 30, 2007 The greatest thing with any problem is to act upon it. The second is to find some humour in it. Someday you'll probably look back on this and smile wryly...... I hope you can step outside the circle of your suffering, and find the fulfilment you deserve. All the best to you......
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