Cherlem Posted April 30, 2007 Posted April 30, 2007 My boyfriend & I were "on a break". We both agreed we weren't going to see other people. We were supposed to "start fresh" next week. We’ve only been dating about 3 months. The reason for our break was because of our fighting. We kept fighting because I found out he was still married while he was dating me. He acted like he was divorced. He played ignorant & “didn’t realize” the divorce wasn’t final yet. Supposedly, there was a problem with the payment to his lawyer. Once he paid off the lawyer his divorce was final a few days later. After this drama was the dating sites. He was a member of about 5 different dating services. (He paid for 3 of them). He kept them all active while dating me. (Eventhough, we were exclusive). He supposedly never visited them while he was with me. I asked them to delete them & he said “I have no idea where this relationship is going. I paid for a full year. I do not want to lose out on that money in case this relationship doesn’t work out”. I managed to give him the benefit of the doubt. I cared about him & wanted this to work. We decided we cared enough about each other & had enough in common to want to try this. We realized we kind of hopped right into the relationship & we didn’t really become friends first. Thus, I came up with the break idea. He said he would not be opposed to that. I usually do not agree with "taking a break". But, in our instance this seemed valid & necessary. But, I screwed up. I was drinking & met a friend of a friend. He was cute. (We didn't even really talk!) At the end of the evening I tried calling my boyfriend. He hit ignore on his phone. I then texted my girlfriend & said "Hey. Can you give D my number if he's interested? S is being an -ss". Trouble is, I accidentally sent that to the boyfriend. I am NOT a cheater. Never have been, never will be. I know that even if “D” called me I would not have talked to him. I believe the only reason I wanted the number was “just in case”. It sounds awful. But, afterall, I am the one that came up with the break idea. My BF just went along with it. In the back of my mind I was always doubting if he was really in this at all. He has now broke up with me & is not taking my calls. He calls this "intent to cheat". Any ideas on how to make this better? BF is overly paranoid about this. He even told me last night "Why wouldn't you cheat? Every other girl I've ever dated has cheated". So, he's automatically lumping me in with those girls... He has now said he never wants to speak to me again. Every attempt to explain, apologize, etc has been unanswered & this was 3 days ago. Do you really think he means this? Or do I just give him space? Will I really never get to talk to him again?
LakesideDream Posted April 30, 2007 Posted April 30, 2007 You might as well give him the time he's asked for. Yup, it wasn't a good move, your "break" may have ended up in it being "broke". Why are you continuing to try and make contact? When a female asks for NC, she gets it. Heck there are even laws saying so. Continuing to call or contact a female against her will is called "stalking"... and gets the male a visit from a detective.
Enema Posted April 30, 2007 Posted April 30, 2007 This will cause problems down the track if you ever get back together. You screwed up, you know it. Better for all involved to move on now and save time.
Teddy and Jane Posted May 6, 2007 Posted May 6, 2007 sounds like it's for the best. He's a lying jerk. You forgave him for his HUGE lie of the "little" detail that he was still officially married. Best to cut your losses and move on, you can do better. In addition, you want a guy who is crazy about you, not one who sees you as good enough until someone better comes along. this statement “I have no idea where this relationship is going. I paid for a full year. I do not want to lose out on that money in case this relationship doesn’t work out”. tells you loud and clear he IS still checking out other options on the dating sites and you ARE just someone he's with until someone else comes along. He's an a**hole, he knows it, and now he's making you think you are the jerk. well SCREW that! Adios him for GOOD.
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