GregsBad Posted April 29, 2007 Posted April 29, 2007 Am I starting a new thread on a subject that's already been hammered? I curious about women holding out on sex until some period of time, for reasons related to commitment, marriage, sure he really cares about you etc. I have some questions about when a woman holds out for a long time: 1. Does she really think he's being celibate and going without? 2. If she does give it up early and gets dumped, does she really think it's because she gave it up too soon? Is there any possibility that it just wasn't so good? Because I think he'd be coming back if it was good. 3. If she held out for a long time, then gave it up, how would she feel if he dumped her then? Like, after all this wait, it just wasn't so good? 4. If she really can hold out for months -doesn't that say something negative about her libido? Why would a man want a woman who could do that? 5. If he really can wait for months - doesn't that really say something negative about his libido? Why would a woman want a man who could do that?
longlaffer Posted April 29, 2007 Posted April 29, 2007 You know... all reasonable questions, coming from a male. Women are stupid, not to be self denigrating but I know from experience. Women become often become so attached due to the intimacy that, beyond the religious reasons, there are plenty for her NOT to become intimate. I often TRY to dissuade men from the pursuit by telling them that I will behave as if I own them after intimacy, wanting to know where they are and what they are thinking... It usually works! Women, in their la-la loveland, think that a man who loves her as much as she loves will gladly wait for her. She thinks that she is worth it because she believe he is worth it. Stupid. It is usually an emotional thing for a woman. She believes that... 1) Yes, he will wait for her and not resort to porn, masturbation and other women... 2) She likely believes that sex is important but will not be the demise of any relationship. In her mind there could be no bad sex and with experience it will always be good. 3) If she hold out, gives it up and then gets dumped... she will be an emotional wreck, because she doesn't care about the quality of sex as much as the emotional connection 4) Has nothing to do with her libido. Most women don't feel the need until it is fed...experienced. Unfortunately for you... it's all about love most of the time. Get the picture? If you don't love her enough to WANT to wait, then don't! Go elsewhere and go fast. Do let her heart become so emotionally entangled that she is ruined because you didn't love her enough to wait for HER to be ready and that you didn't love HER more than the sex! Life is complicated... Longlaffer
Author GregsBad Posted April 29, 2007 Author Posted April 29, 2007 I often TRY to dissuade men from the pursuit by telling them that I will behave as if I own them after intimacy, wanting to know where they are and what they are thinking... It usually works! Yep! Shure works for me ... I'm not in the mood any more
Author GregsBad Posted April 29, 2007 Author Posted April 29, 2007 Women, in their la-la loveland, think that a man who loves her as much as she loves will gladly wait for her. She thinks that she is worth it because she believe he is worth it. Stupid. It is usually an emotional thing for a woman. She believes that... 1) Yes, he will wait for her and not resort to porn, masturbation and other women... 2) She likely believes that sex is important but will not be the demise of any relationship. In her mind there could be no bad sex and with experience it will always be good. 3) If she hold out, gives it up and then gets dumped... she will be an emotional wreck, because she doesn't care about the quality of sex as much as the emotional connection 4) Has nothing to do with her libido. Most women don't feel the need until it is fed...experienced. Unfortunately for you... it's all about love most of the time. Get the picture? If you don't love her enough to WANT to wait, then don't! Go elsewhere and go fast. Do let her heart become so emotionally entangled that she is ruined because you didn't love her enough to wait for HER to be ready and that you didn't love HER more than the sex! Life is complicated... Longlaffer Good answers, funny too! Thanks Funny though, I've had my share of exprerinces where this topic comes up early, and I explain that, I'm NOT interested in marriage but I still want sex ... so if that's a player to her and unacceptable then I'll understand, it was nice to have dinner with you. Then so often, they change right away like; "OK - you win ... your place or mine ... but I want you to know I don't normally do this." . So I guess a player must be a guy who pretends to want a serious relationship. And a guy who doesn't pretend can often get what the player had to lie for.
alphamale Posted April 29, 2007 Posted April 29, 2007 most females who are very attracted to a particular male won't be able to "hold out"...
pricillia Posted April 29, 2007 Posted April 29, 2007 It depends if a woman really likes the man... I don't think women are stupid nor men... But for me personally if you have feelings for a man and you both like and love them then what better way to get to know someone then being intimate. I am not saying meeting someone and just say hey lets F**K Telling them that you are going to make them wait by playing mind games is just stupid... Like getting to a certian point and then stopping and torturing him...not nice. I think some women do that just because they think that it holds some power.
serial muse Posted April 29, 2007 Posted April 29, 2007 most females who are very attracted to a particular male won't be able to "hold out"... too true, alpha. i can't imagine wanting to hold out for months. or even weeks. seems like a waste. >shrug<
alphamale Posted April 30, 2007 Posted April 30, 2007 too true, alpha. i learned that from personal experience SM....heh heh
Author GregsBad Posted April 30, 2007 Author Posted April 30, 2007 most females who are very attracted to a particular male won't be able to "hold out"... Gotta agree. If she likes the guy a lot, really attracted to him and if she likes sex, she's gonna want to jump his bones just like he wants to jump her's. And the guy will sense it too - she'll have her ways of letting him know. It doesn't take all that long. If she doesn't feel chemistry for him early on, the chemistry isn't there. Girls who hold on to the "gotta make him wait" thing ... well things are changing and there's a ground swell of sweet girls just hoping some other girl will procrastinate. She'll take over with her way of letting him know what's on her mind. Argue all you want, but I see it happen all time.
pricillia Posted April 30, 2007 Posted April 30, 2007 Gotta agree. If she likes the guy a lot, really attracted to him and if she likes sex, she's gonna want to jump his bones just like he wants to jump her's. And the guy will sense it too - she'll have her ways of letting him know. It doesn't take all that long. If she doesn't feel chemistry for him early on, the chemistry isn't there. Girls who hold on to the "gotta make him wait" thing ... well things are changing and there's a ground swell of sweet girls just hoping some other girl will procrastinate. She'll take over with her way of letting him know what's on her mind. Argue all you want, but I see it happen all time.
Trialbyfire Posted April 30, 2007 Posted April 30, 2007 Am I starting a new thread on a subject that's already been hammered? I curious about women holding out on sex until some period of time, for reasons related to commitment, marriage, sure he really cares about you etc. Women hold out for all kinds of reasons: 1. Religion, which is their choice. 2. The power princess. Which is stupid, in my opinion. 3. No emotional connection. I'm #3. No emotional connection or exclusivity, no interest. While I'm definitely not looking for marriage, I do expect a guy who has enough self control that he's committed to me emotionally and physically. If there's a guy who's so weak or selfish that he's unable to uphold something as simple and basic as this, move on...
Chamari Posted April 30, 2007 Posted April 30, 2007 1. Does she really think he's being celibate and going without? If he wants to be in a relationship with me he better be. Maybe it is harder on guys but even so. I want to know that he's got some self-control. 2. If she does give it up early and gets dumped, does she really think it's because she gave it up too soon? Is there any possibility that it just wasn't so good? Because I think he'd be coming back if it was good. Sounds like an emotional disaster for her. 3. If she held out for a long time, then gave it up, how would she feel if he dumped her then? Like, after all this wait, it just wasn't so good? Yeah, same as the last question. 4. If she really can hold out for months -doesn't that say something negative about her libido? Why would a man want a woman who could do that? You're telling me that you wouldn't want to know that your girl would be willing to wait for you and not go out and screw some random guy just because you're not around? 5. If he really can wait for months - doesn't that really say something negative about his libido? Why would a woman want a man who could do that? Because I know that he can wait for months--if we have to be apart for a significant length of time then it's nice to know that I probably won't have to worry too much about him cheating because I know that he's got some self-control.
Woman Whisperer Posted April 30, 2007 Posted April 30, 2007 1. Does she really think he's being celibate and going without? If he wants to be in a relationship with me he better be. Maybe it is harder on guys but even so. I want to know that he's got some self-control. But you're saying what you think guys should be like, in your opinion. The truth is that guys don't have that contrl. I'm talking about normal healthy sexual men. If you date a healthy, normal sexual man and make him wait for months for sex ... he'll get it somewhere else. Maybe tell you, maybe not, but he'll do it. It's like expecting a dog to sit in you lap and purr ... cat's do that but dogs don't.
Woman Whisperer Posted April 30, 2007 Posted April 30, 2007 Gotta agree. It doesn't take all that long. If she doesn't feel chemistry for him early on, the chemistry isn't there. I agree. But there's more: Her body knows what she should be hooking up with and might not agree with what she's been taught to look for. Once a powerful attraction kicks in, her hypothalamus secretes piptides into her system which quickly find their way through her body. She can get into an overwhelming frame of mind. She'll want to do what she thinks she shouldn't. Her genes will have her wanting to look into his jeans. If the guy is on his toes, he'll hear what her body is saying to his.
Tangerina Posted April 30, 2007 Posted April 30, 2007 If I really truly like someone I just go for it when it comes up naturally and don't sweat it. The one time I was on the fence about whether it was a serious thing in my mind or just a fling I waited about 3 weeks and then we had sex and it was really really bad sex and due to that and other factors, such as realizing he had a major drinking problem, I ended up calling it off. I don't exactly regret sleeping with him but it makes a bad story to tell to subsequent partners when they ask about my numbers. I'd probably be a bit happier not having that one on my list, but at the time it seemed like the right decision so I don't really regret it. The point is I think it is more important to be really sure about the person than to wait a certain amount of time or whatever.
Author GregsBad Posted April 30, 2007 Author Posted April 30, 2007 then we had sex and it was really really bad sex and due to that and other factors, such as realizing he had a major drinking problem, I ended up calling it off. I don't exactly regret sleeping with him but it makes a bad story to tell to subsequent partners when they ask about my numbers. Why not just say he was bad in bed and you kicked him to the curb. That ought to let the next guy know he better do a good job.
Island Girl Posted April 30, 2007 Posted April 30, 2007 There IS a little more to it -- A woman who respects herself and understands that the majority of men will NOT end up being compatible in all areas (and knowing that men can sleep with a female whom they are only mildly attracted to and that being barely physical - only seeing her as, for lack of a better term, a receptacle) will get to know a man on a more personal level than just physical attraction, etc. There has to be more of a foundation for sex than just "he's hot" - there has to be a lot more of a connection than that.
Tangerina Posted April 30, 2007 Posted April 30, 2007 Greg-touche. Yeah, that's what I told my current guy and it went over fine, cept I think it was a little weird to him because he is not the sort to go for a casual fling. Turns out neither am I but I tried. I haven't told anyone this because I know my room mate would get drunk and say it to him, but he has a tiny tiny penis! I never thought size mattered to me and honestly I prefer 'average' to huge, but it was so small sex was almost mechanically impossible! On top of that he was drunk and he told me he was sober until like 5 minutes in and was like "man, I drank too much." talk about worst sexual experience ever.
Island Girl Posted April 30, 2007 Posted April 30, 2007 I haven't told anyone this because I know my room mate would get drunk and say it to him, but he has a tiny tiny penis! My roommate in college played strip poker with three guys and another girl - and one of the guys had a penis that was smaller than her little finger! He was 6'4" (played on the football team) and it was THAT small. He said it was "much bigger" when he was aroused until the other girl got frisky with him and the only improvement was the rigidity. Within our circle of friends it was very well known. Poor guy!!
Chamari Posted April 30, 2007 Posted April 30, 2007 But you're saying what you think guys should be like, in your opinion. The truth is that guys don't have that contrl. I'm talking about normal healthy sexual men. If you date a healthy, normal sexual man and make him wait for months for sex ... he'll get it somewhere else. Maybe tell you, maybe not, but he'll do it. Actually, I'm just saying what a guy who wants me should be like. Is it a lot to ask? Sure, but I know that it is possible. It seems like there are a ton of people on here that hold the same opinion that "guys don't have that control" but I think the truth of it is that most guys don't try all that hard. Why should they? Everybody keeps saying that it's alright for guys to have no control so why bother? I think that that attitude accounts for at least part of why, but I also think that the attitude that everything except for actual intercourse is still okay would probably help with the "not having control" part. Maybe I'm completely off, but hey, all I can share is my thoughts.
alphamale Posted April 30, 2007 Posted April 30, 2007 I'm #3. No emotional connection or exclusivity, no interest.... well TBF, how do you strengthen the emotional connection before having sex? Havings sexual relations with someone is what makes them a lover and seperates them from all other types of relaitonships. To my knowledge many women don't truly get emotionally "connected" until after sex.
Trialbyfire Posted April 30, 2007 Posted April 30, 2007 well TBF, how do you strengthen the emotional connection before having sex? Havings sexual relations with someone is what makes them a lover and seperates them from all other types of relaitonships. To my knowledge many women don't truly get emotionally "connected" until after sex. Some do, some don't. If that were the case, male and female friends would all be having sex. That there's chemistry between two people doesn't always mean that they end up in bed together. There also has to be trust, respect and the ability to like being in each other's company through good conversation and mutual interests. If one of these components is missing, it doesn't progress any further. It's not even a conscious decision, more hindsight in analyzing my own patterns.
alphamale Posted April 30, 2007 Posted April 30, 2007 There also has to be trust, respect and the ability to like being in each other's company through good conversation and mutual interests. If one of these components is missing, it doesn't progress any further. yea but if you invest all that time and energy to build this "non-sexual emotional connection" and then you finally end up having sex and he's got a 2.5" penis or his technique sucks then all that other stuff you built don't amount to a hill of beans.
Trialbyfire Posted April 30, 2007 Posted April 30, 2007 yea but if you invest all that time and energy to build this "non-sexual emotional connection" and then you finally end up having sex and he's got a 2.5" penis or his technique sucks then all that other stuff you built don't amount to a hill of beans. Ummm...that hasn't been an issue...yet...although technique tends to be very individual. All you have to do is to communicate. If he's any lover at all, he'll want to please so he can be pleased in turn.
alphamale Posted April 30, 2007 Posted April 30, 2007 Ummm...that hasn't been an issue...yet...although technique tends to be very individual. All you have to do is to communicate. If he's any lover at all, he'll want to please so he can be pleased in turn. don't gimme that politically correct baloney TBF
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