2005lexus Posted April 29, 2007 Posted April 29, 2007 I am a man in my 30s who is going through a mutually agreed upon divorce. I met another woman through a work partnership that I spent a bunch of time with because of work. We got close as there was some chemistry going on every time we saw each other. We got closer and had sex every day, a couple times a day. She was really into me in the beginning. She has two kids from two different men, never married to either. None of them support her or her kids. I have never been with a woman outside of my marriage before and since I am going through a divorce I justified the experience as it kinda fell into my lap. Here's the BAD news. I got into her too much going over to her house late at night, sneaking around because I was still technically married. Time ran its course and now she pulled away and said she needs to focus on something else, not me because I am a dead end relationship for her. She is no longer into me even a quarter of what it used to be. Because she is poor and struggling with 2 kids I felt for her and paid her bills 4 months in a row starting last December. That is $21,000. During that time I was not allowed to come to her house because she didnt want her friends or family to see me around and think she was trying to date me, a still married man. We had all the reason to see each other during the week because we had work we did together (we are both indepedent contractors). For me maybe she was my escape from my divorce situation, I don't know really because I was just caught up in it. After weeks of whining over how things changed and how she is leaving me, this weekend I decided to get on with my life and do something different. I took a scuba certification class. She heard about it and was saying how cool that would be. I ended up thinking how it would be nice to have her there and payed $700 for her class and gear, and she did the class with me. On the boat she was kinda distant from me saying but a few things, but nice and talkative to a couple guys claiming she was only chatting. We got into an argument and she said again that she was very clear about us needing to not think about any future together. I dropped her home after taking her and her daughters to lunch, silently pissed and feeling stupid. I did that because I did not want to end our day on a sour note. I did not speak to her the rest of the day though. Today she calls and says she was heading out to the park with her family and friends (i'm not invited of course) but just had to hear my voice. I was happy and nice intending to make yesterday be the last day I spend a dime on her and start a NC. She ended up saying have a nice fulfilling day and I love you. I said ok have a nice day too and hung up. Why does she say I love you when she tells me to get lost basically. Is it her way of giving me a mercy phrase to keep me from being depressed? So I feel like I am a spineless wuss, not only for giving her all that money but sucking up to her for so long just for a little bone called attention. Maybe I crave it so much I would settle for anything and give everything for that little I get back. I am weak. She will call me later in the evening when her happy day is over and she has nothing else to do. I will pick up the phone again and be happy I just get to talk to her. She will cut the conversation short because she has to go watch some tv and I will again feel like I am the one wanting something and she is fine checking up on me for a few minutes. Can anyone relate to my situation?? I am lost in my emotion and I need to be b***h slapped by a few of you. Please help me.
2ndIINone Posted April 29, 2007 Posted April 29, 2007 *slap* *slap slap slip slap* *kick and punch in the gut* how's that? Why does she say I love you when she tells me to get lost basically. Is it her way of giving me a mercy phrase to keep me from being depressed? cause she's a woman... and she's nuts. Same difference. Two kids, who's my daddy? She's a mess... most likely very unstable... and proving it. You can't be wrapped too tight either... $21,000.00? How' bout sending me $1,000.00 and I won't let you in the house either. Advice: Get your mind right....and don't sweat her crazy actions/thoughts/words.... as I said... "Mess" would best describe her and she probably wants to keep you around for the $$$.... which in turn will make you a mess MORE so then you already are.
smookie Posted April 29, 2007 Posted April 29, 2007 I have a best friend just like that, or she was like that until she was set straight. She would call guys when she wanted something, even just conversation, Then she would not talk to them for so long. " keeping them on a string" but the minute she called wanting something they would all run for her. I say go for the NC, Do not answer your phone, Do not pay for anything for her. Be cold towards her as she is with you. We all want to hear someones voice that we care about and invested in, But when you are getting walked on it is time for you to walk and start a new life for yourself. Sorry sound like she is using you big time and I feel sad for you. Best of luck
LakesideDream Posted April 29, 2007 Posted April 29, 2007 Well, you sure were an all day sucker. I thought I was a generous sap, you take the cake. Time to make your flight. Face the facts son, you be had. I hope the sex was worth it cause it sure cost you a bunch! I'll bet paying off the credit cards, or buying a BMW would have felt a lot better in the long run. Adios.
Author 2005lexus Posted April 29, 2007 Author Posted April 29, 2007 Thanks for the encouragement. When a man is alone in his emotional trap how can a man see clearly enough to stop the vicious cycle, especially when faced with a woman that is mentally more agile than he is to keep him there.
smookie Posted April 30, 2007 Posted April 30, 2007 We are here to only to say the way we see it, I am sorry but truth is truth, I was slapped more then once on here and i learnt from this way back in 2003 we do not like to hear what others have to say but we all come here for a reason and thats for a non judgmental responce. I really hope you see this, we reapond cuz we relate to your situation Lots of love
JaneInVegas Posted April 30, 2007 Posted April 30, 2007 This woman is a manipulator and a leach. I know the type pretty well. She gives you just enough of what you want and need to keep you interested enough to keep buying her attention. She keeps you at arms length because she's not really interested in you (sorry...) and just wants to try to keep the cash source readily available. It's women like her that give the rest of us a bad name. Sorry it happened to you.
Chrome Barracuda Posted April 30, 2007 Posted April 30, 2007 I am a man in my 30s who is going through a mutually agreed upon divorce. I met another woman through a work partnership that I spent a bunch of time with because of work. We got close as there was some chemistry going on every time we saw each other. We got closer and had sex every day, a couple times a day. She was really into me in the beginning. She has two kids from two different men, never married to either. None of them support her or her kids. I have never been with a woman outside of my marriage before and since I am going through a divorce I justified the experience as it kinda fell into my lap. Here's the BAD news. I got into her too much going over to her house late at night, sneaking around because I was still technically married. Time ran its course and now she pulled away and said she needs to focus on something else, not me because I am a dead end relationship for her. She is no longer into me even a quarter of what it used to be. Because she is poor and struggling with 2 kids I felt for her and paid her bills 4 months in a row starting last December. That is $21,000. During that time I was not allowed to come to her house because she didnt want her friends or family to see me around and think she was trying to date me, a still married man. We had all the reason to see each other during the week because we had work we did together (we are both indepedent contractors). For me maybe she was my escape from my divorce situation, I don't know really because I was just caught up in it. After weeks of whining over how things changed and how she is leaving me, this weekend I decided to get on with my life and do something different. I took a scuba certification class. She heard about it and was saying how cool that would be. I ended up thinking how it would be nice to have her there and payed $700 for her class and gear, and she did the class with me. On the boat she was kinda distant from me saying but a few things, but nice and talkative to a couple guys claiming she was only chatting. We got into an argument and she said again that she was very clear about us needing to not think about any future together. I dropped her home after taking her and her daughters to lunch, silently pissed and feeling stupid. I did that because I did not want to end our day on a sour note. I did not speak to her the rest of the day though. Today she calls and says she was heading out to the park with her family and friends (i'm not invited of course) but just had to hear my voice. I was happy and nice intending to make yesterday be the last day I spend a dime on her and start a NC. She ended up saying have a nice fulfilling day and I love you. I said ok have a nice day too and hung up. Why does she say I love you when she tells me to get lost basically. Is it her way of giving me a mercy phrase to keep me from being depressed? So I feel like I am a spineless wuss, not only for giving her all that money but sucking up to her for so long just for a little bone called attention. Maybe I crave it so much I would settle for anything and give everything for that little I get back. I am weak. She will call me later in the evening when her happy day is over and she has nothing else to do. I will pick up the phone again and be happy I just get to talk to her. She will cut the conversation short because she has to go watch some tv and I will again feel like I am the one wanting something and she is fine checking up on me for a few minutes. Can anyone relate to my situation?? I am lost in my emotion and I need to be b***h slapped by a few of you. Please help me. Bitch Slap!!!! She was a jump-off plain and simple. You had wild monkey sex because you needed comfort going through a divorce, no problem. If you actally think about it she did you a great favor. You just came out of a marriage, she has two kids, by two different men. Are you gonna be #3? So yo got tricked into paying for scuba lessions, you got punked. Live and learn!!! there's nothing to be ashamed about It happened to me as well. She didnt want to be tied down to a man who's gonna try to be with her on the rebound. Give your divorce time to process in your mind. Distance yourself away from this woman, by all means. It doesnt look like she was a good cannidate for LTR anyways. So count your blessings. and apreciate the good times. You'll get over her, dont be so heartbroken about it. There's alot of women out here, you'll find out but you got to get your mind right. Get yourself settled, wait a little bit before looking for something serious.
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