tashsih Posted April 29, 2007 Posted April 29, 2007 Been together for 5+ yrs . Everything was great! A serious bond here. BUT in the last 2 mths things he's been weird.The current situation: Ron's bro's fiance' dumped him& is just now wanting some tail (being kinda a tomboy, I know that That alone might be a time to stay alert b/c he wants to mingle w/ his big bro)...Ron's job is good-BUT early hrs means "no energy" to go out when I get off work...his music carrier is up in the air-he gets all excited with deals then they never materialize..so hes VERY frustrated w/ that ...I'm getting laid off Right when our lease ends obviously that's stress ..we had alot of friends but for various reasons we dont have any now just me him &/or his bro -we've all been tight since teens-but lately weve both been wanting more friends ....SO he started out jokeing that we should move seperatly when the lease ends in 2 mths... then it went to teaseing me -stupid stuff like my style or that i think hes a god i could never live w/o him...example: i was going to get us an online XXX site subscription I said "Ron, when a guy watches porn does it make them want to go get some new" " or would it satisfy so they wouldn't want to?etc" he makes one of his jokes by biting his lip when i say " " and said " well i dont know cause Ive been wanting some new " " for 3 years now"...yeeaah haha and all but it made me uncomfortable so ive asked to stop & tried it all -he just wont stop! he says im being too emotional but shouldnt he just respect my opinion & stop?!..so all that /mixed with him then asking if we get our own places put me on defence and i cried and got depressed. When drunk one night he was acting so distant I demanded to know whats up .."youre acting crazy blowing me off makeing mean jokes wanting to move-whats up? he said he didnt want to talk about it a few minutes later of demanding answers i deserve he cried and said he doesnt know what he wants over and over and saying he wants his own place... i asked if he still knew he wanted to BE with ME he wouldnt answer!... the next day I was devastated and shocked I just cried alone in the other room ...ron kissed my ass all day then said why are you so sleepy- duh ron im not sleepy i just cant believe this blah blah so he said he doesnt know why he said that and that he takes it back... We then spent a week or so trying to talk it out. he's been back and forth on the moving seperate part ...He says its for fun. That we spend massive time together and need to get some independence so we don't burn out. He says he knows im the one for him and he'll always be together but he wants to look back on his life and know that he did it on his own once that he wont regret not "just being young". We're 26&27 (maybe 19 @ heart)and we've never lived on our own. I thought it was that he wants to live w/ his bro make it a bachelor pad but appartently they dont have plans for that. Now he says if it's going to hurt me finacially or i'll break up w/ him over it - he won't do it. We've been planning to find one together again and still leave it as an "option later". At this point I can't help but see "signs" that he doesnt want me. Things like not wanting to kiss me goodbye or goodnight...haveing a new friend at work - a girl who calls regulary and he never calls back when im there-almost went with her to a concert last night w/o me! b/c we couldnt afford both of us to go!isnt that ****ed? i mean ive never met her! and with all this stuff going on WHY SHOULDN"T i have a fit about that!?...he never complements anything physical .....& the jokes continue ! I understand to that when you go looking for "signs" you'll find em even if its just in your head... These could be taken as very bad signs. Can I take him at his word that we are fine? ... I have to say, he is a very trustworthy person it would be def out of character to cheat. Could he be haveing the 7 yr itch- what i can i do about that? I know you can't miss something thats already right there... and if I try to just be more independant, work on me not always us , loose some weight and play a light hard to get will that fix it? Should I get my own apt anyway b/c he might change his mind later and Ill be stuck? Should I just believe his word and not the jokes? Are the jokes a way to say the truth outloud? Should I get the porn subscription?
Author tashsih Posted April 30, 2007 Author Posted April 30, 2007 my post above is a bit long ... what about just asking what ya'll think of seperate apartments for couples who have lived together for a few years...depends on situation i guess... think it's a big sign? Porn helps me if Im feeling too frisky and would stop me from messing around if I was temped...but if your girl & u were haveing a rough spot and shes a lil big and youre not really hyped about her body all the time anymore would it help or hurt ?I mean if you're looking at these lil tight bodys and a man...?
Author tashsih Posted May 2, 2007 Author Posted May 2, 2007 I cant stop thinking about it! One minute I think everything is fine - and he's been saying it is . He's said that for a sec he wasnt sure about us that he was "Freaking Out "b/c he's so young. But now he says amazing things to me. & He says he wants to always be with me and he knows we'll end up married and Alot more. I mean hes still makeing jokes -very mild/med mild onesand hes not cuddling on the couch just sitting on the next one kinda thing... then this pops in my head.. when he was saying "Moving is just for personal growth"..well, Ive read through other threads that that's not a good sign. But he's so sincere sounding and why would he lie?im back and forth My friend at work says it being "out of character" for him to cheat is a worthless idea, "it sounds like he wants tail and fade away".. -its so hard b/c theres no one i can talk to that knows him!-That friend just got cheated on and he even said he knows he's biast! Ron talks to me about work alot and mentions the girl from there that he wants to hang out with ..it seems harmless friendship she is married w/ kids too (and ron says hes even talked to that guy and he seems fine with it why cant i be)...but she does come up in conversation everday! (i keep worrying but IM the girl who always hangs with ALL guy friends! am I an ******* or just cautious?) Im under so much stress b/c of having to find new work and time it up with in 2 mths! We ARE planning out the move together. (I gotta say its gonna take every penny for even us to move together and still get some things we have to get) Im the only one whos brought up seperate apts in a couple days but when i did he just said - like no biggy- " you already told me i can if i want...shrug... im not no big deal" . good ! Then when i was watching dane cook / vicous circle talking about one night stands and cheating hahaha i couldnt help thinking ron wants to go get something new... man he's sick of me...it was so obvious from whats been said ... i'm the one wishy washy now i swear! maybe i should just not worry and trust him like i told him i am going to ...but I'm Really freaked out that if Im in another year lease and what if senarios in my head.. my mom loves him but she told me that i should make sure i have a back up plan...barely afford this plan...i Can but then that reminds me of when ron said in an agruement a wk ago " i cant leave you, you dont have any family around here i dont want you to be alone" - now THat statement sounds really bad news so its hard to believe that i should trust such a 180 degree statements like hes giveing and the incredible sex we've been haveing ... i would really love to hear some reponces but i think ill just have to ride it out and hope for the best in the mean time work on myself and plan for us to live together and not really bringit up ill be hyped and **** ok im done So i hope im not erking anyone replying a few times but its been great to clear out some stuff
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