Guest Posted April 29, 2007 Posted April 29, 2007 my soon to be ex-husband has a girlfriend. shes not the reason for our divorce, she just came afterwards. me and him are still friends but is that even possible? i still love him and it hurts that he will never love me again. its true we got married to early and to young, really not knowing each other. we tried counseling but he just gave up and just wanted out. so i just gave up with him. now hes with this girl that i can tell is making him happier than i ever did. our son likes her, which is a good thing. but to know that she is in his life the way i use to is just killing me. hes my best-friend and hes the only family i have, i don't have any other family. how do i do this? how do get over this pain and resentment? im just so depressed and what makes matters worst is i see myself using alcohol to try and ease my pain but it just makes matters worse. when i go out to the bar or club i get get drunk and either (most of the time) i come home alone and cry myself to sleep cuz yet again ive been regacted (can't spell) or am just invisable. or the other happens i go home with a guy and use sex to fill the void. im going down and i don't know how to stop it. Then i feel pathedic cuz im letting a man dictate my feelings. how the hell did i get here?
car2007 Posted May 4, 2007 Posted May 4, 2007 I feel for you. My W and I are going through some tough times that may eventually end in divorce. I have lots of friends but I worry about her. She has a few friends at her church (which I do not attend) but not close friends and her parents are old and live about 5 hours away. They are her only immediate family. She does not go on this board and I think she may be in some denial about our situation, although we talk about our problems quite a bit but neither of us has any solutions. Does anyone out there have some advice for Guest and her feelings of loneliness?
sumdude Posted May 4, 2007 Posted May 4, 2007 I'm going to be a bit tough love here. I feel for you as my wife left me three months ago and we are getting divorced. You have two choices. 1. Wallow in your misery. 2. Take control of your life and take active steps to move on. Seek professional help. Join a divorce support group. Spend time here on this board where people know what you;re going through. Find new freinds! You have to be pro active in your own life. Take the wheel of your bus before it veers off the road. Stop drinking. Take care of your body. Start an excercise program. Excercise helps your body AND your mood. If I hadn't started working out I could have fallen wayy down the dark pit. It helps like you wouldn't believe. Stop all contact with him for a minimum of three weeks to a month. It will get better. The more you talk to him the longer it can take to get off of your love addiction. Your brain reacts to love relationships in similar ways to a drug addiction. You have to go cold turkey and go through the withdrawal. That also means staying away from any love or sexual relationship. Work on yourself, build your self esteem back up because it has taken a huge hit. Trust me there is light at the end of this tunnel. There's nothing wrong with you. Just because this one person has rejected you does not mean there aren't a million others who won't Check out this website. It has great advice. http://www.divorcerecovery101.com/
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