honeybees28 Posted April 29, 2007 Posted April 29, 2007 So I was doing pretty decently with NC with my ex. Its been about 3 weeks of No Contact, 2 months since him breaking up a 3 year relationship. It was a first relationship for both of us. (we are now age 24&25) I just recently unblocked him on AIM, with no intention of communicating. I just didnt want to be so immature. He of course immediately messages me and makes really retarded small talk. I gave three one word answers and then signed off. Today, I decided to use my down time in really poor ways. Ive always had a really bad feeling about a certain girl. Because it always seemed like someone he would be "into".. She goes to school in the same town to where he immediately moved after he dumped me. (3 hours away)... I went to her online photo site and saw very recent pictures of him attending her school functions and taking pictures with her and her other girl friends, etc. IT WAS DISGUSTING. My insides were shaking and my stomach immediately got queasy. 2 months later, and he is being cozy with other people. Its amazing how quickly you are dropped when you are dumped. In my heart I honestly believed he would come back. The reason for the breakup was because of little fights. So this is all really slap in the face. How can you ever trust someone again after something like this? That means if some other guy comes around he could EASILY EASILY do the same thing. Disgusting. I of course want to message the girls (because I am familiar with them) and tell them to back the heck off. Or message my xboyfriend and let him have it. But of course I wouldnt dare. Because I still hope for his return, even though he has been nothing but terrible to me. Stupid me. I hurt so bad today.
norajane Posted April 29, 2007 Posted April 29, 2007 I'm sorry you're hurting. 3 years is a long time to be with someone...it's going to take longer than 2 months to truly heal from your break-up. You're both still young. Making a lifetime commitment at your age is rarely a good idea as you are both going to change so much in the next few years, the next decade, just as you have changed quite a bit in the last 5 years. Don't worry about the future and trusting other men. Just work on getting better now. The future will take care of itself.
Ssheena Posted April 29, 2007 Posted April 29, 2007 I know how you feel. I went to my x's myspace page yesterday and had posted a new picture of himself and it was like getting punched in the stomach and all of sudden brought up all those old feelings. Just chalk it up to a bad mistake (checking on them) and keep going forward. I think it's normal to feel the way you do - I would want to tell those girls to get away from him too, but he's not with you anymore (and that, my dear, is his total loss!). I'm sorry you had a bad day. It's ok. Just keep telling yourself it's his loss and he will never find another girl like you.
LucreziaBorgia Posted April 29, 2007 Posted April 29, 2007 1. I of course want to message the girls (because I am familiar with them) and tell them to back the heck off. 2. Or message my xboyfriend and let him have it. 1. Please don't go this route. These girls aren't doing anything wrong, and they aren't preventing your boyfriend from coming back to you. Your ex has put himself out there as free and available, and he is choosing not to come back to you. These girls have nothing to do with it. I can understand why you would want to see them as obstacles, but they simply aren't. The hard truth is that your ex isn't coming back to you - not because of other girls - but because he doesn't want to. 2. Let him have it for what? What is he doing that is wrong, really? What is doing that you should 'give it to him'? You and he are broken up, and have been for two months. He is doing what people who break up with their SO's do: they move on, and form new relationships. Refusing to come back to you is sad for you, but it isn't 'bad' or 'wrong' regardless of how long you were together. It is simply a sad fact of breaking up. He moved on. While it is painful for you, there is nothing 'wrong' with that. That means if some other guy comes around he could EASILY EASILY do the same thing. I wouldn't suggest even thinking about dating until you get this ex out of your system. Until you do, it will poison every other relationship for you in this way.
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