Finally started the divorce process

[Cardinal64]

Hi again all.

 

Well today was the day that we started the the divorce process btw my "loving wife" and I. Just want to get this all over with asap. I've had enough stress to last me a lifetime .

 

Still. it does hurt realizing that now its for real . The months of separation and estrangement from my wife - all that - has lead to where we are now.

 

My wife was "so kind" to let me know today that since our 6 year-old son - our only child - has been asking her repeatedly for a little brother or sister - she thinks she would like to have a second child now. Which is all well and nice - considering that she kept nagging me after our son was born - how she would have loved to have a second child but due to our finances we couldn't. Of course the blame fell entirely on me.

 

Now - after we have separated and are in the process of divorcing - she decides that she wants another child. Wonderful. Of course she also advised me that she wants to choose a guy and then get pregnant.

So apparently - all this time - it wasn't that it was our financial circumstances that was preventing her from having another child - which I would have been all for by the way - it was that she didn't want me to be the father. To say it felt like a slap in the face would be an understatement. Guess her cheating was not enough to hurt me in such a profound way that I eventually had to move out of the house.

 

All I can say is the sooner I'm free of this bitch the better. My only concern now is the well-being of my son. He means everything to me.

 

Anyway thanks for reading my post.

[Gunny376]

Wish I could say it would get better, but before its all said and done it may be get a little rougher before the ink is dry on the D papers. But, hang in there. There is a life after divorce ~ and as Lady Jane has said before its the end of your marriage not the end of your life.

 

From the sounds of it ~ you're going to be better off. One thing I don't miss is all the stress, arguing, wondering where my "wife" was and with. This all went down back in the day before the internet and LS and other vast sources of information.

 

Its going to take some time and you're going to have to work at it, and believe it or not you're going to have to learn how to be single again. You need to understand that you've become addicted to the relationship with your wife, and to a certain degree you've been instionalized by the instition of marriage. You're like a crack addict come down and off the drug.

 

Some people allow their problems and pressures to control their lives. Whether they live under the circumstances or above them has nothing to do with the troubles themselves but how they view them.

 

Those who live under their circumstances see every calamity as a catastroph. The choose to be victims: they whine, complain and carry on.

 

Those who live above their circumstances are not in denial. They simply choose to see these times as hairpin curves on the road of life that will soon straighten out.

 

While you live and breath on Planet Earth, you will experience troubles and pressures from time to time and in varying degrees. It doesn't mean matter how wealthy, educated, noble, or good you are. Life cannot be sepearted from period of adversity. Here are some basic steps to help you gain control of your circumstances:

 

Choose Joy: One thing that distinguishes your from the animal kingdom is your ability to control your attitude. You choose your thoughts, so for today ~ choose joy.

 

Smile On Purpose: Regardless of how you are feeling, greet the next person you see (even if its a family member) with a smile and sincere pleasntry such as, "Isn't this a wonderful day"

 

Don't Dwell On Your Problems: Refuse to worry unless you have a pencil and paper in front of you. With those tools in hand, your worrying automatically becomes a planning session. Write down creative and positive ideas.

 

Don't Be Fooled By Disguises: Your troubles are brilliant opportunties disguised as impossible situations. Those that recognize this truth are experts at turning lemons into lemonade.

 

What you can do matters much more than what you can't. Focus on getting through the mess or if that's not going away, find a way each day to perserver joyfully.

 

Your greatness will never be measured by wealth nor position but what it takes to make you quit. That's why you must never give up! No matter what.

 

Mary Hunt ~ Debt Proof Living

 

"I get knocked down! I get up again! They're never going to keep me down!"

[Cardinal64]

Thanks Gunny376 - your words really showed me that there is hope.

It ain't easy going through this divorce mess - but I'll survive and be a better man for it.

[silentcharon]

What a horrible thing for your stbx wife to say that. It will get better, keep posting here if you need to