Icantletgo Posted April 28, 2007 Posted April 28, 2007 So i let my ex come over last night. I practiced nc for 8 days. it was brief: he told me how hurt he was that i didn't call him for his birthday. he waited up till 2 to see if i would call. he didn't do anything for his bday cause he waited for me to call him. I kinda assumed he went out with his family and new girl (guilty). He also had a broken hand cause he was so angry at himself for losing me. Apparently the new girl is 19, immature, and is a liar. He told me losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. He said he's not begging me back but he wants me to know that he's gonna try to show me he loves me. He said he's going to get transfered to another branch of his company so he doesn't have to work with THAT girl. He even cried. I looked at him coldly and I said "you always lie to me. you always come back telling me you love me but you never show me. I'm not going to believe you until I see you have changed. So leave me alone until then". I walked him out. And that was it. I think i'm stronger. I would have fallen into his traps and cried with him. But last night, I just looked at him with pity and disgust.
2ndIINone Posted April 28, 2007 Posted April 28, 2007 I'm not going to believe you until I see you have changed. So leave me alone until then". Couldn't say... 'take a hike!' huh? Correct me if I'm wrong, but, didn't he cheat on you? What lesson will he learn if you tell him to 'prove his love for you'???? That's doesn't sound like ..'get lost' to me.
Trialbyfire Posted April 28, 2007 Posted April 28, 2007 I think i'm stronger. I would have fallen into his traps and cried with him. But last night, I just looked at him with pity and disgust. No kidding.... Sometimes it takes some distance to see who that person really is. For every action there needs to be a consequence. In the past, there were no consequences but now, you've defined them and held firm. I don't know if he will ever change but if you do take him back one day, these hard boundaries have to be respected by him.
2ndIINone Posted April 28, 2007 Posted April 28, 2007 TBF - don't you think she DID fall for his trap??? Afterall, she open up the door again with her line of .... I'm not going to believe you until I see you have changed. Basically, letting him off the hook for his mishaps and giving him the opportunity to come back.
Author Icantletgo Posted April 28, 2007 Author Posted April 28, 2007 The thing is: normally I would have taken him back, he would have spent the night, i would have cried etc etc. But I don't trust him and I never will. I'm not going to go through life checking his phone or emails when he isn't around, paranoid he'll meet someone or paranoid he's lying to me. I can either fix a broken past or look forward into a unknown future. I choose to look forward. He can do all he wants (and I just wanna see what he will do) but the truth is...I could barely hug him goodbye last night. I wanted to vomit. I didn't want to touch him or anything.
Trialbyfire Posted April 28, 2007 Posted April 28, 2007 Basically, letting him off the hook for his mishaps and giving him the opportunity to come back. Yes and no. It depends on how she handles him...
2ndIINone Posted April 28, 2007 Posted April 28, 2007 should've said..... "kiss my @ss!.... cause I'm done with you!"
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