basil Posted April 28, 2007 Posted April 28, 2007 I've been married to my husband for 8 years and have been with him for a total of 16 years. We are both in our early 30s. For the last 3 years, our sex life has been pretty non-existent. Prior to that, he was very sexual and always wanted it. Now, the last time we had sex was 6 months ago. Of course I am very concerned since we do not have children and we are still fairly young. Our lack of sex used to bother me and I've tried in the past to interest him in sex, but he reacted very defensively to the point that I gave up. I confronted him about this issue and he confessed to me that he is embarrassed about his erectile dysfunction. I told him that we would work on it together somehow. To be quite honest, I do harbor some resentment and hurt from his earlier reactions and still confused about how this can happen to us given our age and situation. Yes, I do wonder if something is wrong with me! Unfortunately, I've become apathetic about the lack of sex and feel we have emotionally distanced ourselves. We do have a good companionship and frequently hold hands, though I feel we do lack emotional and physical intimacy. I think part of the problem may be his relationship with his female cousin. He is quite close to her given that they grew up together, share the same family gatherings, and confide in each other on family issues. They often call each other on the phone several times a day and often plan dinners and activities together usually involving me and her boyfriend. I'm not threatened by her presence but concerned about their closeness. How do I even approach my husband about this without sounding like an unreasonable and jealous wife? I did so once before a long time ago when we were dating and we almost broke up because of it. He said I was being unreasonable and I did feel silly about it afterwards. Since then, she and I have not fully gotten along and I don't feel I can completely trust her. She has commitment issues and refuses to marry her boyfriend of 7 years. Sorry for the long post...I'm a bit confused by my situation and not sure what I should do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Darth Vader Posted April 28, 2007 Posted April 28, 2007 You have heard of the term, kissing cousins? They may have been sexual a long time before you two met. They may still be. Install a keylogger.
outofdarkness Posted April 28, 2007 Posted April 28, 2007 You have heard of the term, kissing cousins? They may have been sexual a long time before you two met. They may still be. Install a keylogger. Yes, I agree w/ this...Something is not right. The keylogger idea is a great one. If nothing is going on, then great...You would then have the peace of mind of at least knowing for sure. I don't know about the ED thing...It could be legit, but it could be b/c he's cheating and there's nothing left for you..A's; either EA or PA take away from the M is every sense of the word..The MP Is putting all of his feelings, physical needs with OW..cousin or not.
Frances Posted April 28, 2007 Posted April 28, 2007 Sounds like he does not recognize that what he has with the cousin is an EA. He needs to go for help in the sex dept. He is very young to have a problem like that. It maybe that he is allowing someone else take from your relationship and not putting the effort into yours and this would have an effect on the sex side. You need to work out what is best for you. You are young and can start over again after you deal with the pain if you have to break up. What are you prepared to put up with to stay in this marriage?
Guest Posted May 3, 2007 Posted May 3, 2007 are you kidding me?! it's his cousin! are you that insecure that you don't believe that a man can have a close relationship with his female cousin without it being sexual?! that is ridiculous to me! i grew up with 3 male cousins who i am extremely close to and i consider them my best friends and i tell them everything. it doesn't mean that i want to have sex with them! and just because she has not committed to her bf of 7 years, does that give you the right to judge her? maybe she's just not ready for that. it seems like you're just looking for someone else to blame your relationship problems on.
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