pelagicsands Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 Why? They're my notches on the bedpost...per se... You don't want to make what you're up to too obvious. Trust me. Don't make me snap your bedpost.
jcster Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 ...many men just want looks and many women want "the whole package". I really think that's an over-generalization. Men and women that conform to that statement are usually either desperately insecure or just desperate in general. Guys pick women solely by their looks when they care only about how they look to other guys - it's an ego thing. Women pick guys based upon "the whole package" when they are desperate for the "white picket fence" idiocy they've been spoonfed from birth. Either way, it's a crappy way to pick a partner and whenever I run into people with this type of criteria - I feel pretty sorry for them.
Trialbyfire Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 You don't want to make what you're up to too obvious. Trust me. Don't make me snap your bedpost. Don't you believe in being direct? If someone is happy being roadkill, why dissuade them?
pelagicsands Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 Guys pick women solely by their looks I don't know about everyone else, but you've convinced me. Sounds completely reasonable. What I don't get is the 10% of the time I'm supposed to be thinking of something other than sex. That's ridiculous. Well, I suppose there could be some dream I have about cars that I don't remember. That must be it.
Trialbyfire Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 I really think that's an over-generalization. Men and women that conform to that statement are usually either desperately insecure or just desperate in general. Guys pick women solely by their looks when they care only about how they look to other guys - it's an ego thing. Women pick guys based upon "the whole package" when they are desperate for the "white picket fence" idiocy they've been spoonfed from birth. Either way, it's a crappy way to pick a partner and whenever I run into people with this type of criteria - I feel pretty sorry for them. I want "the whole package" and will not settle for less. I want a partner I can like and love. Anything less would bore the crap out of me in a month or less. I consider myself realistic instead of brainwashed. I do know it's possible due to what my parents and grandparents have.
SouthernT Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 I don't agree with that at all....many men just want looks and many women want "the whole package". I don't agree with this at all because the good looking girls are the ones that are skipped over. And a woman wants to know that the "whole package" is there before she even decides whether or not she will date a guy and then it is at this point she will do so. However, after she accepts his advances, SHE is the one that is rejected because a guy is then starts dating her and decides "somethings missing here" So, because this situation happens time and time again, I feel that MEN are the ones running the show.
pelagicsands Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 Don't you believe in being direct? If someone is happy being roadkill, why dissuade them? Dissuade... say that for me again.
Trialbyfire Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 Dissuade... say that for me again. Dissuade Dissuade Dissuade Dissuade Dissuade Dissuade Dissuade Dissuade Dissuade Dissuade Your needs have now been met tenfold...
LoveLace Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 whichwayup is right. Women are definitely thinking about the future before men! Men are much more about living for the moment; plus, according to human anatomy and physiology, a man doesn't share the woman's ability to focus on much more than 1 thing at a time. In the beginning it is usually the man pursuing, putting himself out there as an option for the woman. But in time, (which could be days, months, or years) when it's too late, the man might start to question what he wants for himself, etc. He is bored now because the challenge of getting her is long over. He desires excitement and craves facing a new challenge because his ego is very valuable to him, and he must feed it! In this aspect, women might get to "make the choice" but then it's a lot of work to keep the guy happy for as long as we want to. Then the man realizes he wants to be the one to choose. I realize this can go either way with gender. But it's usually as I described above. And some men are turned off by being pursued too much, after a while it's even too late for the woman to try new things and get the spark back. Once a guy makes up his mind, good luck changing it. Women are more likely to change their minds or try other ideas, etc, which explains why we should be the ones to pick out of the crop. Men are more likely to stay in a relationship they are bored with or whatever, because they unconsiously are dependent on women emotionally. She nourishes him and takes care of him, so to be without that motherly figure sounds lonely. I've heard of many men who leave and go live with a buddy for a few weeks, and have a blast as a bachelor for a while, only to realize he liked it at home much better. Women are more likely to stay in a relationship because they truly love him. Or maybe "for the kids". They are more likely to leave as soon as they have enough reasons to do so. I think women fear lonliness less than men, although still fear it. Somehow it seems that women are more able to adjust and learn to be happy without the man she lost. More likely to replace him with what she thinks is "better". And the whole thing could start all over! So perhaps when us women are "making the choice"...we're trying not to pick that guy that will get "bored" with us, give up on making us happy, and drive us away. It sucks, but unfortunately to keep a women truly happy, the man can't stop pursuing us once he beats the challenge. He should continue to pursue her as though he still trying to win her over (woman love surprises, remember?) It's what the woman needs in order to feel assured that she is loved and appreciated. I've dated several men who just don't get it. And the more a man can keep it up, the more likely the woman is to return whatever he desires to be happy as well; weather it's cooking dinner for him every night or giving him a BJ.
Author alphamale Posted April 27, 2007 Author Posted April 27, 2007 There's a difference between wanting to bang someone and wanting to date them. i'm using the two terms interchangeably... Either way, it's a crappy way to pick a partner and whenever I run into people with this type of criteria - I feel pretty sorry for them. every study done shows that women look for resources and men look for youth and beauty and childbearing... In the beginning it is usually the man pursuing, putting himself out there as an option for the woman. but LL they can only "pursue" the women that let them pursue....if she's not interested he cannot pursue anything. In the very beginning its the women who indirectly choose a man and LET him pursue them. These women want the man to THINK he's pursuing.
tanbark813 Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 i'm using the two terms interchangeably... Then this is nothing more than a semantic argument and a waste of time/bandwidth.
IpAncA Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 My belief is that women start most romantic relationships with the men of their choosing and men have little say in the matter. I do agree women start them mostly but what about the guy? He can leave anytime he wants. He does have a say in it. I see this two ways. 1.) Guy wants to start one with a girl. He can't unless she wants to. 2.) Girl wants to start one with a guy. She can't unless he wants to. Even though I was the one who was persued to start one, I did have a say just like he did. I chose him like he chose me. Maybe I'm reading your post wrong. Oh well.
tanbark813 Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 1.) Guy wants to start one with a girl. He can't unless she wants to. 2.) Girl wants to start one with a guy. She can't unless he wants to. Yay for people who understand logic.
agnf666 Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 Now imagine if women weren't picky. We would just date any guy. How does that work... Everyone has standards... maybe not standards but preferences. The more guys woman date that are jerks and *******s are just making us women more picky in the long run.
Author alphamale Posted April 27, 2007 Author Posted April 27, 2007 I do agree women start them mostly but what about the guy? He can leave anytime he wants. we're just talking about the very initial stage of courting...who picks whom? guys asks girl out, she says yes or no. who has final say in that scenario?
Pyro Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 I do agree women start them mostly but what about the guy? He can leave anytime he wants. He does have a say in it. I see this two ways. 1.) Guy wants to start one with a girl. He can't unless she wants to. 2.) Girl wants to start one with a guy. She can't unless he wants to. Even though I was the one who was persued to start one, I did have a say just like he did. I chose him like he chose me. Maybe I'm reading your post wrong. Oh well. Sounds right, but GENERALLY speaking, it seems that guys are not as picky as girls when looking for a relationship. A lot of guys will go for a girl as long as she is good looking, but women look for more then just the looks, but there are always the exceptions.
Pyro Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 we're just talking about the very initial stage of courting...who picks whom? guys asks girl out, she says yes or no. who has final say in that scenario? It can work the opposite way as well.....
tanbark813 Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 guys asks girl out, she says yes or no. who has final say in that scenario? The girl. Who chose to ask her out? The guy. Crack open that "Logic for Beginners" book anytime, big guy.
IpAncA Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 we're just talking about the very initial stage of courting...who picks whom? guys asks girl out, she says yes or no. who has final say in that scenario? The girl would. That goes the other way if girl asks guy.
Author alphamale Posted April 27, 2007 Author Posted April 27, 2007 The girl would. That goes the other way if girl asks guy. but who is expected to do the asking out? I don't see too many girls running around asking men out on a date. The only girls who do that are the skanks.
Pyro Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 The girl would. That goes the other way if girl asks guy. This answers the original question of the thread. This was such a difficult conclusion to come to.
IpAncA Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 but who is expected to do the asking out? I don't see too many girls running around asking men out on a date. The only girls who do that are the skanks. Oh thanks a pant load.
burning 4 revenge Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 Women have more power in the initial stages, but men have given it to them. If men weren't such sluts we'd have much more baragaining power, but a woman without much to recommend can sleep with a much better guy just because he wants something wet and living to squirt in. This gives women the power to choose the first romantic encounters and without the first step men can't get anyhwere.
Pyro Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 Oh thanks a pant load. You should know by now that most of what he says is generalizing. We know better.
Author alphamale Posted April 27, 2007 Author Posted April 27, 2007 Women have more power in the initial stages, but men have given it to them. Yes B4R this is what i'm talking about... just because he wants something wet and living to squirt in. would a warmed cantaloupe be considered "living"?
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