Magnatolia Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 Ladies, I want to become more confident around women, friendshiup or more. But I must stress I am not specifically looking for a gf, if something came up I'd consider it. I find it extremely hard to be friendly to anyone that I don't have a particular reason to talk to them. If it's just a random person I totally choke. Can't even smile at them if our eyes meet (occasionally I give a quick but weak smile, usually as I'm walking past though so its too late). Bit like a deer in headlights can't move, if our eyes meet my face just freezes, no smile. My problem isn't just attracting women. It's also making friends as I hardly get out on the weekends. I have one or two decent friends, the rest of the ppl I know don't have any free time. I have loads of acquaintances but nobody who I can rely on for some fun on the weekend. And I hate it when workmates tell me about their great weekend and then I tell them I had a 'relaxing' weekend. I think my biggest problem is, due to my past I have built up walls to block emotion from coming in or out. This is why I can't show friendliness when I catch someone's eye (obviously this makes me seem a little strange). It's like, as soon as I see a person who I might want to meet, say hello or smile at, the brain kicks in and automatically sets up these barriers that literally stop me in my tracks. The brain takes away the controls from me. Yet one time I sat down on the train and happened to catch eyes with a girl. Automatically I said 'hey', because the eye contact happened before the brain had a chance to register. And the patterns and beliefs that created these barriers have been with me for so damn long that my mind has basically meshed them into my personality, making it extremely hard to get rid of them. Even sitting there telling myself that I'm going to do it, or trying to convince my mind that she could actually be interested, these just seem to fuel the bad patterns and make them stronger Any advice you can offer. I'm not interested in counselling however if there is some kind of online computer counselling I would be willing to have a look at that. Just something, anything to weaken these bad patterns and beliefs. So any advice would be fantastic. Thanks. Btw, I put this in the friendship section as my ultimate goal is be more friendly and approachable rather than trying to get a girlfriend.
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