Mary3 Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 There is overwieght girl at work and she told me the reason she is fat is because *pure stress* adds pounds. She says she has no fears, no addictions ( how about food addiction ? ) Its the heart attack zone for her being like 5 foot 2 and 250 lbs. So is it true that * stress alone * could make her fat ?
Star Gazer Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 Simply put, her "stress excuse" is just another way of saying "I feel bad about myself, have no self-esteem, and I fill the hole in my heart with food." Very few people have an actual medical condition which causes such severe weight gain (SEVERE thyroid problem, for example). It's a very deep and personal problem for her, one that she likely hasn't really addressed. She explains to you that "stress" causes her to gain weight as a defense mechanism, because she's certain you're looking at her...well...just as you are. It's sad, really. I go back and forth between fury and sadness when I see extremely overweight people.
dahling Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 It could just be a defense mechanism but some people do eat a lot because they're stressed
Author Mary3 Posted April 27, 2007 Author Posted April 27, 2007 Well I knew a guy who had a 35 BMI and he ate all the rolls in the basket and big portions plus had eaten fast food for breakfast and lunch ! He was 5 ' 10 and 250 lbs. Another person I know wieghs 300 pounds and had 4 burgers on his plate...
RecordProducer Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 You know, I thought until very recently that all this could be worked out, but why? We're all going to die anyway. And I don't mean from the life-is-pointless pessimistic viewpoint, but simply this life is too short to care so much about everything. At some points in life I was obsessed with getting rid of my cellulite, but since I stopped caring about it, I feel much happier. I don't go to the gym anymore. I don't care if I die sooner. I'll die from all the stress and emotional crap, not because my bones will be weak. Stress is the worst thing, because it ruins your happiness. If you look deep down into things, you'll see how ridiculous everything is. Everything, except being happy. People being restricted by social norms, framed by their environment, pursuing money, obsessing with who thinks what, dreaming about a perfect body... that's ALL so unimportant. So senseless and pointless. Do you realize that your co-worker and you and me will not be young some day, that we might get sick or we simply might be carefree and live 95 years? At the end of the story, does it really matter whether you're fat or beautiful, smart or dumb, married or single...? Live for the moment. All our suffering comes from the past (traumas, bad memories, consequences of stress, broken hopes, suffocated expectations, disappointments..) and the future (fears, obsessions with healthy living, ambitions, dreams that we can't achieve...). If you live for the moment, you'll be happy until something bad happens to you. But then if you view the bad event as something that also doesn't have much meaning, you won't be so unhappy; plus you'll have a happy life behind you. Does it really matter if you're going to live 50 or 70 or 90 years? You think your co-worker will say one day "Oh, crap! I died and I had so many plans for this year"?
Trialbyfire Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 Whoah RP, very fatalistic. While I agree to an extent, keep in mind that your health affects your living for the now. Keeping fit helps you feel good.
PWSX3 Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 Whoah RP, very fatalistic. While I agree to an extent, keep in mind that your health affects your living for the now. Keeping fit helps you feel good. I have to agree, since I've lost my weight it really makes you feel better about yourself, you are able to do more things and I feel you are able to enjoy doing things you wouldn't have done because of the weight. I also agree with RP, you have to be happy with who you are. If your co-worker is happy being overweight, whether she is healthy or not that is the only thing that matters. My W is overweight & I used to get after her all the time & I have just excepted that there is nothing I can do about it and I need to love her for who she is......
josie54 Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 I think if you watch very overweight people eating habits you will see they eat large amounts...and some blame it on everything but the food they are shoving down their throats. I understand your frustration. I often find myself thinking the same thing when I see an obese person: "Why can't they just drop the soda, or order pasta with the tomato sauce rather than the cream sauce? They could lose weight if they'd just not put so much butter on their bread, or if they'd take walk." Etc. BUT I also try to remain sympathetic. I come from an obese family and I've struggled to keep my own weight below 150. I see how my family has mental battles with food every day, mental battles that I only slightly understand. I'd say, change the subject when you hear your co-worker use "stress" as a reason for her weight gain. When she says "stress," she's actually referring to a host of emotionally charged issues that she's dealing with inside that probably make it incredibly hard for her to let go of food as a comfort and coping tool. Maybe ask her to take a quick 15-minute walk with you "to walk off the stress," without judgment or reference to weight or food. Maybe those quick walks can turn into a 3x-a-week lunchtime ritual. That might help her temporarily get her mind off the issues that cause her to overeat and move your conversation to more positive things.
zeldazelda Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 I understand your frustration. I often find myself thinking the same thing when I see an obese person: "Why can't they just drop the soda, or order pasta with the tomato sauce rather than the cream sauce? They could lose weight if they'd just not put so much butter on their bread, or if they'd take walk." Etc. BUT I also try to remain sympathetic. ha. i know how you feel. i feel the same way when i see or hear someone being awfully judgmental about strangers who mean nothing to them, and i think "why can't they just stop looking and judging people they don't know? it's so very unhealthy to be so worried about things that don't concern you, you could cut your stress level and heart rate in half simply by minding your own business!" still, i try to be sympathetic too, though, since changing one's weight is not any easier than changing any other habit.
Jinxx Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 So is it true that * stress alone * could make her fat ? No -- that is an excuse. She probably eats more due to the stress in her life. Stress alone does not cause someone to get fat. Aside from the stress it sounds like she has a serious food addiction.
quankanne Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 concern is good, but ultimately, it's up to the person with the problem to decide that it's time to change their lifestyle. So, until your co-worker stops identifying "stress" as the reason for her girth, there's really no use fretting over her eating habits or lack of exercise, no matter how angry or grossed out you are by it. It's not YOUR life, but HERS to worry about ...
directx Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 She sounds like an emotional eater. She doesn't realize how much she is eating I bet. Print out a 2000 calorie diet and she if she is interested in trying that.
Ariadne Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 Okk... There is this girl, that is overweight, that says she eats when she's stressed. I mean, what's the point of this discussion? Ariadne
whichwayisup Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 Aside from the stress it sounds like she has a serious food addiction. And she probably has some depression too, which is altering the way she thinks, feels and handles her life.
Author Mary3 Posted April 27, 2007 Author Posted April 27, 2007 Okk... There is this girl, that is overweight, that says she eats when she's stressed. I mean, what's the point of this discussion? Ariadne No , no , she says she eats normally and does not know why she is fat except she says the stress makes her fat.
Author Mary3 Posted April 27, 2007 Author Posted April 27, 2007 You know, I thought until very recently that all this could be worked out, but why? We're all going to die anyway. And I don't mean from the life-is-pointless pessimistic viewpoint, but simply this life is too short to care so much about everything. At some points in life I was obsessed with getting rid of my cellulite, but since I stopped caring about it, I feel much happier. I don't go to the gym anymore. I don't care if I die sooner. I'll die from all the stress and emotional crap, not because my bones will be weak. Stress is the worst thing, because it ruins your happiness. If you look deep down into things, you'll see how ridiculous everything is. Everything, except being happy. People being restricted by social norms, framed by their environment, pursuing money, obsessing with who thinks what, dreaming about a perfect body... that's ALL so unimportant. So senseless and pointless. Do you realize that your co-worker and you and me will not be young some day, that we might get sick or we simply might be carefree and live 95 years? At the end of the story, does it really matter whether you're fat or beautiful, smart or dumb, married or single...? Live for the moment. All our suffering comes from the past (traumas, bad memories, consequences of stress, broken hopes, suffocated expectations, disappointments..) and the future (fears, obsessions with healthy living, ambitions, dreams that we can't achieve...). If you live for the moment, you'll be happy until something bad happens to you. But then if you view the bad event as something that also doesn't have much meaning, you won't be so unhappy; plus you'll have a happy life behind you. Does it really matter if you're going to live 50 or 70 or 90 years? You think your co-worker will say one day "Oh, crap! I died and I had so many plans for this year"? I DO live in the moment . I brush off most things so I can continue to be happy. But to say that she is healthy would not be right. Obesity is a serious condition that will ultimately ( if not controlled ) kill her with diabetes and other conditions. Sure a fat person can say "Hey I accept that I am fat and I love myself " Thats great that they have accepted their size 22 jeans but its a medical condition and will ultimately errode their health and their lives
Author Mary3 Posted April 27, 2007 Author Posted April 27, 2007 I understand your frustration. I often find myself thinking the same thing when I see an obese person: "Why can't they just drop the soda, or order pasta with the tomato sauce rather than the cream sauce? They could lose weight if they'd just not put so much butter on their bread, or if they'd take walk." Etc. BUT I also try to remain sympathetic. I come from an obese family and I've struggled to keep my own weight below 150. I see how my family has mental battles with food every day, mental battles that I only slightly understand. I'd say, change the subject when you hear your co-worker use "stress" as a reason for her weight gain. When she says "stress," she's actually referring to a host of emotionally charged issues that she's dealing with inside that probably make it incredibly hard for her to let go of food as a comfort and coping tool. Maybe ask her to take a quick 15-minute walk with you "to walk off the stress," without judgment or reference to weight or food. Maybe those quick walks can turn into a 3x-a-week lunchtime ritual. That might help her temporarily get her mind off the issues that cause her to overeat and move your conversation to more positive things. Hey ! Speaking of which a co worker and I walked 2 miles around the hotel where I work ( I am small petite size 3 ) and when we did this walk for 2 months she lost 10 lbs ! I lost nothing , lol. For me a reduction in food intake is the way I would lose weight but I only weigh 125 lbs so small frame. We just did it to see what would happen. So she lost 10 lbs. She felt awesome. I think WALKING is the secret to ALL weight loss ( except mine , lol ) If you walk alot and use that instead of escalators and busses I think you will see results
LucreziaBorgia Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 She knows why she is overweight. She just doesn't want to give up her eating habits and lifestyle. Admitting why she is overweight would be too close of a step toward giving up how she is living. Its easier to say "I don't know" or find something else to blame than it is to say "I do know" and then proceed to make the necessary changes. That said, yes - stress can cause an accumulation of belly fat. Cortisol is to blame for that. However, it can't be said to be the 'only' reason someone is overweight. Their lifestyle contributes greatly.
allina Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 Okay and you are posting this about her why? To talk about her behind her back in yet another way? To make yourself feel better by putting her down?
Author Mary3 Posted April 27, 2007 Author Posted April 27, 2007 ha. i know how you feel. i feel the same way when i see or hear someone being awfully judgmental about strangers who mean nothing to them, and i think "why can't they just stop looking and judging people they don't know? it's so very unhealthy to be so worried about things that don't concern you, you could cut your stress level and heart rate in half simply by minding your own business!" still, i try to be sympathetic too, though, since changing one's weight is not any easier than changing any other habit. I want you to know I have never discussed her weight with her first. She talked about it with me. She told me she bought a book , she told me she wanted to lose weight. MY question was once again : Can stress be the sole cause for weight gain ? According to her she was fat because of stress but she said she ate normally . She said that while she ate chicken fingers , pizza , cake , and ect. That was my original question .
Star Gazer Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 I understand your frustration. I often find myself thinking the same thing when I see an obese person: "Why can't they just drop the soda, or order pasta with the tomato sauce rather than the cream sauce? They could lose weight if they'd just not put so much butter on their bread, or if they'd take walk." Etc. BUT I also try to remain sympathetic. I come from an obese family and I've struggled to keep my own weight below 150. I see how my family has mental battles with food every day, mental battles that I only slightly understand. I'd say, change the subject when you hear your co-worker use "stress" as a reason for her weight gain. When she says "stress," she's actually referring to a host of emotionally charged issues that she's dealing with inside that probably make it incredibly hard for her to let go of food as a comfort and coping tool. Maybe ask her to take a quick 15-minute walk with you "to walk off the stress," without judgment or reference to weight or food. Maybe those quick walks can turn into a 3x-a-week lunchtime ritual. That might help her temporarily get her mind off the issues that cause her to overeat and move your conversation to more positive things. Great post and suggestion.
Author Mary3 Posted April 27, 2007 Author Posted April 27, 2007 Okay and you are posting this about her why? To talk about her behind her back in yet another way? To make yourself feel better by putting her down? This is the weight forum and I stand by my original question. Do you remember what that question is ??
allina Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 This is the weight forum and I stand by my original question. Do you remember what that question is ?? Yes I do remember, why wouldn't I? However I don't buy it, and I can tell by the way you worded the post. I think you wanted to call her obese and made a point to list the foods, I think you did this to put her down not because you had a great interest in how stress relates to weight.
Author Mary3 Posted April 27, 2007 Author Posted April 27, 2007 Yes I do remember, why wouldn't I? However I don't buy it, and I can tell by the way you worded the post. I think you wanted to call her obese and made a point to list the foods, I think you did this to put her down not because you had a great interest in how stress relates to weight. Since this is a weight forum I could have entitled it " Girl at Work " ? Right ?
allina Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 Since this is a weight forum I could have entitled it " Girl at Work " ? Right ? I'm not going to argue and I'm not trying to attack you, you are free to post whatever you want, I was just stating an opinion. I believe what I said to be true but you can disregard it, it's just another opinion.
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