Want to take a break--how to bring it up?

[Chamari]

I'm 20, in college and have been dating (for six months) an amazing guy that I love. However, (and I know some of you will probably get after me for this) as we're both going to be in different states for the next four months I'd like to take a break in our relationship. He's the only guy that I've actually dated, ever, and so while I do love him I'd like to meet some other people and see how much of my loving him has to do with him being the first guy to show me some real attention and such. Maybe part of it is that I know that my guy is serious and that if we keep dating he'll propose at some point in the future. I'm against divorce (although there are obviously times when it's necessary) so I want to be sure that I really truly honestly love the guy I marry and without having anything to compare it to I just don't know. I know that I love him, but I'm not sure that I'm as IN love with him as he deserves.

 

Anyways, I just feel like I need a break and since we'll be in seperate states it seems like a good time to me. I need some time to think and work on being my own person 'cause I feel like the past months that we've been dating I've kind of pulled away from my friends--nothing drastic, just haven't spent much time with them, haven't met many new people, etc.--because I spend so much time with him. I love being with him and doing things with him but I'm starting to feel kind of stifled. Today I was thinking that it'd be kind of nice to have a day without him around but then he showed up and instantly all I want to do is spend time with him.

 

So that's the situation, the problem with taking a break is that when we talked about briefly about summer he flat out said that he thought taking breaks was stupid so I KNOW that he's not going to like the idea. I feel kind of guilty about bring it up too because in my head I'd be free for the summer maybe date a guy or two--or maybe not, I'm not going to push it--and then we could see where we were at when we got back to school in the fall. So in a sense, yes, he'd be on the back burner but that's honestly not my intent. I really feel like if we are going to have a strong relationship I need to get rid of my doubts now and I feel like just going on a few casual dates with other people would help a LOT with helping me sort out where my feelings are really at. I know, I'm a mess and I'm probably contradicting myself a bit--trust me, I know it's a mess. That's why I'm posting on here looking for advice. So, comments please?

[MikeC]

Actually, a break is good sometimes.

 

I understand your situation all too well. Was in it myself. Talk to him about the break. If he disagrees, you'll have to decide what to do from there. Do what makes YOU happy.