hurting_in_nw Posted April 26, 2007 Posted April 26, 2007 I'm trying not to be vengeful over what my STBXW has done to me, but damn, it really gets my goat knowing that her OM knew she was married but pursued her anyway. Just wondering how others have dealt with this, particularly if the WS decided to continue a relationship with the OM/OW.
Impudent Oyster Posted April 26, 2007 Posted April 26, 2007 I never sought or got revenge of my own, I figured being left high and dry, looking like a fool and having the whole town whisper about your reputation as a slut was painful enough...but I have heard some creative stories that I'll share. One BS sent postcards to OW's place of business telling her to stop sleeping with married men..naturally, since it's a postcard everyone in the office from the mailroom on up got to read it. One BS signed the OM up for every Gay Porn magazine and website he could find...many were sent to his place of business. I know I've heard of more, when I think of them I'll post.
whichwayisup Posted April 26, 2007 Posted April 26, 2007 I think if the OM/OW is married, the betrayed spouse should go ahead and tell the OP's spouse. 1)IT will stop or slow down the affair. By exposing it, part of the excitement of sneaking around is gone. 2)OM/OW gets to feel and suffer the consquences, just like the cheating spouse does.
pricillia Posted April 26, 2007 Posted April 26, 2007 Why seek revenge... you know sometimes the best revenge is none at all. Look at the Virginia Tech shootings... I don't believe in revenge. You should not let the hurt take over. OP I know that you are hurting but this thread will do no one any good. I personally hope it gets deleated
Impudent Oyster Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 Put the OW/OM on mailing lists, email distribution for STD's, again, this works best when sent to their place of business for maximum exposure. P.S. I WANT TO MAKE IT CLEAR THAT I'VE NOT DONE ANY OF THIS, though, there was a time when I got quite a chuckle and a feeling of satisfaction from hearing that others did this...oh what the hell, I still do...
pricillia Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 Put the OW/OM on mailing lists, email distribution for STD's, again, this works best when sent to their place of business for maximum exposure. P.S. I WANT TO MAKE IT CLEAR THAT I'VE NOT DONE ANY OF THIS, though, there was a time when I got quite a chuckle and a feeling of satisfaction from hearing that others did this...oh what the hell, I still do... oh that is just so funny and mature at the same time;)
mopar crazy Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 I never did anything for revenge on WH xOW. She had a f#cked up life enough so there wasn't much more I could do to her. Besides, if I ended trying to seek revenge on her it could of backfired or hurt her innocent children. Her H (x now) tried seeking revenge on her though. He was the one that stopped to see me and told me for a fact they were having an A and had letters, poems, and pictures to proove it. He was trying to get full custody of their child and he had information on her to use against her for full custody. I never find out if he got full custody, I don't think he did, but what she did when she was pregnant she should of lost custody of the child.
LucreziaBorgia Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 The best revenge was one I had no part in. When I was dating a guy a few years back, he cheated on me with my best friend when I went out of town for a work training session. About a year later, she was walking in a park near here with her boyfriend and they were struck by lightning. I remember when her H (yes, she was married, had a boyfriend AND slept with my boyfriend) told me about it. I thought to myself... yep, even G_d hates whores. Yeah, yeah... that was mean to say, I know. My only regret is that I never got a chance to say it to her face. She moved away not long after that, and I never saw or heard from her again.
Art_Critic Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 with her boyfriend and they were struck by lightning. .....I though revenge was a dish best serve cold ?.. hahaha or was smoked ?
reservoirdog1 Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 I never took revenge on any of WXW's OMs. A few years have passed and I don't particularly feel inclined to anymore -- it's not necessary now. That being said... if the opportunity ever lands in my lap to do some damage to OM#2 (the worst offender), I'll probably take it. Something like besmirching his reputation, or keying his car.
Chapter2 Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 What must God think of cheating spouses then? There is a very famous "whore" in the Bible that Jesus asked a crowd of people to throw the first stone at if they were without sin... Jesus loved her. He hates the behavior and loves the person...big difference. Kind of like betrayed and wayward spouses. I realize its far easier to hate the other person but that doesn't make it right. even G_d hates whores
Freedom Now Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 I agree with you Chapter 2. He who is without sin can cast the first stone.
Darth Vader Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 I agree with you Chapter 2. He who is without sin can cast the first stone. This seems to be spoken by cheaters the most, who don't want to take responsibility for their actions. So they hide behind this scripture so they can't be held responsible, what a pathetic ruse.
LucreziaBorgia Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 Well, I was meaning her in particular but it would appear that it was taken as a blanket statment to include all OW, nor was it meant to be particularly serious. No need to pull out the Bible Belt and spank me with it. Perhaps I should clarify. Are all OW whores? No. Do I have room to throw stones? Certainly not. Anyone who has been here a while can attest to that. However... Was that particular OW a whore? Yep, and a slut, and a bitch, and lying backstabbing c*nt as well. Just for being the OW and sleeping with a guy I was dating? Nah.. it goes way, way deeper than just that. There are plenty of other reasons having nothing to do with that. I would say that about her even without that having happened. Let's just leave it at that.
Freedom Now Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 No one said anything about not holding oneself responsible, Darth Vader. However, hatred only hurts the people who hate. Revenge is a bitter victory. I choose to live well instead.
Curmudgeon Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 Just wondering how others have dealt with this, particularly if the WS decided to continue a relationship with the OM/OW. I divorced her and let him have her. I couldn't think of a better revenge.
Freedom Now Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 Touche, Curmudgeon. Give them enough rope and they will hang themselves....
Jinxx Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 Revenge solves nothing, abolutely nothing. But as a former BS I guess you could say the best revenge I had was having full custody of our children. Although the ex-husband is an awesome father -- he missed out big time on quite a bit, something *gasp* he can finally admit to these days. My legally separated husband has been more of a father to my children then he has. Can't say that is exactly revenge but it is what it is and he is the one that has to live with that every day by his own doing. Now.... as XOW -- no revenge. She has no idea of the relationship I shared with her husband, never will. She's not the type that would seek revenge anyway if we were ever found out.
Chapter2 Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 If you think that was a Bible Belt spankin then you've obviously never had one:) I admit the whole "whore" subject is touchy for me because its thrown around so loosely around here. Bringing God into it pushes every button I've got...I'm not a Bible banger, I just realize what He's done for me in spite of any crappy choices I've made. I can attest to the fact that you are a very respectful poster and what you write always makes me stop and think. Thanks for clarifying that you were speaking of one and not all. I appreciate it. Well, I was meaning her in particular but it would appear that it was taken as a blanket statment to include all OW, nor was it meant to be particularly serious. No need to pull out the Bible Belt and spank me with it. Perhaps I should clarify. Are all OW whores? No. Do I have room to throw stones? Certainly not. Anyone who has been here a while can attest to that. However... Was that particular OW a whore? Yep, and a slut, and a bitch, and lying backstabbing c*nt as well. Just for being the OW and sleeping with a guy I was dating? Nah.. it goes way, way deeper than just that. There are plenty of other reasons having nothing to do with that. I would say that about her even without that having happened. Let's just leave it at that.
Curmudgeon Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 Give them enough rope and they will hang themselves.... That worked. But the best part was sticking to the high road, living well and being successful. Unfortunately for her, her husband (she married him before the ink was dry on the final divorce order) was killed in a car accident three and a half years later. She blew through everything she got from me and everything she received after his death. She now has nothing and lives with my youngest son and his wife. Thankfully, I remarried, my wife is very much alive, I'll retire in two or three years and we'll have a very comfortable and worry-free life in retirement, just as we do now.
Trialbyfire Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 I let the OW in my case do herself in by letting her believe that I would make public, some material that she found sensitive. She ran around confessing things first, so the boom couldn't fall. Too bad it was never going to fall. A case of hold up the mirror and see if you like what you see... As for revenge on the ex, we're mid-divorce. Sign the damn papers, arsehole...
Member2 Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 Bringing God into it pushes every button I've got... Why is that?
Darth Vader Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 No one said anything about not holding oneself responsible, Darth Vader. However, hatred only hurts the people who hate. Revenge is a bitter victory. I choose to live well instead. However, living well should include not hurting others in the process of obtaining what we want, but, we can't have everything we want without infringing in upon someone else's life (marriage) as we all know.......
Freedom Now Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 Not all of us want to walk on other's lives to get what we want. My xMM lied about being married. I left HIM. Not everyone is out to destroy a marriage. But, duly noted. I will tell my xMM who is an ordained minister. Perhaps he could learn a thing or two about searching and seeking and destroying.
woe_is_me Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 However, living well should include not hurting others in the process of obtaining what we want, but, we can't have everything we want without infringing in upon someone else's life (marriage) as we all know....... ..just as MM couldn't include me in everything he wanted without infringing on my life could he..
Recommended Posts