Biogirl8 Posted April 26, 2007 Posted April 26, 2007 I don't know what is going on in this situation that I am in. But I would really appreciate some advice...Sorry this is so long, Here it goes: I have been knowing this guy for six months. He goes to another school that is in another state. We first maintained conversation over the phone and it quickly grew into a very spiritual relationship because we are both Christians and he encouraged me to get more into the Bible and change my lifestyle (partying and drinking). He comes and visits me during his breaks. We make out a lot, but he doesn't try to have sex with me because he wants to be a pastor and live his life according to the Bible's teachings. And because I am a virgin. That's how I began to trust him and like him more. Then he went back to school and we still maintained our great friendship. Actually we have grown closer because we talk on the phone a lot and he started telling me how much he likes me and how great I am. But then he told me this story about how his ex-girfriend treated him really bad and broke his heart, so now it will take him a lot to get into another girl like that again. So basically he doesn't want a girlfriend.He also gave me this other reason that he is trying to graduate and establish this career for himself first and then when he is ready for a wife, he will have a girlfriend. I was shocked and hurt because of all the effort he has put in, but I got over it because I realized that I am not in a hurry to be his girlfriend because the friendship is so great. He told me I am his best friend. But I do have feelings for him because I can't stand not talking to him. This is what is really confusing: I told him that I don't want a boyfriend right now, but I am afraid that if we continue making out with this great friendship, I will start to love him and he won't wanna be my boyfriend and he told me not to worry because we are best friends. Then later on I thought about it and told him that I am happy being his best friend and he said to me, "But you don't want more?" I was really confused after that because he said he doesn't want a girlfriend yet. He also get's really jealous when I talk about other guys. Like I told him about one guy that is trying to date me at my school and he looked the guy up on the internet. He aslo always wants to know who I am talking to on the phone if he calls while I am on the phone. But he doesn't wanna be in a relationship. That's why I am so confused. To make things even more confusing, he started telling me he loves me in a casual way, like he would slip it in while we were talking. Then the other night he officially told me he loves me. I don't know how to take that because what does he think he is doing by saying that? He said doesn't want a gf, so I just don't get it at all. The he started telling me how great I am. I recently helped him get a high paying job working for my brother in my area after he graduates, so he will be moving to my area and I am excited but I don't know if he is playing games with my emotions. It seems like its safe because he wants to be near me. He also makes plans that include me in them. Like he wants me to be close with his older sister who lives near me and he wants to come and take me places and buy me things that I need when he moves. My emotions are weird because I don't love him, but I have some feelings for him. I also would be his girlfriend if he asked because I think he is a good guy, but I am also not in a hurry to be. Should I extra cautious by his not wanting a girlfriend just to protect myself? Should I believe that he loves me? Do you think he is trying to protect himself by saying he doesn't need a girlfriend right now? Or could he just be playing with my emotions?
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