No Foolin Posted April 26, 2007 Posted April 26, 2007 I have noticed a disturbing trend over the past few months. Am I just seeing things; or are an increasing amount of guys have trouble with approaching girls, starting some chill chit chat and then closing with a number request? I see a dudes at coffee shops/book stores/clubs (especially clubs) just stand there. It obvious he's interested in the girl, keeps looking at her. Shes even pimping "buying signals". I dont get it. I know its a confidence thing but this is pre-school stuff. Roll up to lass and say 1) hello 2) ask a question (please be relevent gents)/ or a nice light compliment 3) make her laugh 4) says something revealing about you (we all have value) 5) "got to go, nice meeting you, hey can I get your number? Maybe we can hang out sometime." This will work or it won't (works for me ). The point is you gotta TRY. Can I get a witness, am I witnessing the removal of testosterone or just good old risk taking from my gender.....................Holy S**t No Foolin
someone2 Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 After hearing no 257 times in a row, it is hard to say to a guy "You just need to try regardless of the results".
johan Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 You got a point, No Foolin. It's nothing new though. My theory is that people aren't as social as they used to be. If you aren't social, then meeting new people is going to be harder. People work too much, spend too much time on the internet, video games, etc.
garnet Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 This makes me wonder...I have been having this flirtation with my neighbor for awhile now (we live on the same floor in an apartment building). He has left me flowers on my door (as a thank you for loaning him my phone when he was locked out), put a card under my door, and given me numerous little signals like that. I've interested in knowing him better, so when we talk I smile at him, make eye contact, ask him questions, etc. However, the closest he's ever come to suggesting getting together was telling me he'd "love to hear about my trip sometime" when I got back from a vacation. Which leaves me to believe that he just may not be interested enough to ask me out. From what I've heard, if a guy is interested enough, he will ask a girl out, no matter how shy he is. Any input from the guys on this?
D-Lish Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 here's the thing my little chicken puffs... guys don't often GET IT. We as humans don't often get it. Don't assume that just because u feel the signal is obvious,,,that it is. OK- flowers on the doorstep for a thanks means sexual interest. Your subconscious tell you so- so why doubt? HE WANTS TO DATE YOU. Never, never assume that small gestures on our part means they get it... they often ONLY GET the direct approach, so be direct... or ask them to be
garnet Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 Thanks D, that is true I guess. Men are not mind readers any more than we are. The problem is I am a shy girl and maybe somewhat old-fashioned, but I'm not so into the idea of doing the asking...which I guess leaves me in the same place, ALONE!
DanielMadr Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 I have noticed a disturbing trend over the past few months. Am I just seeing things; or are an increasing amount of guys have trouble with approaching girls, starting some chill chit chat and then closing with a number request? I see a dudes at coffee shops/book stores/clubs (especially clubs) just stand there. It obvious he's interested in the girl, keeps looking at her. Shes even pimping "buying signals". I dont get it. I know its a confidence thing but this is pre-school stuff. Roll up to lass and say 1) hello 2) ask a question (please be relevent gents)/ or a nice light compliment 3) make her laugh 4) says something revealing about you (we all have value) 5) "got to go, nice meeting you, hey can I get your number? Maybe we can hang out sometime." This will work or it won't (works for me ). The point is you gotta TRY. Can I get a witness, am I witnessing the removal of testosterone or just good old risk taking from my gender.....................Holy S**t No Foolin Devil's advocate says: For a guy to take a risk (have a balls) to ask girl out, make some conversation, set up a date, live thrugh a date, kiss a girl......etc. is hell of a work. Every single step must be done with precision. Any sign of nervousness, hesitation, weakness or ackwardness and there comes a rejection. This is done under major stress. Any rejection is massive blow to ones ego simply said. Then guys just dont know what to do. Being yourself (comfortable in your skin) is easily said than done. On top of it, when asking out a girl who doesnt know you in a relatively short time needs special skills. Being yourself is just not enough, you have to telegraph fast, that you are decent, confident, charming chap. Then you have massive desinformation campaign. Its very rare when you hear what are the real triggers of attraction for women. And girls are not helping. You can see cold shoulders, pure anger, passivity, games, testing etc. For a guy to be able to chat up girl is important to be Confident, profess self control and have lot of experience. So a guy needs to be mature man or reckless, bold jerk. Its hard to mature in a world where masculinity is opressed instead of being chanelled. Take a minute and imagine you are a guy trying t chat up a girl you really like. You will be sweating only thinking about it, I guarantee you that:D
DanielMadr Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 Thanks D, that is true I guess. Men are not mind readers any more than we are. The problem is I am a shy girl and maybe somewhat old-fashioned, but I'm not so into the idea of doing the asking...which I guess leaves me in the same place, ALONE! Everyone is capable of overcoming their shyness. Its simply s product of fear. Its just more personal and complicated fear than jumping to the deep water. But on the other hand you cant drown. He made a lot of signals. You should at least signal you enjoyed and welcome it. He is playing it safe. Its a little ackward asking out people you meet every other day. Everyone dies alone. You just might to have some fun in the spare time:)
Recommended Posts