annabelle75 Posted April 26, 2007 Posted April 26, 2007 After my ex broke NC this past Sunday night by a phone call and then im’ed on Monday night I was really struggling with not talking to him. I thought maybe if I went on LC it would be OK. And figured as long as I kept it strictly platonic we could possibly still be friends. I had this all figured out in my head and was feeling pretty proud of myself for being so mature and handling it all so well…..until I came home Tuesday night and once again he was online but had himself as Invisible on yahoo messenger so I wouldn’t think he was there. I thought it was odd but let it go. Last night I came home and saw the same thing. I was really annoyed by it because I have left him alone since the break up and I had no idea why he was feeling the need to hide from me. I then decided I would check his Myspace page. I hadn’t looked at it since the break up because I thought it would just make me feel worse. When I went to look him up I discovered that he had deleted me as a friend and put his profile on private. I was in shock. Why would he have done that unless he had something to hide? I got pissed and sent him a nasty email basically telling him everything I hadn’t been able to when he dumped me. I had been in so much shock then I hadn’t been able to really get mad about what he had done. I knew I would probably regret sending it after I did, but I didn’t care. I was so pissed off and hurt by how he treated me. I expected that I would never hear from him again and I was ok with it. About two hours later he turned his yahoo back on and started buzzing me. I finally answered him and he said that he’d just been busy and since we weren’t talking hadn’t been signing into yahoo (even though he has been on yahoo every night for the past two years I have known him). I then asked him about Myspace and he said that he did it last week when I didn’t respond to his email and he thought I had decided to never speak to him again. He then sent me another friend request and I accepted it. After I accepted it I checked his page and sure enough saw the real reason he’d deleted me. On the same day he dumped me a 20 year old little blonde girl that lives near him started leaving comments on his page about how much fun she had with him and his friends that weekend. It felt like a punch to the gut. Suddenly the late night phone call I had received the night before he dumped me telling me how much he missed me made sense. He was calling out of guilt because he’d spent his night with another girl. I really am surprised by all this. I can’t believe I had so much trust for him. I honestly didn’t think he would have done that to me. He continued chatting with me after I know he knew that I had seen his page and acted like nothing was wrong. I told him it was late and I had to go to bed. Although it hurt, I’m glad I know. Knowing that the reason he left me was that he was a no good cheating a**hole, and not because of something I did, helps a bit. And of course of checking out the girls Myspace page it was obvious that she is way out of his league and was probably just flirting with him because he’s a sport caster on the radio for her college. After three days of leaving cute little comments on his page she stopped. I hope he feels like an idiot for a long time to come for dumping me. I’ve washed my hands of him now. He wasn’t good enough for me.
quankanne Posted April 26, 2007 Posted April 26, 2007 as harsh as it was to learn the reason why he left, maybe this will help give the closure you need on the relationship. don't know why people allow themselves to become enticed by things, but bear in mind that not everyone is like this – somewhere, there's a kind and decent man that fate is fixing to send your way, and he'll help you see that your ex was someone to mark time with.
norajane Posted April 26, 2007 Posted April 26, 2007 I'm sorry this happened, but as you said, it will help you move on to realize what kind of guy he really is. Unfortunately, other people are often the reason for a sudden break-up...when it seems like there is no explanation, it's a good bet that someone else suddenly came into the picture.
Author annabelle75 Posted April 26, 2007 Author Posted April 26, 2007 I guess I gave him way too much credit believeing him when he said that there was no one else. I didn't think he was the kind of guy to do that to me. The fact that he dumped me because some cute little girl 11 years younger than me probably just flirted with him for weekend, shows me the kind of man that he is. Although it hurts to know how little I really mattered, I really do feel better knowing why it happened the way it did. I am about 90% sure that some time in the future he is seriously going to regret what he did, but I've already moved on. I won't give him a second chance to break my heart. I'm stronger and smarter than that. He has alot of growing up to do and I won't be around to help him anymore. It's his loss not mine.
Trialbyfire Posted April 26, 2007 Posted April 26, 2007 Sorry to hear about this. If temptation of the new and exciting can override a relationship, my belief is that the caring isn't to the level that it should be or the other person is simply...weak. In either situation, is this the kind of guy you want, someone you're with where you have to watch your back all the time? Better to find out now, rather than in a relationship that's more committed. You now have the opportunity to find someone with some strength of conviction.
Icantletgo Posted April 26, 2007 Posted April 26, 2007 OMG. The same thing happened w/ me and my ex. We are both 24 years old. Went out for 3 years. he eventually left me for a 19 year old ex cheerleader with big knockers. am i hurt? yes. did he call me multiple times? yes. They want something and are going through something right now that is completely selfish and unfair to us. My thought is this: if he wants a young girl with NO education and ambition yet, then fine w/ me...then I can finally find a MAN who is ready for the real world. do yourself a favor. when i started reading all these comments SHE left to him, I almost threw up from jealousy, rage, and disgust. Delete him and don't go back. Don't torture yourself anymore.
2ndIINone Posted April 26, 2007 Posted April 26, 2007 He then sent me another friend request and I accepted it.He deleted you cause he wanted a reaction.... and you gave him one.... therefore, boosting his ego. He resent you a 'friend request' just to see how much he could get away with... you accepted it... basically giving him a slight slap on the wrist for his bad behavior. It's far from over.
Author annabelle75 Posted April 26, 2007 Author Posted April 26, 2007 He deleted you cause he wanted a reaction.... and you gave him one.... therefore, boosting his ego. He resent you a 'friend request' just to see how much he could get away with... you accepted it... basically giving him a slight slap on the wrist for his bad behavior. It's far from over. I have no doubt it is not over as far as he thinks, but for me it is over. Knowing what I know now make sme realize that he isn't even worth my friendship. I don't need some one like that in my life anymore. Also .......... before all that drama went down last night I got a phone call from a very nice guy I originally met about 6 months ago. He asked me out and I said yes. I think we're going to dinner on Saturday. I'm not looking to rebound into anything but I refuse to sit at home one more nightby myself feeling bad about him. Its time to move on.
Author annabelle75 Posted April 30, 2007 Author Posted April 30, 2007 ....... and the story continues. He called me again last night. Wanted to find out if an event he was watching on TV from my home town was live or not. Huh? I told him it was live and then he wanted to chat. I had stuff to do so I talked for a few mintues and then said I had to go. A half hour later I was on my computer and he IM'ed me. I was already talking to some one else, but I answered him in between talking to my "new friend." He was very chatty and although I was polite I didn't contribute much to the conversation. He eventually went to bed and we stopped talking. Today I found out that the trip we had scheduled next month for his birthday (where the non-refundable plane tickets were for) was still on but that he was going alone. They said he had invited some one else to go but it didn't work out. Is it wrong that I take pleasure on knowing that some other girl shot him down and now he is spending his birthday alone? Its been two weeks since he dumped me and I am feeling pretty good. I've bounced back alot better than I have in the past.
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