BohemeRose Posted April 26, 2007 Posted April 26, 2007 Hello all! I've been posting around for awhile now, but I'll post my stats here once more, just so you all know where I'm coming from. I've been with my boyfriend for about a year now, long distance. We haven't physically seen each other since July (many reasons why out previous plans to see each other kept getting debunked...that would be a whole other post on it's own!) and I'm going up to see him in 3 weeks. I live in NJ and he lives in southern Ontario. I love him very much. It physically pains me that it's been so long since we've been together and if I don't get to at least hear from him once a day, I get very upset. The only problem is, we seem to have lost that "spark." And I don't mean we don't love each other anymore, it's just...not as cute and fuzzy? I've never been in an LDR before, and I've never actually been in a relationship of any kind that lasted longer than a few months before. I was just wondering if this is normal, for things to kind of calm down so much when you hit the year mark. I've been attributing it to the fact that we barely see each other in person, but if there's anything anyone can suggest to bring a little excitement back while I can, even when we're apart, I'd appreciate the advice. Thanks again, all!
Poboy Posted April 26, 2007 Posted April 26, 2007 you are right that the extended non meetup has led to the spark going off. im sure it will all be back once you meetup so dont worry about that till then , you can talk with him about what all you two are planning to do and what you are in particular giving out little so much that he gets interested just dont tell him everything and leave some for imagination ( i mean all ) ... that will get things started
thoughtsofhim Posted April 26, 2007 Posted April 26, 2007 I usually go through a down point right before my visits too. I'm not sure why it happens, but I know what you're feeling. I've even doubted so much that I thought I wanted to break up. In the end, all those feelings will vanish. The minute you see him at the airport that spark will be there, I promise. In the meantime...Have you tried talking to him about this? I told my bf, and when I got there... He had plans to take me to the state fair. It was so much fun. We sat on the ferris wheel and looked at the view. At the end of the night he told me how much he wanted to be with me, even though all my doubts had vanished by then it was good to hear it. Maybe if he knows, he could try to help.
Author BohemeRose Posted April 27, 2007 Author Posted April 27, 2007 you are right that the extended non meetup has led to the spark going off. im sure it will all be back once you meetup so dont worry about that I usually go through a down point right before my visits too. I'm not sure why it happens, but I know what you're feeling. I've even doubted so much that I thought I wanted to break up. In the end, all those feelings will vanish. The minute you see him at the airport that spark will be there, I promise. Thanks guys! That's really the spark of hope I needed. I talked to him about it last night and he was actually really shocked I felt that way, but very understanding. He has always been better with showing emotion in person...on the phone he's damn near monotone at times...and he admitted this and promised that he was really excited to see me and that he would show me that when I got up there....in various ways.
catrocks Posted April 28, 2007 Posted April 28, 2007 Hey I have been with my man for almost 3 and a half years.... we have been in a long distance relationship for just over 2 of them. We have been lucky in that the longest we've ever been apart has been 6 months. But I had the exact same thing you're describing that time. In fact, when we first got back to his apartment from the airport I almost felt weird to be kissing him, like he was a friend and it was weird to be physical with him. Anyways it only lasted a few seconds and I haven't had it since. I think that in an LDR, even if you talk every day it's just talking.... like you would with a friend. But I've found that if you try to spice it up every now and then, either by reminiscing about times you were together or talking dirty or whatever, it keeps that spark alive. It's good that you can talk to him about it though and that he understands, it sounds like you guys will have no problems and when you see each other next the spark will definitely be there xx
Recommended Posts