InjuredHeart Posted April 26, 2007 Posted April 26, 2007 Just curious............since i am having difficulty. Do you guys keep checking your cell phones for text messages or voicemails, keep checking your email to see if ex has sent you anything? As much as the NC is needed, i want my ex to feel bad and send some sort of message. Is this normal or am i just crazy? Thanks!
Guest Posted April 26, 2007 Posted April 26, 2007 Perfectly normal. That's why I changed all my numbers and blocked him. It was driving me crazy.
MattNZ Posted April 26, 2007 Posted April 26, 2007 Totally normal - well at least that is what I am going through! I stuffed up rather badly on Tuesday when I was drunk and (I think) ruined any chance of a reconciliation. I have since told myself to go NC to try and make some forward progress. This doesn't stop me from checking my phone 'just in case' she has got in touch. I would imagine that these urges will diminish with time - that old chesnut eh!
Ath Posted April 26, 2007 Posted April 26, 2007 I'm in the same boat.. checking the cell every few hours We sound horrible.. but at least I can relate to you on this. NC may work.. but it seems like nothing more than a way to make any feelings left die.
smookie Posted April 26, 2007 Posted April 26, 2007 I am doing NC and I am so scared to do it just in case the feelings do die, so ya I check my phone and the calls when I get home but so far nothing.... It is something that we want "to make them think" but I think we do more thinking about it because we sare the ones do NC... Hope that makes sence to you
Icantletgo Posted April 26, 2007 Posted April 26, 2007 i do it too. in hopes that he misses me and in hopes that he is regretting his decision. truthis my ex has already moved on so i have to too.
MattNZ Posted April 26, 2007 Posted April 26, 2007 I'm going NC for a bit because I messed up on Tuesday. Long story short, got drunk, and went round her house, peered through the back window and her flatmate saw me. Apolgised to flat mates in a card and bottle of wine. We were on a break and seeing how it went by taking it slowly. So I'm not sure how this affected that! I now need some space to get on my 2 feet as I feel I can't see her just yet as I am very embarrassed by my actions!
Living_For_Me Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 It's very normal mate. I'm trying to do the whole NC thing at the moment. I've been guilty of constantly checking my phone, e-mail and my ex's myspace rather frequently. You just have to have some self control and let those remaining feelings go. It's the only way mate. It's extremely difficult but it's the only way. See if you can stop checking for 1 hour, then 2, then 5 eventually you won't bother.
CaliGuy Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 Just curious............since i am having difficulty. Do you guys keep checking your cell phones for text messages or voicemails, keep checking your email to see if ex has sent you anything? As much as the NC is needed, i want my ex to feel bad and send some sort of message. Is this normal or am i just crazy? Thanks! This is the thing about NC and healing. It's not just NC that allows you to heal but what you DO with that time that allows you to heal. If you are waiting around for him/her to contact you, you are NOT healing. Change his/her name in your phone to read DO NOT ANSWER as a reminder to not pick up the call. Instead of waiting around hoping for them to contact you, you should be investing your time in yourself. New hobbies, friends, your career, self-improvement, etc. Life is going to go on whether they contact you or not. It's time to start living
SadForever Posted May 15, 2007 Posted May 15, 2007 This is the thing about NC and healing. It's not just NC that allows you to heal but what you DO with that time that allows you to heal. If you are waiting around for him/her to contact you, you are NOT healing. Change his/her name in your phone to read DO NOT ANSWER as a reminder to not pick up the call. Instead of waiting around hoping for them to contact you, you should be investing your time in yourself. New hobbies, friends, your career, self-improvement, etc. Life is going to go on whether they contact you or not. It's time to start living CaliGuy, you sure make a good point. I am very guilty of waiting around for him to contact me in any way....cell phone, text, email, anything! I took a bold step by deleting my myspace account so I wouldnt be tempted to look at his page anymore. But I cant seem to get away from constantly checking the computer and having my cell phone glued to me. I do try to invest in myself, but it's so hard to have much enthusiasm or motivation...when he is always in the back of my mind. Wishing things could be the way they were.
CaliGuy Posted May 15, 2007 Posted May 15, 2007 I do try to invest in myself, but it's so hard to have much enthusiasm or motivation...when he is always in the back of my mind. Wishing things could be the way they were. In that regards, it's akin to driving your car while staring at the rear view mirror. Life is passing you by and you're focused on the past instead of the present. Even Jesus said that. Forget yesterday and don't worry about tomorrow. Live for today because that is all you have. That doesn't mean be selfish, that means take care of the needs of others today as well as yourself. The past is something you can not change and the future is something you have limited to no control over. All you have left, again, is today.
SadForever Posted May 15, 2007 Posted May 15, 2007 In that regards, it's akin to driving your car while staring at the rear view mirror. Life is passing you by and you're focused on the past instead of the present. Even Jesus said that. Forget yesterday and don't worry about tomorrow. Live for today because that is all you have. That doesn't mean be selfish, that means take care of the needs of others today as well as yourself. The past is something you can not change and the future is something you have limited to no control over. All you have left, again, is today. More words of wisdom CaliGuy. I really like your analogy. Your advice is easier said than done, but I'm going to keep trying.
JaneInVegas Posted May 15, 2007 Posted May 15, 2007 heh, don't feel like the lone stranger I finally turned off my ringer and put my cell phone where I couldn't see it. I thought I was the only one like that, but from the multitudes of posts of others in the same boat, at least I now feel like I have some company
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