Should I have sent flowers?

[Guest]

I'm not really the internet relationship forum type, but, as I'm sure has been said many times here, I'm in a confusing situation. I would very much appreciate some input.

 

Basically, my girlfriend of more than two years has told me she is in need of a break. This is a common situation, I know. However, I think the details of mine are different enough that I might need some personalized advice.

 

A couple weeks ago, we had some argument about marriage, wherein I stupidly said I thought it was a pointless institution. Understandably, this made her very depressed, and the next day she continued to be very depressed. We talked through it, I tried to qualify what I said--the particulars are not important. The argument eventually deteriorated into our usual argument--I am not thoughtful enough; meaning, I do not plan enough things for us, I don't send flowers. Though I think she is exaggerating, she's not wrong. She has said many times that even though she tries not to, she NEEDS me to be that kind of boyfriend. Fair enough. I honestly have been trying to change, and I think I've gotten better.

 

We argue a couple times more over the next few days (over the internet--we are temporarily separated by state borders). The thing is, when she argues, she needs to leave me for a while to cool off, she gets very frustrated. I have the opposite style. As soon as the argument cools off, I want to reconnect with her. I don't really hold grudges, and I come down from anger very quickly. So basically these arguments left us both feeling unfulfilled. After about a week, she seemed to be doing better. We had friendly conversations, the usual stuff, and she was affectionate. Even yesterday morning, she was very affectionate.

 

Then today, she calls me, obviously upset. She tells me that she has been feeling unsure about our relationship and its future for a few weeks. She says that when I have been affectionate towards her, it has annoyed her. The things she usually thinks are cute have been annoying. I know this feeling. It has happened to me a few times in the past, where suddenly I just feel very distant and annoyed by her. Unfortunately, according to her, this has lasted for a couple weeks. So she talked to a friend, who told her that this happened to her, so she and her boyfriend took a break. When they got back together, everything was fresh again. So--I understand where my girlfriend is coming from. I agreed that we should not talk, and that when she is ready, she can call me. I asked her if we were still exclusively boyfriend and girlfriend during this period, and she answered "of course." It does not help me that the internet is full of these kinds of threads, saying SHE IS CHEATING ON YOU DUDE. This is why I want a separate opinion of my own situation.

 

Also, I'm worried that I made a mistake. Because a lot of the problems in our relationship have happened because I underestimated the importance of a special occasion, or did not show that I was thinking of her, I decided to send her some flowers. On the one hand, I think this is a good idea--I'm not sure how much her asking for space was from me 'suffocating' her. The fact is, I'm not super lovey dovey, and I am in no way clingy. But I immediately second guessed myself, and worried that I am accomplishing the exact opposite of what I want. What does everyone think?