EnigmasMuse Posted April 25, 2007 Posted April 25, 2007 I'm just trying to understand this, and hope others can help me. I have a co-worker who is a really nice lady, but over the past 6-8 months she has had three miscarriages. I feel bad for her I really do. They already have two kids, and want another one which is fine. BUT, she just recently found out she has miscarried again, and is so adaament about wanting to try to get pregnant again. Her doctor told her all three times when she was pregnant before after she miscarried to give it time and wait at least 3 months or so before trying again. But it seems she doesn't listen. It just seems she wants another baby, and as quickly as possible. She wont wait, she has said before she starts trying pretty quick after she miscarries. I think they are going to run some tests or something to see what might be going on, but, as much as I hate to say this, she just comes across as she has to hurry and get pregnant, like she has some kind of point to prove or something, its weird I can't explain it. I understand she has undergone these tramatic things over the past few months with these miscarriages, but she doesn't even act right to me, kind of like shes wigging out or something. I guess that can happen to a person after 3 losses. I suggested counsling for her, like a grief counselor type of deal, and she just kind of laughed it off saying all she needs are her family and friends. Does it seem she wants to replace the ones she lost really bad? Or maybe she feels the need to prove a point with having another baby or what?
quankanne Posted April 25, 2007 Posted April 25, 2007 sounds like it's a kind of denial that she's going through, not being able to carry a baby past a certain stage. Maybe you can help her look up information that promotes a waiting period to help her body recoup and prepare for the next pregnancy?
Author EnigmasMuse Posted April 25, 2007 Author Posted April 25, 2007 sounds like it's a kind of denial that she's going through, not being able to carry a baby past a certain stage. Maybe you can help her look up information that promotes a waiting period to help her body recoup and prepare for the next pregnancy? Thanks. I have asked her if her doctor has told her to wait why doesn't she do that, and she says that they do wait, but if she miscarried and then a month later ended up pregnant again thats not really waiting like the doc said. Maybe she feels thats enough time, not sure. I might do as you suggested and look into some info for her about letting her body recoup well, before preparing for another pregnancy. Her doctor did tell her thats one of the reasons she needed to wait. I can't help but wonder if there is something else wrong or going. I can't explain her behavior, its kind of like, shes on fire and got to hurry and hopefuly get pregnant again or something. I know that sounds weird, sorry.
quankanne Posted April 26, 2007 Posted April 26, 2007 nope, doesn't really sound strange if she's gung-ho to be pregnant ... the worrisome part is that she's not giving her body a chance to physically bounce back, because the being pregnant then losing baby is a huge trauma on a woman's body ...
JackJack Posted April 26, 2007 Posted April 26, 2007 I don't know much about your co worker, but I'll take a stab since you asked. It could be she is wanting to keep trying quickly because maybe shes trying to fill a void from the other miscarraiges she has had. OR, maybe theres a void she thinks she needs to fill, that have nothing to do with her miscarriages. Maybe, she feels shes not loved/cared for or supported much, in her life, and she feels having a new baby along with her other kids is what will fill the empty space. She really needs to give her body time to heal, and if shes not wanting too, even after the doctor has told her, then yes sounds like shes trying to fill something that she is lacking. Not just physically, but emotionally as well.
blind_otter Posted April 26, 2007 Posted April 26, 2007 I know a lot of women who try to have a baby immediately after a miscarriage. I've had two miscarriages and let me tell you, the hormone let-down is really BAD. I felt like I desperately wanted another child for about 2-3 months after both of my miscarriages and it was only the sane, logical part of my mind that helped me to control myself and not make another big mistake. Well, that and the circumstances of my life at the time. What a weird situation. To be honest, if it were me I would stay out of it. But I'm a pretty socially avoidant person.
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