smookie Posted April 25, 2007 Posted April 25, 2007 Ok 3 days and I normally would call but today I did everything I could not to call and so far so good... Apart of me wants to calls and tell him off, I am so mad that he can just walk away but yet I am glad that he is not fighting because of all the wrong he did to me. I feel like he is a bad habbit in my life and I have to break it worse then i do smoking. I know that I will not call him but I need helpful ways to stop myself in case I really want to
2ndIINone Posted April 25, 2007 Posted April 25, 2007 the biggest reason is the feeling you will have AFTER you crack and call. You will regret it.... hate yourself for doing it... you'll feel disappointed and weaaaaak. So don't do it GIRL! other helpful ways... Place cellphone on ground.... and step on it. Cut all phone cords in the house. Post here when you feel like contacting him. Do 50 pushups every time you get the urge to call. Alternate pushups with 50 situps... through out the day. Put a rubberband around your wrist... with every urge to call.... snap the rubberband.... and think NEGATIVE thoughts of the past with him. G'luck
smookie Posted April 25, 2007 Posted April 25, 2007 Wow That was funny, I likee the rubberband one the most, feels like the pain he put me through, Thanks so much for posting that!!!
2ndIINone Posted April 25, 2007 Posted April 25, 2007 well, usually upsetting breakups cause us to only think of the good times ... causing us to miss the ex's for ALL THE WRONG reasons. So if you have the rubberband (representing the bad times) it'll always remind you.
smookie Posted April 25, 2007 Posted April 25, 2007 I do not think of the good time I think of the whole relationship, I had alot of expectations from it that I should have never had, He started out lying to me and until our last phone conversation he lied to me again. Thats why I do not want to call him because I know that I am allowing him to do this to me. I went on my bike tonight and also to the gym when I felt my weakest, thats helps me alot cuz I can not talk on a phone after that ans I do not think of it, I think of how much better I am doing without him in my house.... I do kinda feel bad because I see why he was fighting with my daughter, she is lazy and does not like to do anything and walks around like the world owes her something but I am also stepping on her too about that. I made a 2 bdrm apt in my house for her (17 years old). another story another time. lol... alot of things happening in this house of mne but I am ending the day today saying I did not call him and I am happy that i did not. you are right I do feel good for only a time then I start to feel like crap thaks again
smookie Posted April 25, 2007 Posted April 25, 2007 I only slept 4 hours lastnight, I kept on waking up, having dreams of him, I do not understand why this is all happening, I am mad that he can just walk away and act like I am and was never nothing to him, I am mad because what I felt for so long seems so true.
Icantletgo Posted April 25, 2007 Posted April 25, 2007 Be strong. I'm on NC day 6. There are times when I just wanna text him so he knows I still love him...but don't. think about how miserable you are when you do talk to him or see him and know that he has moved on...and the control he has over you, knowing that you haven't!! Be strong. I promise in 2 weeks time you will be happy!
smookie Posted April 26, 2007 Posted April 26, 2007 Sometimes for the control part of it I wonder if this is why he being this way, Like he never knew me but yet he says little things that says he is botherd like this one This guy I kinnda liked a few years ago called after he found out what happened. I mentioned this to my ex and he said ya watch he will be coming over to the house now, I said I hope he does not, really I do not care to see him, his reply to this was I do not care anymore I am not there??? Now I question things like that, Why the comments why would he be saying that?
Davis Posted April 26, 2007 Posted April 26, 2007 I only slept 4 hours lastnight, I kept on waking up, having dreams of him, I do not understand why this is all happening, I am mad that he can just walk away and act like I am and was never nothing to him, I am mad because what I felt for so long seems so true. Smookie, it's normal to not get much sleep at first and to have dreams, the dreams are usually your unconscious letting you work through it. Also, you're in the early stage of "grief" which is the stage of "why me", "what could I have done", "what did I do wrong" and so on. This is all a normal part of the process. I wouldn't try to second guess why he said this or that or why he didn't or what did he mean. It will drive you crazy! I wouldn't say you meant nothing to him, but your situation has changed now. Someday you won't care if he really cared or not. Nothing wrong with getting mad. I always found that helped me get through me ex. Hmmm. Take up kick boxing cardio too?? What can you do? Write a list of all his bad traits. Tape it on your bathroom mirror. Look at it often. Reflect on what was wrong with him and how it wouldn't work. Try to understand that while you're going through all this heartache now, you could have gotten much further down the road with him, more involved and it would have been much worse. Keep going to the gym and doing cardio!! Very important!!
smookie Posted April 26, 2007 Posted April 26, 2007 It is not important to why he said it , you are so right but it is picking at me all the time, I broke the NC this morning (I know bad) and thats what he said this morning, so ya it bugs me and I just want input. You are more then right about the heartach oh ya, I could see it distroying me but I am lucky and kept in close contact with alot of friends as well I have made new friends, I started to take dancing tongiht as well ,I just want to fill my every minute with something to do. So if anyone can understand why he says things like that (never brought it up in a few years now all coming out). why does that happen. I tried ot work on these issues and he swept them all under the rug and ignored them. why now bring up the things that drove me crazy in the past 3.5 years? it is over why let it bug him now or even bring it up??? thanks bunches guys, I really like this place a great place for advise and reading... your all wonderful!!!!
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