Guest Posted April 25, 2007 Posted April 25, 2007 I could really use some advice. I'm in my early 30's and was married very young. My ex-husband was the only person I had slept with before I met Chris. He swept me off my feet and seemed like a great catch. He's not perfect, but seemed to have it together. He talked about our future all the time and wanting to marry me. I figured he was overzealous and would calm down. I wanted to take it slow but ended up sleeping with him on the fourth date. We had 3 great months together and I fell in love with him. I was scared and attempted to break up with him. Then he broke up with me. I apologized and we got back together after 3 weeks. He had a horrible mother and a physically, emotionally, and verbally abusive ex-wife. She still tortures him because they have a child together. He panics at milestones, like 3 or 6 months of dating and at the thought of being exclusive. Yet he really isn't dating and we agreed to be sexually active only with each other. In the last month he had a body part pierced for me and went through hell to get my birthday off of work. He told me that his sister said that he should hang on to me and he agreed. We were in bed, cuddling, and he told me that if he could be closer to me he would do anything and held me as tight as he could. Then I mentioned our 6 month anniversary and he changed. He started a fight. We talked it over and had sex in the morning. We were upset, but everything seemed ok. The day before our anniversary, he comes over to my apartment and breaks up with me. Apparently, I only want him for his body and I'm annoying on the phone. It started with I can't be in a committed relationship, then lets break up. He asked me what I thought and I said I don't know. We just click, intellectually, physically, and humor-wise. We just haven't been able to open up and talk about ourselves and our feelings lately. In the end he said he needed a break from dating, an indefinite break. I had something for him and offered to give it to him early, but he wanted to wait. So when am I supposed to give it to him if we are on a break? I told him that I would not be sitting and waiting for him. He said that he needs to decide how he would feel about another man being in my apartment and me caring about this other man like I did for Chris. At one point he seemed like he was going to tear up and he kept touching my hair. He kissed me goodnight. I know he is emotionally unstable and not in a position right now for a serious relationship. I'm not in a hurry for one either and I would work with him to see if we could fix our problems. Am I beating a dead horse or giving up too soon on someone who could be the love of my life?
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