Ladyjane14 Posted April 25, 2007 Posted April 25, 2007 ...and would the family notice that I was gone?" That right there sounds like something you might want to work on. It doesn't take an infidelity to make a man feel like he's "on the outside looking in". It happens in alot of marriages. You need to feel like an integral part of the family dynamic, no matter where you are or what you're doing. Your best bet is probably going to be in first identifying the mundane. What are some of the issues in your day-to-day that are leaving you feeling 'out of step' with the family unit? What would it take to bring you back in sync? It is a situation that is unlikely to change, and makes the "Trust" element of our marriage all the more important. This, in itself, makes me fearful for the future, because I don't want to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder for the next betrayal. I think you'll eventually be surprised at how much authoritative control you really do have over that. What you find out in the end is that the active trust you offer to your spouse is YOUR CHOICE. And that you can only make that choice by first trusting in yourself.
Darth Vader Posted April 26, 2007 Posted April 26, 2007 Ladyjane, I agree with what you are saying, but, even you know if his wife is not willing to put forth any effort in rebuilding, wibbles efforts are futile. It takes 2 to make a marriage work, period. Also it look like your wife doesn't want to face the consiquences of her actions, that's why she refuses counseling. She doesn't want to wake up to the fact of all the things she had willingly done, even in your own bed.
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