apcrey Posted April 24, 2007 Posted April 24, 2007 I've been in a relationship with a wonderful girl for about 3 years now. Although we haven't discussed it, I can see us getting married. But, I've got issues of my own which are troubling me. I enjoy talking with other girls (I never hit on them, but the way I talk is flirty for the lack of a better word). I'm not trying to get them in bed, I just enjoy the attention from them. I met a girl at work recently, started chatting with her, and we got along very well. I didn't see much of her for a while as our schedules were very different. Fast forward to tonight and there is a party at work. We chat and catch up on things. Through words and body language it becomes clear that we are both attracted to one another. Eventually, I decide it's time for me to leave, and as we were saying our goodbyes she tries to kiss me. The kiss caught me off guard (seriously wasn't expecting anything like that to happen), but in the split second I saw it coming I knew it would be wrong to do (nb. I don't want to cheat on my girlfriend). I dodged the kiss and gave her a kiss on the cheek (a very very casual kiss, nothing romantic). I have no desire to break up with my girlfriend, but I am extremely curious what me and this other girl might have had. Its a mute point anyways, as this girl is moving across the country and I have no way of contacting her at this point (sans ingenuity). I feel like I should be more respectful of my girlfriend, and not be so chatty with other girls, but I can't seem to help myself. I don't think there is any real harm in me being friendly, but when I meet someone I really enjoy speaking with, I feel like I'm in for a whirlwind of trouble. Please help me straighten out my love life!!!
Star Gazer Posted April 24, 2007 Posted April 24, 2007 If you don't mind me asking, how old are you? And is this the only relationship you've had? P.S. - "Moot," not "mute."
serial muse Posted April 24, 2007 Posted April 24, 2007 Here's something you may not have thought about. Your girlfriend isn't the only one you're causing potential hurt to. You're also leading other people on. I agree, you "sound" young. It’s one thing to not be sure of what you want, and if that’s the case, I’d say why not just date around for a while? But what’s more troubling is that you say you just enjoy the attention. But there’s a living, breathing woman on the other end of that, who has hopes that you want more than just to soak up her attention. And your girlfriend as well, who trusts you. Stop using people to boost your own ego, and just figure out whether this is the relationship you want.
LoveLace Posted April 24, 2007 Posted April 24, 2007 You could potentially hurt your GF and other girls too here. You basically should make a decision, either break up with your girlfriend or stop using other girls to feed your ego. You can't have both. And if you are interested in seeing what could develop between you and this other girl, you must break up with your GF, cuz your pretty much saying you want to date somebody else. You might think you want to marry your GF, but you really don't want to - at least not now - so if you want your GF to wait for you, you have to remain faithful and stop what you are doing. Cuz she won't wait for you if you split up temporarily, in order for you to see what's out there and get your kicks out of it. I think it's natural and normal what your feeling, but you must decide what it really means for you...it could mean you are not really for committment. Ask yourself, is your GF worth giving up your behavior for? Would you still be happy without it? If you can't answer "yes" to that without thinking about it first, you might want to consider being a single man for a while...but you will lose your GF possibly forever.
Sundancer Posted April 25, 2007 Posted April 25, 2007 I think he just wants to make sure he's "still got it". After being off the single page for a while he just wants to make sure he can still catch the eye of an attractive lady. Don't get me wrong I think it is very dangerous- it could lead you to places you don't really want to go. But I am just saying I understand where he is coming from. Way to go for doing the right thing! Don't beat yourself up too much- but take notes and learn from this lesson. You don't want to lose the girl that you are obviously really in love with.
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