loveinlife Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 My ex called two times today, I have been practicing NC and haven't picked it up. On her second call, she left me a voice message saying that this will be her last call and that she was lying about the whole robert thing she told me she was dating two weeks ago. Event that might significant to know, about a month ago, she was lying in my bed and she was asking me about my past dating after our break up. I told her the truth that i had dated 5 people, all didn't work out bc i still had feelings for her. I also said i have brought a girl home before too to have sex. My question is could she be telling me the truth that she is not seeing someone or is she doing this bc i have been ignoring her calls. Lots of questions are surfacing and i want to have a clearer picture on this. Right now this seems like an ultimatum with her Will she call back? or is this the last draw? I still have some feelings for this girl. Hope to hear some responses to help me out.
2ndIINone Posted April 24, 2007 Posted April 24, 2007 My ex called two times today, I have been practicing NC and haven't picked it up.NICE! My question is could she be telling me the truth that she is not seeing someone or is she doing this bc i have been ignoring her calls.Hmmm... whether it's true or not... she said it. Which makes you 100% Right for turning your back. If she was lying to you... then she's nuts and apparently likes to play games, which again, makes you 100% RIGHT for turning your back. DO NOT let her twist things and manipulate you as if SHE'S now the victim. Right now this seems like an ultimatum with herI've been given 3 ultimatums in my life... I walked on each one. NO ONE is gonna give or should give someone an ultimatum. Will she call back? or is this the last draw?Straw... not draw... and yes, she will call back, so relax. This is just the appetizer before the main course. She may not call tonight, or 2morrow, but she WILL eventually.
bendit Posted April 24, 2007 Posted April 24, 2007 let me put it this way. real simple. If you DO NOT know if your X or current GF is lying, you need a new GF. Think. I will say it again. If you DO NOT know if your current or X gf is lying, you need a new GF. Think and act. regards
Icantletgo Posted April 24, 2007 Posted April 24, 2007 No more games. If she was lying, then that's a mean/nasty lie. why would she say something to hurt your feelings. My bet isthat she's getting scared since you are going NC and she wants you back cause she's starting to shake!!!! If she was really lying, she would have told you the truth right away, not wait 2 weeks!!! Ignore her. Plus, grown ups don't give ultimatums. they talk.
oppath Posted April 24, 2007 Posted April 24, 2007 I disagree about it being an ultimatum. People act irrational in this situation. She likely was panicking about you not responding and felt bad. She wasn't giving an ultimatum so much as saying "it seems you don't want to talk to me and I won't bother you again if you choose not to respond." She's not saying "This is your only chance to ever get me back or be friends if you don't call." Now, lying or not about the other guy...that's not acceptable, not even from a friend. It reminds me of when my ex asked to be FWB -- I went off on her -- and her response was "I was just joking." Well, no, she wasn't. Either she was making a legit request to use me while I was vulnerable -- in which case she was insensitive, disrespectful, and cruel; or, if she was joking, she was deliberately trying to joke with my emotions, which would be insensitive, disrespectful, and cruel. The only way to save face would be to apologize. You can't back out of a deep degrading insult. She can't back out by saying it is a lie. She just can't. She can apologize if she did lie, but it needs to be sincere. I've never lied to a gf -- I've been lied to -- and I won't tolerate it anymore.
Author loveinlife Posted April 24, 2007 Author Posted April 24, 2007 NICE! Hmmm... whether it's true or not... she said it. Which makes you 100% Right for turning your back. If she was lying to you... then she's nuts and apparently likes to play games, which again, makes you 100% RIGHT for turning your back. DO NOT let her twist things and manipulate you as if SHE'S now the victim. I've been given 3 ultimatums in my life... I walked on each one. NO ONE is gonna give or should give someone an ultimatum. Straw... not draw... and yes, she will call back, so relax. This is just the appetizer before the main course. She may not call tonight, or 2morrow, but she WILL eventually. I liked you analysis that is very good. let me put it this way. real simple. If you DO NOT know if your X or current GF is lying, you need a new GF. Think. I will say it again. If you DO NOT know if your current or X gf is lying, you need a new GF. Think and act. regards First thing when i heard her saying that she knows a robert. My immediate reaction was that she was lying but her persistence on the topic when i asked two more times remained the same. She even texted me back saying sorry for putting me through this when she was still going out with someone else while seeing me at the same time.\ Perhaps she wasn't lying. =( No more games. If she was lying, then that's a mean/nasty lie. why would she say something to hurt your feelings. My bet isthat she's getting scared since you are going NC and she wants you back cause she's starting to shake!!!! If she was really lying, she would have told you the truth right away, not wait 2 weeks!!! Ignore her. Plus, grown ups don't give ultimatums. they talk. Thanks Ican for giving me clearer thoughts. I disagree about it being an ultimatum. People act irrational in this situation. She likely was panicking about you not responding and felt bad. She wasn't giving an ultimatum so much as saying "it seems you don't want to talk to me and I won't bother you again if you choose not to respond." She's not saying "This is your only chance to ever get me back or be friends if you don't call." Now, lying or not about the other guy...that's not acceptable, not even from a friend. It reminds me of when my ex asked to be FWB -- I went off on her -- and her response was "I was just joking." Well, no, she wasn't. Either she was making a legit request to use me while I was vulnerable -- in which case she was insensitive, disrespectful, and cruel; or, if she was joking, she was deliberately trying to joke with my emotions, which would be insensitive, disrespectful, and cruel. The only way to save face would be to apologize. You can't back out of a deep degrading insult. She can't back out by saying it is a lie. She just can't. She can apologize if she did lie, but it needs to be sincere. I've never lied to a gf -- I've been lied to -- and I won't tolerate it anymore. thanks oppah, I agree lying is not good, there lies a dishonest person when she said that to me. But like Ican said too, does it take two weeks to say it or is it provoked by my actions of NC. The other scenario is that she is fooling around but knows its not for long term so she doesn't want me to spread the words to my friends, who also knows her friends and etc to ruin her image. Thanks for all the replies, i still need more time to think about this. Let me know if you guys/girls find more input. I greatly appreciate it. thanks Meanwhile i will not call her. ------------------------ Perhaps its best to not think.
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