Aloros Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 I really don't understand why he's doing this. I've been dating my bf for nine months, close to ten. We have a great relationship. We spend evenings and weekends together, have taken a two-week trip together (and it went well!), and I simply adore him. He treats me so well and I get along better with him than anyone else I know. He's been doing this thing lately, for the past month or so, where he just blurts out "Will you marry me?" Sometimes he stops himself, or he just mumbles off into something else around the "marr..." part. He's also said "Will you be my...?" before stopping himself and ending with "...girlfriend?" I've mostly just ignored these slip-ups, or if he pulls the "will you be my...girlfriend?" one I just kiss him, smile, and tell him "I already am". I caught him at it again this morning, when he thought I was asleep. "Myname, will you marry me?" I don't get it. He talks about committment sometimes like it's a Big Scary Thing, but at the same time he's given me the keys to his apt., we eat dinner together, and spend every night together. I've never put any pressure on him (though sometimes I think he feels differently). The most I ever did was give him my keys, AND I told him it was fine if he didn't feel comfortable not giving me his. I've offered to cool things down, and he's turned me down every time. I'm not the kind of girl who would say this without meaning it. Why is he doing this? It's driving me nuts. If he wanted to ask me, seriously, a few months down the line (I have a 1-year minimum dating rule before engagement), I'd say "yes". He's told me once that I'm "the one" and says often how he's "got the girl". I'm 24 (he's 28). I'm young and a busy person and in no hurry for marriage. I'd be ok with waiting for a couple years. But having this dangling in my face, so often, drives me crazy. I mean, what are his intentions? I hesitate to bring it up, because I don't want to embarrass him. I also secretly kind of like it when he asks. If he'd just never said anything I'd be perfectly happy continuing as we are. Now I'm terribly confused as to what he wants. Mixed messages, much?
melodymatters Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 I would regard it as adorable pre-engagement foreplay and just enjoy it !!!!!! When he's ready, he'll ask, and since you aren't in a hurry and he knows it, it's probably his way of expressing how much he loves you. Cute !
Author Aloros Posted April 24, 2007 Author Posted April 24, 2007 I am enjoying it. I guess I just knew what he was thinking. I honestly don't think he intends me to hear!
dropdeadlegs Posted April 24, 2007 Posted April 24, 2007 It's good that you enjoy it, but at the same time it seems to be making you uncomfortable. I play that game. I don't want to get married, at least not anytime soon. Neither does my BF. Still a couple times a year I send him a text saying "Will you marry me?" to which he always replies "While I am sure you are the girl for me, I am just not ready yet. Thank you for asking." I would NEVER seriously ask something so important by text message, and he knows that, but I think he secretly likes it, too. Likes that I would want to marry him, but don't require it at all. He dated his last GF for 6 years on and off, and they broke up because he wouldn't marry her. One night when we were both very intoxicated, okay we were downright drunk, he asked me to marry him. I said "no, we can't, because T**** wanted you to marry her so bad and it would crush her if you married me after a year." The next day he was laughing at me saying "what was up with THAT?" Oh well, maybe it wasn't the right thing to say but it shut him up so he would just let me go to sleep! It sounds like your guy is more ready to commit than he has ever felt before. I also say enjoy it. When he's really serious, he'll really ask, and when your seriously ready to be asked, I'm sure you could throw around some hints so that he would know he wouldn't be rejected. That's probably what he is worried about, the possibility you might say no. He may be saying things about commitment being a big thing just to see your reaction, like putting out his feelers. I'm hearing wedding bells already.
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