Aloros Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 It's been a while since we broke up for the last time - basically a couple months shy of a year. I have no animosity towards him, but I started dating someone about a month after the breakup (and we're still together and going strong), and now he's bitter and angry towards me. I feel like things have been friendlier between us in recent months. We were at the same party a month or so ago, and that went ok (though I was told by the hosting party not to bring my bf - I left early). I invited him to a party of mine recently because I finished writing a book. He thanked me for the invite, congratulated me, but said he was out of town that evening. My cat has just been recently diagnosed with a terminal illness. He is getting some of the best care in the world and has access to some experimental treatment, but the vet says he has somewhere in the range of "months" left to live. He's a very special cat. He's one of a rare, hybrid breed, is super-super smart, extremely affectionate, absolutely gorgeous, and I am devastated. I've had plenty of pets, but have never bonded with an animal the way I have with this one. My ex was there when I picked him up as a kitten at the airport. He helped to care for him when I was gone, and I know he was fond of him. He referred to himself as the cat's "daddy". Should I let him know? I feel like I owe it to him, but at the same time, I wrote to him just a couple weeks ago about the party. I don't want him to get the wrong idea. I'm not looking for sympathy or support - I have a bf for that - but I feel like he should be informed. Ugh! I wish I could just call him up and speak to him plainly. I don't think he'd take a phone call too well.
alphamale Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 Should I let him know? No, not under any circumstances. That chapter of your life is closed, keep it that way.
Trialbyfire Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 No. If your ex cared so much for your pet, he would have made serious attempts to get some "quality time" with him.
Art_Critic Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 No, not under any circumstances. That chapter of your life is closed, keep it that way. I agree...
whichwayisup Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 He isn't a part of your life at all anymore - and in all honesty - What do you expect him to do or say? "Can I come over to see the cat?" or "Why are you contacting me to tell me about the cat, sorry it's sick, but why did you call me to tell me?" I don't think he'd take a phone call too well. Don't call or email him. Fact that you feel he wouldn't take kindly to a call, definately listen to your gut on that one. Sorry your cat is ill though, I know it's difficult to deal with a pet dying, the whole process.
Author Aloros Posted April 23, 2007 Author Posted April 23, 2007 I think he'd freak out if I called him. He tends to blow things out of proportion and to latch on to drama. Like I said, he's fond of the cat, and I thought he might want a chance to say "goodbye". I would prefer not to burn my bridges with the ex because almost all of our friends are mutual. But all these "no" replies have to mean something. I'm sure if he wanted to know he could find out from a friend (my friends are all bummed about the cat as well...he's like everyone's little buddy) or by taking a look at my online blog. Thanks for the advice.
Topper Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 I have a deep attachment to My pets . My ex got one of our dogs I got the other. Personaly I would want to know. My Golden Retriever is 16 now. Her time is coming. When she passes on I will let my ex know. I just think it is the right thing to do. Rather then a call, maybe send note in the mail.
whichwayisup Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 Since you have mutual friends, let one of your friends tell him that your cat is ill and dying. Then HE can choose on whether or not he wants to come by and see your cat. But, don't be hurt or disappointed if he doesn't call. Yet, if he does, KEEP ALL conversation about the cat. DO not talk about you, the relationship or anything from the past...
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