I'm not a very good player!

[Davis]

I've been dating this woman, 38, for over a month and she's a professional playa! She has a bf of some sort, but we continue to date and have sex. Obviously she's getting under my skin or I wouldn't post here.

 

Friday night I missed her call. I called back 20 mins later. She wants to know what girl I was with thursday night, if I have a date and "suggests" she wants to get together, but then she tells me she made plans with her cousin cuz I didn't call her back for 20 mins! BS! I told her she had no intention of meeting up, was playing games and to have a nice night.

 

She texts me at midnight and says she's on her way to my house. I reply with BS! She didn't show up. We talk at 3:30am and says she would have come up, but I had a bad attitude and didn't seem very friendly, so she didn't. Again I told her that was BS and an excuse cuz I knew she had to get up really early for "something". I know that she had no intention of coming up, she just wanted to see if I was with a girl and play a game to try to get back in control.

 

Saturday, I sent her several texts telling her she was an adolescent game player, along with some other rude comments. She didn't like that. I told her I fckd another hottie Friday nite when she didn't come over, so it was all good (I was BS ing her). (I know, I know, that was bad of me to play that kinda of game with her, but she pisses me off). Saturday thru Sunday night I heard absolutely nothing from her cuz I'm sure she was with her bf.

 

We were suppose to meet up Sunday afternoon. I left her a text asking if she still wanted to get together. She finally called at 6pm and left a calm, cool message saying she was just getting back to me, just picked up her kids from her ex early and that I'm probably out with some "hottie" (I have no idea why she's so insecure and says this all the time). She called back an hour later, I purposely didn't answer and she left no message (a sign of anxiousness to me). I have not responded.

 

She has a bf and our situation is not going to develop into anything for many reasons even though I do like her. No, I'm not going to walk out. I know I shouldn't put up with being "2nd" and her games. But, my goal is to continue to see her and have some more fun and sex.

 

So! I'm back to trying to figure out how to handle all of this. My initial, emotional reaction is to 1) call her out on her behavior and tell her it's bs. Then my friends tell me to 2) Don't call her, don't say anything and just wait for her to call me, chase me and just ride it out.

 

She has a bf, is playing games and now has me pissed, so I think I should do #2. I need to stop calling her and let her come to me. I need to be unavailable more often. I need to play it cool and act like the weekend bs didn't bother me. Suggestions?

 

Are there any good books or online advice out there on handling these situations and this type of girl?

[2ndIINone]

She sounds like she's more trouble then she's worth.

Granted.. I understand you're into the 'open' relationship thing.... dating more then one girl... which is fine... but this one??? She's defeating the whole purpose... for the simple fact... she's got your head twisted.

Drop her like a bad habit, cause that's exactly what she is.

10x1 odds... says that'll do the trick. She is NOT a playa... she just a girl who knows she's got your ba!!s in the palm of her hand.

[sunshinegirl]

My initial, emotional reaction is to 1) call her out on her behavior and tell her it's bs.

 

You've already done this, apparently, several times:

 

BS! I told her she had no intention of meeting up, was playing games and to have a nice night.

 

I reply with BS! She didn't show up.

 

Saturday, I sent her several texts telling her she was an adolescent game player, along with some other rude comments.

 

Not sure what you think saying any of it again is going to accomplish.

[Trialbyfire]

Stop this Davis. I went back on your threads and noticed something. Your ex g/f and this woman are cheaters. Time to look deep within yourself and see what draws you to women who have needs beyond the normal.

 

Is it the challenge of the unattainable, that only the emotionally detached will do? How healthy is it for you to continue empowering these cheaters?

 

Think about it Man...

[reservoirdog1]

Don't bother wasting money on a book. Here's some free advice.

 

The simple fact is, you're f*ckbuddies with a cheater. Given that you two are only f*ckbuddies, why in hell would you be anything more to her than "second"? Don't expect any better behaviour from her, because she has little "better" to give you. She already has kids and a boyfriend who she's cheerfully shytting on.

 

Why are you happy to get involved with people like her anyway?

 

Besides which, if her BF finds out about you, he may just decide to hunt you down and snap your dyck in half. Word to the wise.

[O'Malley]

She's playing her boyfriend, not you. What is calling her out for the fourth time going to change? You keep giving her attention and having sex with her anyway.

 

You know that she's fine with promising one thing and then doing another. You're not dating, so she doesn't owe you her time and you certainly don't owe her yours.

But if you want to be her side chump, continue. I'll save my pity for the boyfriend.

[Davis]

she's got your head twisted. Drop her like a bad habit, cause that's exactly what she is. 10x1 odds... says that'll do the trick. She is NOT a playa... she just a girl who knows she's got your ba!!s in the palm of her hand.

 

Thanks for the advice everyone and good points! Yes, my last gf was a cheater and liar and so is this one. The only difference is that I'm the "other guy" this time. Nothing to be proud of and I know what you're going to say; I didn't like it when it was done to me.

 

Trail: i agree. I need to get out of these situations all together. I was going to do that after my ex, then I ran into this one. I've always been the type of guy that has instant chemistry with a woman, fireworks and great sex. Of course, these type of women usually are very fckd up.

 

2nd: you're right. she's a bad habit. i always get into these "compulsive" relationships. and need to work on that. Yep!!! You're right!! She knows she's got me by the balls, hence her games friday night.

 

Sunshine: true. I have called her on her behavior. I guess my thought was telling her stop with the games and bs or I'm out. There's no reason to give her some "ultimatum", cuz she's not going to stop cuz that's who she is. And she claims I'm all wrong about her and she's not a player!

 

Reservoir: Yep. You're right, we're just fck buddies. The first couple of weeks it was all good, then she probably stopped fighting or whatever with her bf and realized she had me by the balls, so now she treats me like sht. You're right about the bf ... she makes me "hide" my truck in her garage! She might as well be married!