hugznkisses21 Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 What are the primary differences in feeling and etc between being in love with someone and being in love with the idea of being with someone? Just wonder?
alextop30 Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 do you want a straight answer -- one that is set and stone!!! If you are looking for one there is none. I view it as feelings - if compare the feelings you have for a girl that is strictly a friend are very different than when you are in love. For friend you hang out you guys go to movies talk about stuff but there is no attraction. While with being in love there is desirable attraction between the two and the feeligs are elevated to a very high point. I see it that when you are in love you care about that person more than you care about yourself, somthing like this I hope I was about to answer your question.
Author hugznkisses21 Posted April 23, 2007 Author Posted April 23, 2007 yes i see what you are saying about being in love with someone and being a friend but i think im just asking cause u hear about people who are in love with the idea of being with someone - yes they do care about that person deeply still - but how do they know its cause they love them or they just dotn want to be without them - if that makes sense
sunshinegirl Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 It's a great question and I don't have a great answer... ...but I might be guilty of "being in love with the idea of being with someone" if I am staying in a relationship despite obvious and/or vexing problems...if I fear being alone more than I fear an unhappy future with this person...if I am a serial monogamist who has never spent a considerable portion of time as a single person. I don't know...the lines sure get blurry! I personally have spent most of my adult life as a single woman. If/when I date someone, it's because I'm really into THEM, not because I really really really want to be in a relationship. I think, anyway. Who knows what's going on at a sub-conscious level. Does that make any sense?
Kamille Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 I think I used to be guilty of being in love with being in love. And then I really fell in love. The difference is... well hard to pinpoint. For me the difference was that when I was in love with being in love, I would put up with absurb behaviour from my boyfriends. I had expectations they would not meet and they had expectations that I couldn't meet. When I really fell in love, I felt a lot more safe, a lot more like myself (the relationship eventually ended because of distance. I had to move and then we were cross-Atlantic). When I was with him, I felt like we were building something together. Like we both wanted to be with each other. And therefore like we could really deal with life's ups and downs together. We respected each other and our differences and worked on making the relationship better, not trying to mold ourselves to each other ideal of what being in love should be. I am now looking for something like that again and am very thankful that I can now sort out the bad apples way faster. Thanks for the question. It reminds that when love does happen, it really is great. And it does happen.
Aloros Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 I'd definitely agree with Kamille. It's hard to distinguish sometimes, especially if you're involved in an "in love with relationship" relationship. My last relationship, towards the end, was more of a "in love with relationship". I was with him because I was afraid of being alone, afraid of never finding someone else, and I felt like a horrible person around him. My current man makes me feel amazing. Our relationship feels so much more natural. I feel like I'm with someone who's always got my back and vice versa. We support one another in our endeavors, and we're both better off for it. I think, in an "in love" relationship, you are a stronger whole than you are alone. You feel like you can be yourself without fear of being shot down, or even worse, fearing that they won't like you. You respect the other person and are not endeavoring to change them into some sort of ideal in your head. You don't think, "I love him/her, BUT..." That's my take, anyways.
Trialbyfire Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 What are the primary differences in feeling and etc between being in love with someone and being in love with the idea of being with someone? Just wonder? I thought I knew the difference with my last experience. It turns out I was in love with someone who didn't exist, someone who pretended to be the man that I always wanted, not perfect but someone who I could spend the rest of my life with. I thought I had met "the one" but it turns out I had shacked up with "the other". So...in effect...I have no idea...
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