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Question for the experienced online daters...


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Posted

I respond to messages from friends as soon as I am able to. That might be right away, within a few hours, or within a few days.

 

When it comes to online dating, my default response time is a couple hours and that gets adjusted higher or lower based on her response time. If she writes back right away then I'll do the same. Likewise if her response time is on the matter of a day or two, then so will mine be.

 

I will say, however, that I like it when girls respond quickly. That's partially because it comes off as being more interested and partially because I spend 95% of my workweek sitting in front of a computer. :D

Posted

Don't respond instantly. That can get creepy. I've had people do that no matter what time of day or not I emailed them. I swear they slept on their computer.

 

My suggestion would be to mix it up....don't have a set pattern.

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Posted
Star Gazer: I would wait 3-5 hours even if you're excited about someone. Don't be too anxious. You might let it go 24 hours the first time. If you wait too long I think a guy gets frustrated, thinks you have lots of other guys or you aren't that interested.

 

Okay, so what I usually do in the first couple emails/messages is wait at least 5 hours or so, maybe even a day. As more and more messages are exchanged, I'm more comfortable with responding more quickly...usually the guy responds more quickly as well. Does that make sense? Should I still avoid that...ya think?

Posted
I respond to messages from friends as soon as I am able to. That might be right away, within a few hours, or within a few days.

 

When it comes to online dating, my default response time is a couple hours and that gets adjusted higher or lower based on her response time. If she writes back right away then I'll do the same. Likewise if her response time is on the matter of a day or two, then so will mine be.

 

I will say, however, that I like it when girls respond quickly. That's partially because it comes off as being more interested and partially because I spend 95% of my workweek sitting in front of a computer. :D

 

Yep...another good suggestion....following their style.

Posted
Okay, so what I usually do in the first couple emails/messages is wait at least 5 hours or so, maybe even a day. As more and more messages are exchanged, I'm more comfortable with responding more quickly...usually the guy responds more quickly as well. Does that make sense? Should I still avoid that...ya think?

 

I think that's pretty common for it to happen that way. But I would try not to become too predictable.

  • Author
Posted
I respond to messages from friends as soon as I am able to. That might be right away, within a few hours, or within a few days.

 

When it comes to online dating, my default response time is a couple hours and that gets adjusted higher or lower based on her response time. If she writes back right away then I'll do the same. Likewise if her response time is on the matter of a day or two, then so will mine be.

 

I will say, however, that I like it when girls respond quickly. That's partially because it comes off as being more interested and partially because I spend 95% of my workweek sitting in front of a computer. :D

 

I'm like you, Tanny.

 

But would you freak out, if, for example, you had established a pattern of a couple-hours response time, and then all of a sudden she instantly responds?

 

I think I'm worrying myself... I stayed home from work today (sick) and responded instantly when he wrote me today because it (pathetically) made my day. Mistake?

Posted
But would you freak out, if, for example, you had established a pattern of a couple-hours response time, and then all of a sudden she instantly responds?

 

Not at all. Actually I would like it because I would take it as a sign that her interest had increased.

 

I think I'm worrying myself... I stayed home from work today (sick) and responded instantly when he wrote me today because it (pathetically) made my day. Mistake?

 

I don't think so. I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. His couple-hours response time may have been on purpose, or it may be because he genuinely can't respond any sooner than that.

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Posted

Thanks, Tanny. I'm a little relieved. If he wigs out, it's because he's crazy. ;)

 

I just realized, though, that I also wrote him a novel. Yikes! BUT he asked me so many questions... ugh.

Posted
Thanks, Tanny. I'm a little relieved. If he wigs out, it's because he's crazy. ;)

 

Indeed. How could anyone not want to date you? :)

Posted
How could anyone not want to date you? :)

He's got a point.

 

Did the novel have a happy ending? Or maybe it was a thriller, and the bunny stopped bouncing. :bunny:

Posted

I respond days later sometimes. I've found it to be a complete waste though. Met one wierdow from it after being on a site for a few months and that's it. Had others call, they leave you a message and sorry but I'm a busy person so I'll return the call the next day or so and then you get no call back lol. Or a few others who after one phone convo I knew there was no way I'd be meeting them any time soon.

Posted
I wouldnt go for on-line dating. It has a stigma its for loosers and rightly so. Find some other hobby instead if you are bored.

I would agree that few on the A-list have an online profile....

Posted

Yikes Star Gazer! We're on the B-list! You know, homely, shy and undesirable! :p You know what they say, online dating is the new "bar" of the 2000s! I just think it's another avenue. However, I must admit I see a lot of fugly girls on there and I always think they have to be online cuz there's no one out there that would ask them out! :laugh: Oh, hell! I'm on there! :p I think Tann pretty much summarized the way that I handle it; don't wait too long at first, respond a little sooner but not so fast that you look like a psycho!

Posted
Thanks for the insult. :mad:

 

I suppose people who engage in conversations online are also losers because they have no one else to talk to, right? Oh wait, YOU'RE online too...whaddyaknow.

 

You're welcome:p

 

Im no goddamn loser. Im in solitary confinement for beating up a prison guard. I have no one else to talk to!!!

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Posted

Ok, the dude is taking WAY too long to respond. I'm over it.

Posted

Sometimes I am really into the on line dating thing. I'll look over alot of profiles and send out tons of emails never just winks. I'll send out tons of emails. Woman who make first contact I ussally get back to right away. Even if it is to say No Thanks.

If I happen to get a really good exchange going with someone. I'll try to meet them as soon as I can. First date is always coffee or a cocktail. Right up front I'll tell them if there isn't any spark whats the point of spending a whole evening together? Most do agree. that way nobody has any unreal expectations.

 

Danielmadr, No wonder you think on line dating is for losers You have bubba, Butch, Louie and the rest of the boys just down the cell block form you.:laugh:

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