Embarking on NC after 3 years of bliss, heartache, and confusion

[SuziwithaQ]

Well, I'm back. When I was going through a difficult time a few months ago, this site helped me so much. Here's my story if you care to read the long post http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t109293/?highlight=suziwithaq

 

4 nights ago it happened again--I found out there were commitment issues on his part--AGAIN. He wanted to know why I put up with him? I wanted to know why he doesn't just break up with me? He claims he loves me--he will always love me-- but knows he will never be able to fully commit to me--so, without trying to analyze it anymore, I am accepting that this relationship is over and it is time to move on. There are some things I haven't been able to do yet--like remove him from my myspace profile--but I haven't gone on because I'm afraid of what I will see.

 

I'm afraid he will call me. I'm afraid he won't. But I just read someone's post before writing this. She claims after 8 months of NC she is finally feeling good. I'm hoping for the same results. I'm also never going to let myself be in a casual relationship again. It just hurts too much. I gave him my heart and he took it. He is selfish, he knows it, I know it so I need to stop wondering "why" or "what if".

 

Whew! That feels better just getting it out. Hoping you all can encourage me to continue no contact and start feeling better about myself again.

 

P.S. I quit smoking 9 weeks ago, and even though my life has been turned upside down and I've put on some weight, I have not started up again--it has taken all of my resolve! Exercise and proper nutrition starts tomorrow! Wish me luck.

[2ndIINone]

quitting smoking is alot harder then quitting an ex... so this should be a piece of cake for ya... besides, both are pretty toxic.

 

myspace... ugh! The root of all evil. Don't view his... in fact.. delete your own.... why should he know your business?

 

He said he can't commit... = interest in others. That's enough to walk... walk fast, don't think or look back no matter how hard it is.

[wlminfla]

NC = hardest thing I've EVER had to do in my life..and believe me I've done some difficult things before. I'm right there with you. Talk to me before you talk to him!

[shockandawed]

Hi Suzy!

 

Yes, it is difficult but you will definitely feel better. My ex fiance and I broke up in December. It has been about a month and a half since I have had any contact with her and I can't tell you how much better I have been doing the last few weeks. Sure, she still creeps into my mind and there are moments I will get down about something. But, they are fewer and fewer and generally don't last very long. I have really began to see her for what she truly is. My guess is you will do the same here.

 

Hang in there. Not sure which is tougher, I quit smoking about 8 years ago and it was difficult but worth it, just as going NC on my ex. You are proving you can handle tough situations. Congrats and keep posting when you feel weak.