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Post here instead of contacting your ex!

polywog

By polywog
in Coping

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Twigyy Established Member

Twigyy

Posted
Posted

Day 11 of official no contact.

 

Today and yesterday was absolutely horrible. I actually went to check your instagram every four five hours, seeing if you actually miss me. I really want to cry everyday , so I would feel better. But I just can't . I don't know why. I've always thought we were perfect for each other.. And the sad truth is that I still miss you every time, realising that I dreamt about you again everyday I wake up, waiting for your messages.. Part of me doesn't hate you for everything that you've done, but common sense doesn't. When will you regret and come back? Time is going so slow, it's only day 11. I want the hugs again...

 

-Twig.

Jonp219 Established Member

Jonp219

Posted
Posted

You ****ing immature, selfish, crazy bitch. You know you could of at least had the forditude to ****ing face me in person and tell me you didn't want to be with me anymore. But no, instead you rather take your frustrations to Twitter and talk **** about me, knowing that you're blocked on my account. The way you executed this break-up made me lose a lot of respect for you, you have a lot of maturing to do, you and me both. I haven't spoken to you in 3 weeks, yet you're still talking **** about me.

I don't feel any ill will towards you, I don't hate you, I don't blame you for the way you feel, but I have a lot of anger built up inside of me, and I have to release on you via Loveshack because hating myself isn't going to bring you back nor will it help me move forward.

 

I hope you're happy, and hell...

 

I still love you

  • Like 1
BlackbirdSong Established Member

BlackbirdSong

Posted
Posted

A,

 

You have totally broken me. I know if you were here you would just keep telling me that you're sorry but there's nothing you can do about it. It's been 34 or 35 or 36 days NC now and I'm pretty sure you're invested in a new relationship, while I've been dying every day. All I do is analyze and reanalyze my moronic behaviors the few weeks before you left me.

 

You left a perfect relationship because I was upset with my life for two weeks. Yes I vented to you, but it was about me and my life. You had nothing to do with it. Yes I'm underemployed at the moment and the past couple of years have been really hard on me, but I see the light at the end of the tunnel. You just couldn't wait for me to get there. You tried as you said, but you couldn't wait anymore. That hurts. You telling me that you wished I had more ambition even hurt more. I have three college degrees and finishing up my fourth in December. I have an amazing job opportunity coming in 19 months, but you couldn't wait. I know that's a long time, but I didn't talk **** when you had a ****ty job and I had a great job. But now that tables have turned and you got a great job and my current job sucks, you can't wait. You said that you can't see me struggle financially anymore and that I complain too much about hating where I live and that I want to move away all the time. I'm so sorry. That stress from my life and my negativity pushed you away. You have high anxiety and I should have known better. I did know better, but my situation and complaining got out of control. I'm sorry.

 

I had a ring for you. I had it since October but painfully returned it two weeks ago. It was one of the most embarrassing things I had to do in my life. I broke down right in the friggin store. You never knew about it. I was waiting until I got the good job to propose. But you couldn't wait. When we broke up you said that you wanted to get married, buy a house, and have a kid now. I said I wanted to marry you and you told me that I wouldn't propose for another four years. You never knew.....and you'll probably never know. I was so close.

 

Sorry I don't have the finances to put money away right now for a house, while that's all you're doing right now. I don't live at home with next to no bills like you. I don't have the job that can support my bills and a savings yet....but it's coming.

 

So you're going to find an awesome guy, get married, have a kid, and buy a house in the next 19 months? I guess it's totally plausible, but you'd do that after a two year serious relationship with me? The man who changed your mind about getting married in the first place.

 

When we met, you told me that you didn't believe in marriage and that you only wanted to have a kid and a boyfriend. Later, you told me that I changed the way you thought about marriage and that you would love to marry me. Well, in the exact same respect you did the same with me regarding having children. I never wanted to have children until I met you. You changed my world. I only wanted children with you. I told you, but I don't think you heard me. You'll never know....I wish you did.

 

I broke down and have been seeing a therapist the past five weeks. She has helped me find the root of my sadness and negativity. It was like a veil had been lifted. I am so much more positive now about my life and my situation. Like I said before, I can see the light. I'm finishing my studies and getting that degree, getting that job, and attaining success. If only you waited, we could have had everything you wanted us to have. I wish you could see my changes and be part of the awesome life I'm going to have. You'll never know...

 

I treated you like gold and you did the same to me. I am forever grateful for everything you have done for me. I love you more than anything in this world and beyond...and I always will. I'm sorry I stressed you out with my life and made you freak out. I'm sorry I wasn't ready financially to get us the things we both wanted. I'm sorry I complained so much. I was really good for two years, minus those last two weeks. I hope you eventually see how amazing we were and return. I can understand why you left, but it doesn't stop me from crying uncontrollably these past five weeks. I would do anything to be with you again. Unfortunately for me, you'll never know...

 

Yours for eternity,

BlackbirdSong

  • Like 1
ApexTitanium Established Member

ApexTitanium

Posted
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Just text you asking to take you out to dinner. Let's see what happens.

I don't think I can do this anymore...

lumberjac Established Member

lumberjac

Posted
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got your text few days ago, I do think youre genuinely wanted to know how I am, I do believe you still care about me. but no I cant be friends with you right now, and pretend that everything is fine.

 

You are a great girl, I still think you are.

I miss you, I miss us.

I love you, and I will always do.

CopingGal Established Member

CopingGal

Posted
Posted

15th months without contact. Fifteen- YAY me. Asswipe! YAY me!

CopingGal Established Member

CopingGal

Posted
Posted (edited)

You never once said you were sorry for anything you did to me. That's because you were not. Sociopaths feel no remorse, so I know you're not sorry. I can't believe all the times I was alone with you and I never knew what a monster you were. Geez, I'm so lucky you did all kinds of things behind my back and pretty much threw me away. I can't even imagine the living hell I would be in being your girlfriend, always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

 

I'm sorry you have no conscious. I'm sorry you are inherently a loser. I'm sorry you truly believe that people merely exist to be used and controlled by you. It must be such a hard life to do so many things behind so many people's backs and to ALWAYS screw people over. You must be the most miserable son-of-a-bitch in existence. You're nothing but a waste of oxygen. You're not even human. You're subhuman. You're just a big fat nothing, a waste of space, a worthless bastard. You're a worthless bastard!

Edited by CopingGal
dyna85 Established Member

dyna85

Posted
Posted

It's amazing how even the sight of your name or someone who looks vaguely like you makes me freak out inside. WTH is wrong with me? Why does everything and everyone remind me of you?

 

Also, lately I have this urge to smash my phone into pieces, thanks to you. I just want to throw it onto the pavement, and never have to look at the damn thing ever again.

 

You have no idea what I would give for some closure. Some peace of mind over this whole ordeal.

HBK3317 Established Member

HBK3317

Posted
Posted

I love you very much D. Too much to put in words. I wish things were different. I wish what happened wouldn't have happened. I wish you come back... I love you so much. I am already half dead my baby please somehow anyhow come back. I will always keep you happy no matter what... Please come back my baby..

KBarletta Established Member

KBarletta

Posted
Posted

Fourth months later, I still miss the little things so much. Making you coffee in the morning. Coming home to see you and hearing about your day. Laughing together at the TV. Holding you before going to sleep. Nobody is here for these things anymore, and it leaves a huge hole. Some days the hole seems impossible to fill.

  • Like 1
smellysocksuni Established Member

smellysocksuni

Posted
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Hi babe,

 

I hope you're OK. I miss you, today.

 

I feel sad that you've gone because you helped me with a lot of things, like the haircut, the clothes... you encouraged me to start my studying again and didn't judge me for having no money, or for having to start again in life. I miss your cooking, and you sitting with me after work. I miss you kissing me when you left for work in the mornings. I miss you.

 

The sad thing about all this is that I know you don't miss me. Your life is so busy, so fun - I don't think you spare a thought for me, any more. I've changed my email, my number, and deactivated every social media site I was on - if you want to contact me you'll have to turn up at my house and I know you won't do that.

 

Your birthday is coming up soon, and so is mine. I wonder if you'll even remember my birthday, you always were a bit forgetful. I still love you very much, I can't believe you don't feel the same anymore. You always said we were "the same person" - but now you're not here. I hope I get over you soon, because being without you is really hard.

  • Like 1
CopingGal Established Member

CopingGal

Posted
Posted
15th months without contact. Fifteen- YAY me. Asswipe! YAY me!

 

Why in the world did I say 15 months? IT's been 28 months. 28, not 15.

  • Like 1
BlackbirdSong Established Member

BlackbirdSong

Posted
Posted

Dearest A,

 

I had a dream about you last night...again. We were at our wedding. You walked down the aisle and I thought I was going to faint. You were so amazingly beautiful. I told you this everyday we were together, but your self-esteem issues made you never fully believe me. Anyways, when we were face to face getting ready to say our vows, I looked into your eyes...and broke down crying. Just like I am right at this moment. The love I felt for you in that moment (albeit in a dream) was so overwhelming that I couldn't keep composed. I have been thinking about that scene all day today. It's my utopia.

 

I prayed to God the past few days for Him to guide you back to me. You know I'm not even religious, but my despair has sent me to find some solace. I know it's selfish to ask for something, but I need a miracle. I try to be strong, but I have realized just how weak I truly am. I love you with every fiber of my being.

 

Yours in life and death,

BlackbirdSong

  • Like 2
losther215 Member

losther215

Posted
Posted

You know, I try not to think about you, I really do. Most days I'm ok with it and I'll only think about you here and there. I think about you whenever I see a happy couple or some glass art of an old building I know you would love to explore. I haven't seen you in so long, I miss you so much. I know it doesn't mean much to you now, but I know that it used to and it still does to me. It used to make everything ok because we knew we had each other. I only ever wanted you to be happy. You deserve so much in this life. You deserve to be with someone who feels and looks at you the way I do right now. Like he would give anything to just be with you because he knows that when you're happy, hes happy, and that's all that matters.

 

I hope that he knows what I know now. I hope he knows you like to sleep in the cleavage so he should always leave room for you there. I hope he knows that you don't like seafood. I hope he knows you love beyonce (or did? idk if you still do). I hope he knows that you love back massages and that you'll want one after a long day even if you say you don't. I hope he knows you want to travel a lot so he should get his visa ready. I hope that he tell you that he loves you everyday. I hope he never breaks your heart because he won't find much better.

  • Like 2
seekingpeaceinlove Established Member

seekingpeaceinlove

Posted
Posted

No, I'm not ok this morning. You came back into my life and I cautiously gave you my heart again.

 

Stupid me.

smellysocksuni Established Member

smellysocksuni

Posted
Posted (edited)

You knew about all those other women breaking my heart and leaving me, but you just did the same. I know you're expecting me to contact you. You said, "No doubt you'll keep emailing me"... No, I won't. You will never hear from me again. Ever. You were supposed to look after my heart, but you've smashed it. And for that, I will never forgive you.

 

Not only that, but you left the cat you supposedly loved with all your heart. All because YOU were miserable. What a selfish individual you are. Don't you know that relationships are not all plain sailing? What is it you're looking for? There is no such thing as a fairytale ending? What will you do when your new partner gets boring? Stops being attentive? Stops wanting sex? Gets depressed? Suffers a major accident? Has to move away? Anything could happen, and what will you do then? Leave? I was depressed - and I needed your support. Things WERE miserable, yes. But all you had to do was stay, wait a couple of months for me to get better. But you left and made things a million times worse for me.

 

You don't know what real love is. Because you're a BPDer and you don't know what love is. You think you do, but you don't. Love is unconditional, it never ends. I still love you, despite all the crap you put me through with this break up. That's love. You think you've found the love of your life on a hook-up app. You really are more stupid than you look, I can't stand you. You will never hear from or see me again. If I ever see you in the street, I will continue walking without a backward glance.

 

At this moment in time, I despise you and pity you immensely.

Edited by smellysocksuni
  • Like 1
Twigyy Established Member

Twigyy

Posted
Posted
You knew about all those other women breaking my heart and leaving me, but you just did the same. I know you're expecting me to contact you. You said, "No doubt you'll keep emailing me"... No, I won't. You will never hear from me again. Ever. You were supposed to look after my heart, but you've smashed it. And for that, I will never forgive you.

 

Not only that, but you left the cat you supposedly loved with all your heart. All because YOU were miserable. What a selfish individual you are. Don't you know that relationships are not all plain sailing? What is it you're looking for? There is no such thing as a fairytale ending? What will you do when your new partner gets boring? Stops being attentive? Stops wanting sex? Gets depressed? Suffers a major accident? Has to move away? Anything could happen, and what will you do then? Leave? I was depressed - and I needed your support. Things WERE miserable, yes. But all you had to do was stay, wait a couple of months for me to get better. But you left and made things a million times worse for me.

 

You don't know what real love is. Because you're a BPDer and you don't know what love is. You think you do, but you don't. Love is unconditional, it never ends. I still love you, despite all the crap you put me through with this break up. That's love. You think you've found the love of your life on a hook-up app. You really are more stupid than you look, I can't stand you. You will never hear from or see me again. If I ever see you in the street, I will continue walking without a backward glance.

 

At this moment in time, I despise you and pity you immensely.

 

Exactly how I feel.

  • Like 1
HBK3317 Established Member

HBK3317

Posted
Posted

I miss you so much even though I know I am not even the last thought on your mind. I bet you must've forgotten everything about me, about us... Wow. I so wish I could too. I want to move on but I just can't no matter how I hard I try and God knows I am trying so hard.

 

Why did this happen with me why?

  • Like 1
BlackbirdSong Established Member

BlackbirdSong

Posted
Posted

Babe,

 

Day 37 and last night was one of the hardest so far. I had reoccurring images of you with another man. They wouldn't go away. .. all night. I can't stop them and they're breaking my heart. I'm so angry at you. But I love you.

BlackbirdSong Established Member

BlackbirdSong

Posted
Posted

Babe,

 

Day 37 and last night was one of the hardest so far. I had reoccurring images of you with another man. They wouldn't go away. .. all night. I can't stop them and they're breaking my heart. I'm so angry at you. But I love you.

ralfgarnett Established Member

ralfgarnett

Posted
Posted

36 weeks ago today you broke my heart, but I cant get you out of my head I still love you and miss you so badly please give us a chance we were so happy once lets try to be happy again I miss you so much my health is suffering but please give us a try

ralfgarnett Established Member

ralfgarnett

Posted
Posted
Exactly how I feel.

 

yep me too selfish bubble headed cow

coltsfan1 Established Member

coltsfan1

Posted
Posted

I hate my ****ing job!!!!!! This **** sucks ball, and has nothing to do with my ex..... I just needed to say it!

  • Like 1
FixItCris Established Member

FixItCris

Posted
Posted

You were in my dreams last night. I can't even remember what I dreamt about, just that you were there. Strange thing is, I don't remember your face anymore, so I never saw it in my dream, but I know it was you.

Maybe it's because I've been thinking about you a lot lately? There is a new woman in my life, a great woman, loving and smart and funny, but I feel like I can't give her all of me because somehow part of me still belongs to you.

I'm going to talk to her tonight, and explain why I'm not as affectionate as I should be. my sub-concious is still in defense mode, thanks to you. I guess if she listens and is ok working through this with me, she's a keeper. If not, I would totally understand too.

some days, I hate having a brain and a conscience.

must be great to be you.

lumberjac Established Member

lumberjac

Posted
Posted

I always wonder if you miss me or think about me from time to time

  • Like 1
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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