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Post here instead of contacting your ex!


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Posted

I thought I met someone really awesome. First person to take my mind off of you and make me feel some sort of hope or realization I'm not doomed to be in love with you for the rest of my life. Now I can't even comfortably post here. The one place I can vent without someone rolling their eyes at me and telling me to move on.

 

Now I regret sending this person what I sent them and I regret telling them what I told them, I wish I could take it all back. I feel dirty about it. I feel used.

 

I wish it all could have worked out between us J and I wish we didn't meet when we were each in such dark places in our lives. You were the only person who has ever genuinely been in love with me or even gave a **** about me. You worshiped the ground I walked on and I felt the same for you and we both ****ed it up.

Posted (edited)

I got a amazing new job, and quit my old ****ty one, its federal so I get benefits and retirement, ive never had a good job and often been jobless or struggling as a single parent on minimum wages.

 

For some reason I just wish I could shove it in my ex's face I remember him once saying "I want a girl who's more ambitious" but I spent all my time working minimum wage to take weeks off and pay for trips for us to be together over years.

 

Well now that I dont have to finance our whole relationship mostly purely on my end ive had the time to put efforts into me and look at me now? **** you

 

:-D

Edited by Omei
  • Like 2
Posted
I just wish I could shove it in my ex's face I remember him once saying "I want a girl who's more ambitious"

So he was a insensitive prick?

  • Like 1
Posted

Last thing I heard from you is "Sorry"

 

You are sorry? Yeah I'm sorry too. Sorry for taking you back. Sorry for believing everything you told me. Sorry for believing that you were actually the girl I was going to marry. (What was I thinking? I'm 20!) Sorry for not being like all of the guys you see on Instagram. Sorry for accepting you through all of your flaws. Sorry.

Posted

I am not sure why today is so hard. A random Tuesday, almost three months after you left. What is it about today? I felt fine yesterday, and the day before. I wish I could stop thinking about you. I hope you're thinking about me.

 

When we were together, I used to tell you every day - YES, EVERY DAY - that you were beautiful and I loved you. You still are, and I still do, only now I don't get to tell you. I wonder if anyone else does.

 

Part of me can't wait for the day that I don't miss you anymore. And part of me is going to be sad when that day comes, because it will mean the end of us.

Posted

You were the sinking ship I could not let go.

 

Today you messaged me about your father feeling better. I respect that man and I feel the use of him in a text message is utterly unfair, such as if I don't reply I become some kind of uncaring monster. I told you we couldn't be friends right now. I told you where my feelings lie and that we should focus on other things.

 

Yet you persist. In what? I don't know. Why am I such a target for you? You don't need me as a friend, you have droves of orbiters, girlfriends, and a sparkling new 'relationship' that you hide from everyone because he's 12 years older than you with a galloping herd of children. Your family disapproves. He's a known womanizer. Your friends all disapprove and tell you he's not right. You don't care because there's so much 'passion'.

 

You knew you lied to me when you gave reasons of things not working out because those very reasons are the reasons you're with who you are now. You say I'm your friend but you insist on hurting me in the most passive and 'innocent' of ways. Little un-addressed love notes laying around where I eat dinner, meant for someone else. Telling me you love me but 'not like that'. Buying me flowers and gifts. Writing me a letter about how much I mean to you and that I'm the most important person in your life outside of family. Why? Why do you carry on like this when not just a few months ago you tell me to "get over you"? So I do and move on. I leave you to your devices just like you wanted. I don't ask for your time. I don't ask for anything. I leave you be and to do everything you say that you wanted to do and yet it's you who can't let me go.

 

You always send me messages at night, like you're trying to let me know you're not out with someone. Whenever sexual talk would come up within the mutual group of friends you'd always make some overt gesture towards me about how you haven't done this or that in so long. Why are you doing this? Are you trying to maintain some sort of value within my mind?

 

You cried and cried when I finally broke your walls down and you came out with all this honesty. I saw the pain and relief in your eyes all at once. Then a sudden waterfall of compliments to me about why you lied and ironically enough you mentioned 'respect'. So much respect that you'd lie to me straight in the face? That you would hide things all this time? You say you keep your distance to try and keep from hurting me, however within your distance you find the closeness for any excuse to try and touch me.

 

You tell me you sleep with my blanket, pillow, and teddy bear because you don't want to be without me. So that a little bit of me is near you when you're in your safe space. You hang bits of me up and around your room like they're some sort of prize or piece of art. I hear about how you parade me around with your words while you're at work. Then in the darkness of night you decide that my bed is where you want to sleep after months of nothing. You tell me you miss me and that any woman would be the happiest woman alive to have me. I tell you this isn't appropriate and suddenly you take on this demeanor of the quintessential kicked puppy.

 

Stop making me the sinner, as if having the feelings that I do and then not having them are both the wrong answer. I've given you what you wanted, now just leave me be.

Posted

I miss you so much. I still cry nearly every day. How could you do this to me?

 

How can you just be over me whilst I cry and cry every day?

 

Were we nothing? Was it just a lie? Was I just one of a list?

Posted

"Hanging On" Ellie gouldin

(feat. Tinie Tempah)

 

You know we can get away

Because I'm calling your name

Every day I feel this pain

But you just turn and walk away

 

I just can't keep hanging on, to you and me

I just don't know what is wrong, with you and me

 

Touch me and then turn away

And put your hands into the flame

Tell me if you feel this pain

Cause I don't want to be a ball and chain, nooo

 

I just can't keep hanging on, to you and me

I just don't know what is wrong

Posted

You used me as your rebound. You intensified our relationship so fast. You told me you loved me and you were scared I was going to leave you. But then you left with a phone call completely out of the blue. And now you went back to your long term boyfriend. I only had a few months with you, but you made me think I was more special to you than I guess I was. And it hurts the way you just cut me out of your life with little explanation and no discussion. And not even to have the respect to talk to me about it in person? After spending 4-5 nights a week together and practically every weekend together? And now - 2+ months later, I haven't heard a word from you. It's like I've fallen off the planet to you. Like I don't matter and don't exist. How can someone turn so quickly on someone? How can you use me as your emotional band-aid and then cut me off and think I'm going to be OK? You are the 3rd woman who I was very attached to in to break up with me in the last 2.5 years. And each one hurt in its own way, but this one hurt really bad. Because I cared and treated you so well - and so often you overlooked that. You were so hot and cold, so emotionally unavailable. And when I tried to discuss it with you, you turned it against me. "Why are you so sensitive? Why can't you just be more confident and not worry about it?" I was bang on, I was very right about you. I was just your band-aid. Your rebound. Your way to move and heal your broken heart. Yet you've left me devastated, immobile and completely heart broken. And I just can't move on. It hurts like you don't even know.

  • Like 1
Posted

I feel so angry at you... I wake up everyday and that's what I feel... anger. I don't wanna feel like that. Fine, you're not a bad person, I know you're not... but the day I begged you.. I will never forget, it was so easy for you.. so easy to say you didn't care, you didn't love me... How can it be so easy for you.

Sometimes I really wish it backfires and you end up missing me so much... and by that time, I hope I feel nothing but indifference.

 

However it's not sane to feel so much anger... I wish to feel nothing. I wish to wish you the best, but I just can't right now.

Posted

Oh gosh I'm too old for this, but you know, I guess posting song lyrics is cathartic in a way.

 

The Good Left Undone

By: Rise Against

 

In fields where nothing grew but weeds

I found a flower at my feet

Bending there in my direction

 

I wrapped a hand around its stem

And pulled until the roots gave in

Finding there what I've been missing

And I know

 

So I tell myself, tell myself, it's wrong

There's a point we pass

From which we can't return

I felt the cold rain of the coming storm

 

All because of you, I haven't slept in so long

When I do I dream of drowning in the ocean

Longing for the shore, where I can lay my head down

I'll follow your voice, all you have to do is shout it out

 

Inside my hands these petals browned

Dried up fallen to the ground

But it was already too late now

 

I pushed my fingers through the earth

Returned this flower to the dirt

So it could live, I walked away now but I know

 

Not a day goes by when I don't feel this burn

There's a point we pass

From which we can't return

I felt the cold rain of the coming storm

 

All because of you I haven't slept in so long

When I do I dream of drowning in the ocean

Longing for the shore where I can lay my head down

I'll follow your voice, all you have to do is shout it out

 

All because of you

All because of you

 

All because of you I haven't slept in so long

When I do I dream of drowning in the ocean

Longing for the shore where I can lay my head down

Inside these arms of yours

 

All because of you I believe in angels

Not the kind with wings no, not the kind with halos

The kind that bring you home

When home becomes a strange place

I'll follow your voice, all you have to do is shout it out

Posted

Kill me please. Release me from this pain and torture. Please don't hurt me anymore, just kill me

Posted

This night seems so heavy to me. I don't think I will be able to survive this night, nor I want to. Heart is beating so fast, and tomorrow is such an important work day for me. Soon people at work will start noticing that I am not working that much. I will lose my job too.

 

Only this morning I thought I was healed and this is what it comes too. I know you don't ever think of me, nor do I ever cross your mind. I just wanted 5 minutes from you to say few lines. I would give everything that I own in this world for this 5 minutes. I beg you, please give me one final conversation, just 5 minutes. Or else please wish me death.

Posted

I'd love to know what you thought of as you saw me walking down the hall today. While you watched me sulking my head in defeat, afraid to look you in the eyes. My knees almost buckling from them shaking so much. Someone who tried to give you everything, and just couldn't give you enough. Do you regret your decision at all? How did you have me fooled for so long?

 

Thursdays were our date days. I wonder what you're doing right now. Are you thinking of me? Do you think you made a mistake? Well, probably not. You told me you aren't looking back. I'll take your word for it. :(

  • Like 1
Posted
This night seems so heavy to me. I don't think I will be able to survive this night, nor I want to. Heart is beating so fast, and tomorrow is such an important work day for me. Soon people at work will start noticing that I am not working that much. I will lose my job too.

 

Only this morning I thought I was healed and this is what it comes too. I know you don't ever think of me, nor do I ever cross your mind. I just wanted 5 minutes from you to say few lines. I would give everything that I own in this world for this 5 minutes. I beg you, please give me one final conversation, just 5 minutes. Or else please wish me death.

 

What are you saying? Are you planning on killing yourself?

Posted
What are you saying? Are you planning on killing yourself?

 

No, I am not planning to kill myself, but I am feeling a physical pain inside me. Feels like someone is pressing my chest so hard. I feel restless and breathless.

 

I know if I kill then it would end all the pain, but I am not thinking of that. I am just feeling helpless, miserable and pretty sad.

Posted

I don't know why, but today I miss you terribly. All I have are good memories, and bitter regrets. I miss you, and I always will.

Posted

Duplicate post..but I thought worthy of a repeat.

 

I'm going through this right now (breakup).

Ex broke up with me on New years days..after having spent christmas with my mom and sister and myself.

It was completly unexpected, as there had only been a few minor blowups.

She just said "there's a problem" and that she "needed her space".

She mentioned "We can still see each other. I just need my space."

I had very strong suspicions she was having an affair with her married boss (the problem?).

I have been NC since new years day. She did text me 5 days later saying she "hoped I was doing Okay". I didn't repsond.

It has been difficult. The thing that has helped the most is basically, I got mad. She dumped me on new years day, after my family had gotten her gifts and met her (the worst part).

We did not see each other on new years eve because I was working and was very much looking forward to celebrating with her new years night. She texted me on new years day saying she was going to her (female) friends house that night and "maybe tomorrow we can get together and talk". She was willing to let me stew for 24 hours. I later thought she was most likely not going to her friends, but to her bosses house (as she had done for his birthday).

So, yeah. Get mad. Stand strong. Do something. Realize she is a total heartless, selfish B***h and get back out there. There are better women. Always. Also, use EVERY breakup as a learning example.

If you are analyzing your actions and hers from when you went out and later, while grieving, see (as you always do) things that you KNEW, but were in denial at the time (because you may not have wanted to sour things). Then, teach yourself never to do those again. IF you suspect a mate of cheating, lay it on the line then. DON'T think...ACT. Ask questions. Don't lay in idle and await the pain.

NC...all the way.

Posted

I still think about you. I'm finally feeling better again, but sometimes I do miss you... and feel this heavy thing on my chest...

Why is it so hard to let you go... I keep telling myself, everytime you miss her, just remember she told you she didn't love you.. but still, this stupid feeling remains.

I want to feel nothing. I really do.

Posted
No, I am not planning to kill myself, but I am feeling a physical pain inside me. Feels like someone is pressing my chest so hard. I feel restless and breathless.

 

I know if I kill then it would end all the pain, but I am not thinking of that. I am just feeling helpless, miserable and pretty sad.

 

Thank goodness. I want you to be able to let things out, but a post like the one you put up before scares and worries people who read it.

Posted
Duplicate post..but I thought worthy of a repeat.

 

So, yeah. Get mad. Stand strong. Do something. Realize she is a total heartless, selfish B***h and get back out there. There are better women.

NC...all the way.

 

It's not fair to go looking for other women when you have all of this fresh anger and sadness toward your ex. It's not fair to other woman at all to be used like that. Men need to find strength by being alone and healing instead of using women has rebounds. I was that woman and didn't even know it until 3 years had gone by and found out my ex had been purposely not spending lots of time with me under the lies of his handicapped son and a busy work schedule. Turns out I was just a rebound and he was looking for other women. When he found that women, his made his "work schedule" get even more busy, so I left him. He then threw this new woman in my face every chance he got. He spent lots of time with her, so much more than he ever spent with me. Now he goes from woman to woman bringing destruction wherever he goes.

Posted

Another day goes by Lyriq where I do miss you and just want to hold you, embrace you, smell you're intoxicating scent, and just love you. Its almost been three months since the break up that you chose. I will never understand why you left me for your ex who left you and broke your heart.

 

I helped mend your broken heart, loved you even when you couldn't love me back. Waited patiently for you to give me your all, eventually you did, but look where that led. I was there to hold you and reassure you when you felt sad, or scared. I gave you my love willingly, and never doubting you even after some red flags I saw.

 

I was the roots to your tree, I've always been true, supporting, loving, and was always there for you and only you. If only you were the roots to my tree, but you were a branch, something that nursed of me, growing and gaining what I offered. Then the branch snapped and you left me high and dry, using me just to be nurtured back to health. Oh I wish you could have been the roots to my tree, I wanted to spend my life with you, but I am forced to be the roots for someone else who in return, can be the roots for me as well.

 

I wonder if you will ever realize what you had, a lot of girls want a man like me, someone who is giving and loving, but also not a push over or a doormat. A man who stays true to his word, and raises is voice when he needs to.

 

Me and your ex are very different one is mature the other is immature. One treated you the way you should have been treated all the way through the end, the other just only in the beginning and fell short in the end. I hope you open your eyes and can tell which one you are with now.

 

I miss you but this was your choice, and you have to live with it when things go sour.

Posted
No, I am not planning to kill myself, but I am feeling a physical pain inside me. Feels like someone is pressing my chest so hard. I feel restless and breathless.

 

I know if I kill then it would end all the pain, but I am not thinking of that. I am just feeling helpless, miserable and pretty sad.

I'm sorry you're feeling such pain. But ending your own life won't relieve the pain. You won't feel the relief, you'll be dead and feel nothing. Other people will then feel a horrible pain. Sorry for not wording that right, but just remember that time heals all wounds. It does, I promise you. You just have to ride it out. You can do it.

  • Like 1
Posted

Hi stranger, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. Can we please just try things again? I can't do this :(

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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