Post here instead of contacting your ex!

January 3, 2015

If only it were that easy, none of us would be on here and there'd be no need for the forum. I wish that were the case.

Thanks Jingle14.

JFReyes, I know you meant to be helpful but your response did kinda sting a bit. I guess because I know the lack of response is a response in and of itself, but it really really hurts and I can't seem to shake the pain. Day in and day out it plagues me. It's being brushed off as if I mean nothing but also not realizing the person could be so cold. It's literally the worst feeling.

January 3, 2015

JFReyes, I know you meant to be helpful but your response did kinda sting a bit. I guess because I know the lack of response is a response in and of itself, but it really really hurts and I can't seem to shake the pain. Day in and day out it plagues me. It's being brushed off as if I mean nothing but also not realizing the person could be so cold. It's literally the worst feeling.

Sometimes people keep quiet because they do not know what to say, sometimes they are ashamed, sometimes it are just asses. Until 9 months ago I was once a month asked if I enjoyed myself. What to answer to that if you are pushed away (she had became ill). At first I was happy I heard something. But to be honest it drove me just as crazy as hearing nothing, as she did not want to talk about her situation (she was very avoidant and apparently used to being like that).

Edited January 3, 2015 by Itspointless

January 4, 2015

There are so many emotions swirling around my head. When my first girlfriend left me, I wanted so badly to work it out because I loved her...but deep down I knew there was no saving it. There was too much damage. There was no trust. Everything was broken beyond repair. It ran it's course.

With you baby, I feel the exact opposite. Deep down I feel like this shouldn't be the end. That we should be together. The breakup was necessary for me to work on my personal transformation, but a huge part of me feels like fate will bring us back together. I don't know how, but it's my gut feeling and usually my gut feeling is right and I hope it is this time.

It's not loneliness, and it's not that I feel like I won't be able to find someone else. I feel this way because I believe in us and that strange magic we developed during our short time together.

Sometimes I feel like I should have fought for you when we split. I wonder if that's what you wanted. I didn't put up a fight because I wanted to respect your decision, even if I feel like it was wrong. I wonder if you want me to reach out to you. I wonder if you ever think of me and what could have been. I wonder if any part of your heart regrets it. I know how you felt about me and I know what I'm capable of in a relationship. I don't want to sound cocky babe, but you're going to have one hell of a tough time finding someone else who will treat you as well as I did.

I don't know babe, it's up to God's plan, but this separation just doesn't feel right to me. It never did. I wonder if I'll ever hear from you again. I hope I do, and I hope it's tonight. We could be great together pumpkin, but it's not my choice to make. Come back. We can start over again and see that original, captivating potential through.

Edited January 4, 2015 by The Poster

January 4, 2015

Dear ___________,

I know you're not my ex. You're my best friend who I love but you only see me as a friend. You said you could never see me that way and that even if I was the perfect girl you had in your head, you'd still never go out with me because I'm your friend. You have no idea how much that hurts when I care about you so much. I'm in NC because I don't know what else is more painful - being "just friends" and hearing you talk about other girls and bring them around, or ignoring you completely and not being able to tell you that I finally did an undulation in belly dance, or that I took my clothes to be altered since I lost some weight. This sucks. I miss you. I wish you would've given me a chance.

January 4, 2015

My ex ended it a month ago over something pathetic (social media) we we're together for about 3 years in total with one major break up 12months ago.

In the beginning I begged, pleaded, emailed until I realised it was pushing her further away so I've been no contact for about 7 days.

She blocked me on everything, what's app, Facebook, Twitter. So it made it slightly "easier" however she keeps turning up in my life.

Last night me and my buddy were at my local pub (2 doors away from my house) and a few of her friends were there. Next thing I know my ex has driven 20mins from her house, parked her car outside my house and come in the pub.

She isn't dressed up so I figure she's come to:

A) pick a friend up

B) try get my attention

As I said she lives a 20min drive away all her friends were drinking and it just made no sense why she turned up. When I go home to get more money she is stood in my kitchen speaking to my mum. I ask to talk and she immediately leaves. She drives off and I break no contact, I'm not trying to get her back I honestly just want to end it properly (as she did so over text).

She replied but was argumentative saying "please accept it's done I don't want to talk" she said she parked on a main road (she always made a point of it being her parking space - and the pub is my local where everyone can expect to find me) and only came to pick her friend up oh and apparently my mum wanted to talk to her.

My mum later said she wanted to be friends in the future but not yet - I will not agree to being friends with someone I clearly still love. Please can someone explain her behaviour? She ended it so why keep interrupting my life if I left her alone?

Thanks

January 5, 2015

Hey baby

I know that you weren't ever my baby in the way I thought you were, and my head now knows that. But still I have heard about you lately and I desperately just want to come and save you.

You're drinking again, you've got people worried again, you're latching yourself onto (rather thick and mindless) people that don't know you so you can create another false personality, drain them off all they have and then move onto the next stage. Whilst it hurts you are chasing this girl, I also see that you are once again trying to fill an emptiness in you. Today I am more concerned for her - she is so young and you are a predator and it's just not fair what I know you are going to end up doing to her.

And yet.....if it wouldn't be the worst thing I ever did FOR MYSELF, I would be driving to find you, pulling you into my arms, stroking your hair and telling you that you could cry. You are safe.

But I can't. I am now avoiding mutual friends because it's just not right for me to know anything about your life. I can't stop this self-destruction of yours. It doesn't change that you lied. I can't make you see that there is a better way to deal with things than what you are doing now. But goddamn do I want to tell you that I have you all figured out, good and bad, that you are not as good a liar as you thought you were.

Above all else, I would do anything to wipe our memories of the last 2 months so that I could have one more weekend with you. Lay next to you and stroke your beard. Stare into your eyes, whisper sweet nothings to eachother in Dothraki, make love to eachother as only we could, laugh about pretty trees and me wanting to hug your bones. Breath in the smell of you and hear your laugh rumble in your chest as I rest my head in your nook. Watch your eyes shine as we talk about the kids and how funny they were last week. Then pull you into my nook and wrap my arms and legs around you and protect you and just love you so fiercely. In that moment we would be infinite once more, unbreakable.

I miss you. I wish this was anything but the way it is.

January 5, 2015

Bottom line, I'm ashamed of myself for contacting you all those times even though most of those times I was in a black out and did not know I did. And for responding to you every time you contacted me, which was more than I contacted you. I'm mad at myself because I always let you get off so easy. I never told you how much you hurt me and how much I hated who I was because you always made me feel so worthless. I was never completely honest with you. Instead I was lonely and wanted attention and even some sort of validation. I've been so back and forth, up and down. Shame on me for all the things I've done and said over the last year regarding you. Shame on me for not loving and respecting myself more. I mean, Jesus you've been in a full blown RS with another girl this entire time. I'm so very ashamed of myself and hope God forgives me for being so desperate. So alone. So confused. 2014 was brutal. I was going through so much financially and emotionally. First with our f'd up RS and the way you BU with me, then my DUI, then my Grandmother died, then with the realization of my codependency with alcohol...I was a wreck for so long. I know for a fact that I do not love you anymore and that I never want to see or hear from you again. You are not a good person in the least. You are so deceitful and hurtful. You used me and threw me away as if I were nothing at all. Things might be going your way but sooner or later you'll be brought to your knees. At some point your guilt will catch up with you and you'll know what it feels like to suffer as I once did for you.

I wish we'd never met. And that's the truth. I never said it because I thought my feeling that way meant that I was a bitter, nasty, mean person but it doesn't. It just means I'm finally being honest about everything. With myself. Yes, a part of me craves the chance to tell you all of this someday. Because I made you think I just loved you and wanted you back when I didn't. Not even when I really believed I did. How screwed up is that?

January 5, 2015

It is 7 months since you broke up with me over a text message. I am not feeling any better, and each day I have cried. Though I cry only in the dead of night but I still do. All these days I have asked nothing but just for 5 minutes of phone call to end things but you didn't give me that.

I didn't want this call for getting back or asking anything but just to make me feel that I meant something to you, it was not fake between us, I didn't have figment of relationship between us and I was not an object to be used and discarded. However you not only never agreed to talk to me, you ignored all my calls, text messages and mail. How cruel and cold hearted you could be? How could you ever love anyone with this cruel and cold heart.

Where is justice, God, and Karma in this world ? Remember you were the one who slept with two guys, I never cheated on you. You were the one who lied about it for six months, it was not me. I agreed with you and moved to this country and you could not find 5 minutes for me.

I can't take this anymore. This cruelty, injustice, cheating, lying does not make me feel like living anymore. I am living the life of a dead man.

January 6, 2015

Hey baby

You win.

I hope you find what you're looking for. I did but it wasn't looking for me.

Anha zhilak yera norethaan, shekh ma shieraki anni

January 6, 2015

Don't do much just imagine yourself in my place. How would you feel if I would treat you in the way you are treating me now ? Can any human be as cruel as you are ? and you are the one who is having fun and joy.

Why did you ask me out that Friday ? Why did we ever meet. It was only one week and if we would not have met that Friday then none of this would have ever happened. You would be happy, and I would have been happy. Accept your responsibility and give me a decent end. Or come and kill me, I can't take this torture anymore. Not anymore.

January 6, 2015

I miss my old apartment, the country, the sea, the feel of snow, Christmas, New Year, friends, food. I threw all of that away and moved here as we had agreed. And just a day before I had to move you broke up on a text message. I am stuck here and while you are back there on your Christmas break and enjoying your time.

Remember the time we had started to go out together, and I was just having fun with no feelings - you made me develop feelings. I asked you if you want me to do that, you said - yes. Now I curse myself to be so foolish to go weak for you, fall in love with you. How could I trust you? Why didn't you tell me in the beginning that you are the one who will lie and who will cheat. Those guys with whom you cheated on me, you still talk to them, go out with them, and cruel only to me. Your friend who called me names on twitter - you put your picture together on facebook and twitter for me to see.

I question this world, I question if there is ever going to be fair play, is there going to be justice.

Sometimes I wish to destroy my life and make it a mission to teach you a lesson, but I still love you, and can't even think anything bad for you. All I want is just 5 minutes of phone call - 7 months, how can you not give me that?

January 6, 2015

Seems like the best way I'm able to make any progress toward my healing is to somehow make myself feel better then him or elevate myself over him. I'm not really a narcissist or an elitist of any of those things but will do just about anything right now to get over him! So here it goes...

You are a carpet layer with a high school diploma that you barely even earned. You have been doing the same job for 14 years without a raise and there is no hope that will change for you because you have also not had a drivers license in 14 years and your boss has to cart you around everywhere. You complain about your physical health, your back, etc. but we both know that you are going to end up disabled and unemployable at the rate you are going. What sort of future do you have? You're an alcoholic and a pot head and you justify it by saying it helps you deal with your PTSD from being in the military. You chat with all these military guys on FB groups and lead them to believe you had such a rough life. You never even saw combat! And you partied your way through the military. Although I respect all service people and their sacrifices, you need to stop trying to stop elevating yourself and your service and acting like others, like your own brothers, service time didn't matter. They served too and although they also didn't see combat and were in different branches, you can't say you were better then them.

Every relationship you've ever had with a woman ended horribly. I'm the first woman in your life, and there have been several, that has never cheated on you. I used to feel sorry for you about that - now I understand why they did. You are so emotionally starving and abusive to women that they go elsewhere for some sort of love attention. They've cheated on you with your friends - that should tell you something about how much your friends even think about you.

You use people. You let everyone else pay your way and you will lie and cheat to get your way. You would make comments about how not everyone could be educated and have a good job like I do - I wasn't born with these things - I WORKED for these things! You would tell me to get over my husband's death - I was with the man 20 years and had 4 children with him. He was amazing - you don't get over that very easily - maybe never. You were jealous of the life I had with him and somehow felt entitlted to the life he and I had built.

You didn't even pay child support for your own son and even when he was with you, he'd be out running the streets while you were at home watching your beloved tv shows and living your life through facebook.

I don't know why I ever let someone like you in my life - I will never understand and neither will my friends or family. We come from different leagues or classes I guess if there is such and that made you insecure enough to cut me down, criticize everything about me and accuse me of things. You made me keep the tracker turned on on my phone 24 hours a day!!! I will never know why I gave a year of my life to you. I will never know why I came to love you like I did in such a short time. I will never come to understand why I'm having so much trouble getting over you. I am a caring, compassionate, generous person who forgives to easily and loves too much and maybe I thought I could save you. But I'm done trying. I just know that I have to move on and get over you because I'm worth way more then the hell you have put me through this past year and especially these last couple of months. I won't give you the opportunity to lie to me or lead me on anymore. You keep your life and I'll take mine back too.

January 7, 2015

I'm so weak. I told myself to stop looking at you on Facebook, but I still do it every day. I tried putting the block on you, but it didn't last. Like I said, I'm weak.

I miss you every day.

January 7, 2015

How can you just go on like you never knew me? Am I that much of a speck of dust in the grand scheme of your life?

January 7, 2015

A friend told me last night you had posted a photo of you and your new man.

You never ever posted any photos of us when we were together.

I guess this just proves I really was nothing to you.

I haven't looked at it, and I won't look at it.

I hope he treats you the way you deserve.

Lying, cheating bitch.

January 8, 2015

Thank you for leaving me. I know the self improvements I made and the fire and drive it gave me will make me a great catch in my next relationship. Please do not contact me as I no longer trust, love or respect you. Best of luck in your future endeavors.

January 8, 2015

Just checking in here. Don't have much to say to the girl. Haven't spoken to her in over a year.. haven't wanted to, either.

Feels good. So long, sucker.

January 9, 2015

I tried treating you best I could knowing your past. To think that you would turn around and be so cold hearted towards me and not even try. I'm a guy and that's what guys do right? I'm sorry if you think all guys are alike.

I'm sorry that your past was difficult, but to turn around and judge me for what they did. You never really gave me a chance did you? Did you know my past was just as hard? Did you know you I gave you chance?

I'm paying for the mistakes of others. Its very unfair to me, very hurtful. I would never imagine hurting you like they did. Yet, you did the same to me. I'm trying to hold back my tears but I cant. I want to not hate you, I want to wish you the best but its so very very hard.

January 9, 2015

Dear Jot,

It would have been so much better if you were someone I could hate. The thing is, you were everything to me. I don't understand how I would be able to hate someone I have no grudge against. Yet, due to our incompatibility, we couldn't be together. I want you to know how much I miss you, how tough it is without you by my side and how scary the world had suddenly become. But it isn't right to let you know that because I told myself I wanted to become a confident person. I wanted to become someone people could respect. I wanted you to be able to see a me who was worthy of your respect.

It was a dilemma. I loved you but at the same time I felt trapped. I felt like a bothersome weed that could do nothing but be a burden to you. I had no goals, no self-esteem and I felt like I was threading on eggshells. You had a temper and you knew it. I was always afraid I would set it off somehow. You would scold me and say mean things and they would destroy me. They gradually melted down my self-worth into nothing. Yet, I couldn't hate you. Because only I know that deep down you were a kind person. You loved me and treated me with care and concern. You just had a bad mouth.

But it still wounded me. And slowly, shouldering all your expectations were too much for me to bear. I might be clumsy and clueless and a little bit weak-willed. But I wish you'd to see my good points too. I wish I would've been stronger so that I could be someone you'd respect the opinions of, someone of equal intellect.

I know I put myself down so much that I'm not worthy of any respect from you or anyone. I never used to be like this. That's why I ended it. Because I realised I can't keep being this way. Being with you made me feel safe. It made me happy that we had such a deep connection that you'd know what I was thinking right away just by looking at me. You'd know I was worried about something just by spending time with me. You'd notice and you'd ask me earnestly what was bothering me. And then you'd hold me and ask me about my problems. But there was one thing I couldn't ever tell you - You were one of my problems.

I'm voicing it here precisely because I couldn't tell you without getting a full rebuttal and a good deal of your harsh words and your stubbornness to even accept what I am saying and feeling. Because your feelings and your way of thinking were always the most important that you failed to see my S.O.S.

I'm happy and yet I'm sad. But right now I'm more sad than happy. It's painful without you but I don't want to waste either of our time. Unless something drastic happens, we won't be happy together. I don't know how long I'd be able to suck it up and endure your temper, especially when it's directed to me. It's wrong to ask you to change because I know how hard change is. And it would be unfair because I can't change myself to become perfect for you either. Maybe I haven't tried hard enough but... I did put my all in this relationship, even though it may have been taken for granted.

You finally used the wish I gave you the year we first got together. And I will try my best to fulfill it. I love you. You were my bestfriend, my solace, everything. Even though I can't be the one to grow old beside you, I wish you'll find someone who would regardless. Thanks for everything.

January 9, 2015

Good for you! Starting the new year off by no longer contacting me! I am relieved. Whether you're ignoring me or you deactivated your email accounts (which I doubt) it's a good thing. Very good. I hope to meet someone I'm infatuated with soon because that's the only way I'll leave your sorry @$$ alone. God I really hate myself for being a drunken buffoon. I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell. It's funny that I told you you sucked though. haha Because YOU DO!

January 9, 2015

I hope you drown in your own misery bitch.

January 9, 2015

I hate you.

Edited January 9, 2015 by dyna85

January 9, 2015

Hey babe,

I wish you knew how much you have inspired me. I was in a dark place when we met a handful of months ago and you showed me a light I was too blind to see myself. Because of you I am more confident and have higher self-worth. You showed me I didn't need to compare myself to others and that just because I wasn't where I wanted to be, it didn't mean I was lost. That was so important to me and it was a catalyst to the personal transformation I've been on now. To improve my mentality and get my life back on track.

I think the reason I'm really struggling with you breaking it off is because you are exactly the kind of person I want in my life. The kind of person I want to spend my life with. Someone who inspires me and helps me see the greatness in me when I couldn't always see it myself. I wish I could tell you these things, but I just don't know how and I'm not sure if you'd even want to hear from me. I hope to reconnect someday so I actually can tell you these things. Right now though, I'm just trying to keep pushing and improving and leave it up to God's plan.

As much as it sucks and hurts, I know this had to happen for me to wake up and actually take action to change my life instead of just thinking about it. I don't care that our relationship wasn't very long, I love you. Even though you don't know it.

January 10, 2015

I take back what I said. You sly cheating bastard. How could you touch another woman and have sex with her then return to me and hug me with those hands you used to touch her body. How can you even bring yourself to say you love me. Why must you continue to break me even more? I really feel like going over to slap you, dump all the things you've given me onto you and post screenshots of the texts onto facebook to let EVERYONE see the kind of person you really are. But I won't, because I don't want to sink as low as you.

I really trusted you. Thank you for teaching the naive me about the real world. Now please get out of my life and never come back.

January 10, 2015

I really miss you today. I want so badly to Hi, but I have to keep away from you. Even though I feel happier and less stressed over our relationship, I still miss you and wish that we can work things out. I have been feeling so angry with you because I feel like you forced us here. I feel like your lack of action caused this happening. This would not be happening if you would have just did what you said you would do. Now, I am here feeling all types of emotions, and mostly frustrated with you because I just don't understand you at all. I just wanted to say I miss you, and I hope that you are coping better than me right now. I hope you are having a good day.

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