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[Mandy26]

Today has been a bit of a rough day. I have thought of you often today... So sad . Thank goodness the duration of days without these thoughts are greatly increasing in length. It's been awhile since I felt like this or thought of you in this way. I. chalk it up to grieving and healing. Today I miss you, today I am sad...today I wished I still was with you... Wish I didn't gave these thoughts

[love2ride]

I miss you. I just want you to be warm towards me again. Just take me back and make the pain stop. I just wanna know you miss me

[Xemyd]

Same here Xemyd, broken up from a LDR, and I still found myself loving and missing him after 8 months. I'm getting scared....

 

 

 

I'm at a year and three months.... I still feel the same as day one.

[NomiMalone]

It's been days since you left and I still can't believe you're gone. Aren't we going to Vienna in April? Please text me and tell me you miss me, because I miss you so so bad.

[DSP]

You tell our 3 year old how you are going to marry him? WTF is wrong with you? You talk to your children that way after just leaving their father that is still very much involved in their lives? Yeah I'm sure you just started talking to him after you left me what has it been 4 months now? Lying piece of trash. I can only hope you stop at my house one day and drop off the children. Just go. Just give me my babies and leave.

 

You threw away a good honest loving man, a stable life, a beautiful family to be with some guy you really don't know and now you are going to marry him. I don't even know how that is going to work out. You can't take our children with you and he can't move here with his. This piece of trash is just going to enable your erratic behavior and ****ty parenting skills. You are the best thing that ever happened to him. He doesn't care about your children they are not his.

 

You know what? You were never happy. Never. You sat on the couch or laid around sad and depressed your entire life. You never had a hobby. The only friends you had were your trashy cousins. It seems you were eternally sad. The house was a disaster, you rarely cooked, made the eldest do all the chores, it took you three years to paint two rooms in the house and it looks like hell too. You barely worked at your job. The list is endless...

 

The one month you took anti depressants was the least stressful month of my life with you. You were too damn proud to stay on them. In your mind you don't have a problem. I remember many times telling you it's not my job to make you happy you have to find it in yourself. I tried many times to get you to do something with me it didn't last more than a week.

 

I could never understand why you were never happy. The one or two times you would begin to do something that made you happy you almost looked scared when you began to feel the joy and sense of accomplishment in doing it for yourself. I still was so ****ing proud of you for trying. I just wanted you to be happy. I wanted you to know what it was like to feel good and have a sense of accomplishment.

 

When packing your things it was seeing the left over remnants of those hobbies that broke me. I don't know why seeing those broke me in half. I was so proud of you I thought you were going to be OK and we'd be happy again. I thought that when you finished college. I thought that when you had our second child. I thought that when you got promoted. I thought you'd be happy and we'd be happy together.

 

I could not give you enough support to fix you. You told me many times to keep giving you support that you need that more than anything. It was like a bottomless pit no matter how many compliments you got it wasn't enough. I didn't understood why until now.

 

Fine you've left and are moving on to your temporary happiness. It's the collateral damage that you don't think about that pisses me off the most.

 

You destroyed our family and emotionally and psychologically damaged our children. Selfish destruction that you will see one day.

 

One day you are going to regret this. I care about you and I want you to be fixed. I am just a man that was your partner. I am not qualified to fix you. I ****ing hate you for doing this to our children. They deserve better.

[Chrystopha]

I understand that it would have been difficult for us to live with the guilt and in the end I did exactly what you wanted and left you alone. I sometimes feel like I should've stepped up and not let you go so easy. Maybe I should've shown you how much you meant to me.

 

I know there is no way we will ever be together, but I still think about you every day. Some days are better than others and some days I break down. I miss you dearly and I'll always love you.

[love2ride]

I love you and the kids. It sucks we are not together this time of year. I miss you guys.

[OneConfuzedGuy]

I thought we would end up getting married and a house and everything. I guess I thought we would never break up. I thought we were so strong. Maybe I shouldn't have thought nothing could change. Even though we grew apart the last 6 months. I still believe we could work through anything. I guess you got tired of me bringing up past issues. I just wanted them to be settled before we got married. That is my fault, I should have let go and asked you to be my wife. I am sorry, I think I pushed you away. I know you said it takes 2 in a relationship and its not all on me, but I know what I could have done better and that is the part that hurts the worst. Because maybe then I wouldn't have put you in a position for you to act out as well and become distant. I didn't think 6 bad months would destroy 4.5 years of what we had. I really never thought it would end up like this. If I could just spend one more day with you....... but now I feel as if I will never see or hear from you again. I know I am hurting way more then you are. You are probably moved on by now while I am stuck writing messages to you that you will never read. I guess I will see you in my dreams..........which suck because it brings it all back and I come crashing down again. I just want peace and happiness. Right now I have neither.

[The Poster]

I'm really hurting today. My soul is crying for my heart's relief. I still believe in us. I still believe we could be great. We only dated a few months, but that was more than enough for me to feel something magical between us. I wonder if I should have fought for you somehow, instead of just wishing you good luck. I wonder if I'll ever hear from you again. No one can treat you as well as I can. No one can give you undying love, protection and loyalty like I can. I hope through God, you can somehow hear this message and think about what we could be together if only you had faith to see it through.

[me85]

You haven't contacted me in 2 weeks. I'm not sad about it, but I'm something about it. I wish I knew what I felt about it. I only know I shouldn't feel anything about it at all. I guess I thought that no matter what you'd always be somewhat a part of my life, if only a small part of it. I could never imagine you and I really truly saying goodbye to each other. I loved you so much. More than I've ever loved anyone else before. You were my very best friend. I may be over you but I still think of you all throughout everyday. You moved on and found love again but I just don't think I'll be ready to do that again for a long time. I'm sure you'll marry the girl you're with. And that's whatever. I have no concern with that. I only wish you would've at least apologized to me sincerely and given me the respect I deserved. How could you have ever treated me so horribly the way you did? All I ever did was love you.

[Cherrybreeze]

I love you, and I hate that I love you. I hate that you wouldn't listen to me when you got mad. Things had been going better than ever, the best since we met, and yet you automatically think the worst of me, and demonize me, and run like you do from everything. You have such walls up, and think that no one has ever really cared about you. You've acknowledged that I do, and that that's even hard to accept, how do you know not realize that it's still true?

 

I haven't texted you because I'm waiting for you to do it. I know you won't, and I hate you for that, too. I hate you for not trying, not talking, not giving me the time to sit and talk. I hate you for breaking my heart. But I can't be angry with you, even though I know you held me to an impossible double standard. My guy friend, you think I was cheating with, but I've SEEN what you have said and do (on your computer and phone, anyway), so how can you do this to ME?? I made the decision not to look in your phone anymore, I should never have to begin with, and never would have until you did it to me. I made the conscious decision to believe in YOU rather than something I may misinterpret. You, on the other hand, picked up MY phone and went through it WHILE I WAS SLEEPING IN THE SAME ROOM. You forwarded the messages you didn't like to yourself, and for what? As a reminder to hate me? Didn't you ALSO see how many texts were about YOU? And how happy I was, especially as things improved with us? Somehow you choose to ignore that.

 

We have things upcoming that we've done together for months. I don't know how to feel when they get here if I haven't heard from you. My birthday is shortly after that, and I feel nothing like celebrating. None of my Christmas decorations are going up this year, because I just don't give a damn. My life is not the same without you, and we were SO good together, and well-suited. Same politics, same sense of humor, we never ran out of things to talk about. How can you forget about that????

 

And why am I so willing to forgive YOU for what you've done, when you refuse to even consider forgiving me??

 

I hate you for making me cry because I love you.

[Cupid's Puppet]

I think I will force myself to block your number for the new year. I don't want to wonder about the next time you'll send a text. I think I am really beginning to understand that it is truly over. I'm not really sure how to enjoy the rest of my life now. You made up such a large part of my happiness.

Edited December 4, 2014 by Cupid's Puppet

[The Poster]

I really wish you knew how I felt babe. I have a feeling you have no idea how much pain I'm in. I'm sure the way I just accepted your decision to break it off makes you think I was fine with it, but I'm not. Only God knows how much I'm hurting right now. Even though it was a short relationship, my feelings for you were so damn intense. I can't stop thinking of you and all the things we said and shared with eachother during our time together.

 

I hope you can hear me somehow. All I ever wanted for you was to have the happiness and peace you deserve. Even without you here, that is still all I want for you. I'm certainly not perfect, nor would I ever want to be, but I know I'm more than capable of giving you everything you could ever need. I wish I still had that chance to prove it to you. We could make one hell of a team.

[Justaguy30]

I still have days when I am in pain after what you did to me. I hope that you are happy. I gave you everything I had every single day. You made people hate me. Made everyone think I was crazy. I just don't understand why you would do this to me. Because you dide wrong I deserve this? I honestly hope that someday you see what you did to everyone that loved you.It will crush your soul.

[Dontfindme]

You're a stupid dickhead. Get out of my head.

[NomiMalone]

So, when am I seeing you again? x

[OneConfuzedGuy]

You dont know how much I'm hurting, and you aren't hurting nearly as much as me I know that for a fact. You ended it, you are the one who said we stopped being best friends and only roommates. Thats your opinion. I still felt like you were my best friend who I wanted to live with. I'm struggling so much and you are probably going about life happier without me. You know how much that hurts? After 4 years living together, how am I supposed to deal with this. If I had something like this going on where I was in so much distress I would ask you and I know you would have been there for me. But you are gone now, who do I go to who knows me like that. I wasn't perfect, neither were you but I wasn't just going to give up on you. This pain I have is deep and real, and you will never know how much I am hurting over you........

[MajorOak]

Hi Sweetie, you know its me when you hear those words.

Sadly I think the final goodbye is inbound, I have put up a good fight, I caught fight it anymore.

We have been through a lot haven't we, more than most. A couple of natural disasters just to remind us how small we are on this earth and how precious life is in itself. We have also had to contend with the disasters we have created, I know it didn't feel like at the time, we were there for one another then also.

You will probably never know I typed these words, they are not for you, I don't think they are for me either. Maybe they are for others to read, just to let them know they are not alone. I found some comfort in their words when I thought I was the only one in the world in the place with no light, hope or end.

I'm being pulled in all directions, you see one is pulling harder than the others now, I have grit my teeth dug my heels in and gave it my best shot, now I'm exhausted with it all, sleep.

 

 

I hope you never have the need to come to this forum, its not a bad place, the entry requirement is pain real pain, despite what you have done, I don't want you going through that.

If you do however stumble across these words I have type today, please know I have no regrets, I wouldn't have changed a thing, thank you.

 

 

I love you Sweetie forever and always x

[Cupid's Puppet]

I love you. Our love story didn't have to end like this. Why were we both such young fools? Why do we learn the lessons too late?

[Mandy26]

It was not about trust, that was there...it is more about what is RIGHT! love my brother for helping me understand that and help me see beyond your manipulative words ...ugggh...hate the fact that I still even think of you...stuck ...need to move on...not like you are the best for me anyhow

[Mandy26]

thanks to those here who responded to my previous post and support too:) thanks LS community

[Justm3x]

Im sad about what you did, you should never have given me hope and I feel used and let down but my heart will always be with you.....

 

 

I'm jealous of the rain

That falls upon your skin

It's closer than my hands have been

I'm jealous of the rain

I'm jealous of the wind

That ripples through your clothes

It's closer than your shadow

Oh, I'm jealous of the wind, cause

 

I wished you the best of

All this world could give

And I told you when you left me

There's nothing to forgive

But I always thought you'd come back, tell me all you found was

Heartbreak and misery

It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way

You're happy without me

 

I'm jealous of the nights

That I don't spend with you

I'm wondering who you lay next to

Oh, I'm jealous of the nights

I'm jealous of the love

Love that was in here

Gone for someone else to share

Oh, I'm jealous of the love, cause

 

As I sink in the sand

Watch you slip through my hands

Oh, as I die here another day

Cause all I do is cry behind this smile

 

It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way

You're happy without me

[Lostdreams]

6 months later and I hate to admit that I am still missing you - regardless of how much I try not to. I was feeling better some weeks ago ... maybe this relapse is the Christmas period and thoughts of all the festive holiday times we shared.

 

Its not the searing pain and heated anger of the beginning but it's still very much there a permanent, under the surface, dull ache. Yes I'm doing everything I can to move on and wishing that "fake it till you make it" would work for me.

 

Read a post on here today which rings true to me at this moment - thanks me85 - maybe the only way to truly get over this is to fall in love again............ even if that still seems light years away....... I do want to love again.

 

I have no idea what you are doing or how you are, but I still haven't filled the hole you left. I know that has to come from within me ...... I hope I reach that point some time soon. Living life without you is harder than I thought - but I deserve better and it's up to me to make it happen

[tlour61]

It has almost been six months since we broke up. I thought I was doing good on moving on the last couple of months. I've dated which has not really interested. Maybe with that I'm just not ready.

 

The last few days my mind has been on him. I've have not done very much because of it. I wonder why he been occupying my mind more. I'm not saying he has never I always think about him. It just seems lately it is more. I didn't even go to his parents house like I've been doing for the last 14 yrs at Thanksgiving to have my cheesecake his mother makes for me. Yes they were expecting me that night. I was just not ready to see him yet. Even though I should have because it would have reminded me why we are not together. Because I had heard he was trash and being his nasty self.

 

I'm I lonely? I've kept myself busy for the most part. I just know this morning I almost called him to ask if he would like to go out for breakfast. Which I didn't but I don't even like that I even thought of that. I'm just tired of him taking up space in my thoughts.

[OneConfuzedGuy]

I had another dream about you. You know the one where everything is like it use to be, how maybe it was supposed to be. And then I wake up to the same ****ty reality. I know you are not feeling half or even a quarter of the pain I am, which hurts a little more. You are happier without me. I thought that would never be the case. I have no clue how ill ever get over you. Its like you died, one day u were here then the next you walked out the door and I will probably never see you again. But its because of your choice, and that pain almost hurts worse. You will never know what im writing here or the pain im going through. I just want to feel happy again.........