Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[edgygirl]

It will Sad26. I am also on the damaged kind of the spectrum. But to say the truth, I had a previous relationship that took me years to get over, and when I look back to that one I just see what a waste of time it was.

 

So in this last one, although I was quite sad and it was initially hard to get over, I think I learned my lesson. NO ONE deserves that we suffer pain for years and years. NO ONE. Be open to new possibilities, there are other fascinating people in the world that you might meet if you just give yourself a chance and stop obsessing over someone who is not worth it. That's the mindset I try to have now with people who don't deserve my heart. Hope you also realize it

 

I don't even believe this will ever happen to me. When would I feel normal again. I think I am the damaged kind of person that's why this BU is so hard on me and I am not feeling normal.

[leavesonautumn]

It will Sad26. I am also on the damaged kind of the spectrum. But to say the truth, I had a previous relationship that took me years to get over, and when I look back to that one I just see what a waste of time it was.

 

So in this last one, although I was quite sad and it was initially hard to get over, I think I learned my lesson. NO ONE deserves that we suffer pain for years and years. NO ONE. Be open to new possibilities, there are other fascinating people in the world that you might meet if you just give yourself a chance and stop obsessing over someone who is not worth it. That's the mindset I try to have now with people who don't deserve my heart. Hope you also realize it

 

Thank you for this post Edgygirl. I've been having a rough time lately and at over 8 months post break up after a 5 year on/off relationship, I'm starting to feel lonelier and won't talk to my friends about it. I hate seeing anyone hurt or sad but it does make me feel a bit better knowing there are people out there who understand.

[edgygirl]

It's just natural to feel lonely. I think we all do. And friends get sick of listening after a while. We basically only have ourselves and this forum to try and get over it. And it feels cozy to realize we're not crazy or the only ones in the world feeling despair and hurt beyond belief... I might go so far as to say it happens to almost everyone.

 

The good thing is it won't last forever. It just won't. We will all get over this.

 

Thank you for this post Edgygirl. I've been having a rough time lately and at over 8 months post break up after a 5 year on/off relationship, I'm starting to feel lonelier and won't talk to my friends about it. I hate seeing anyone hurt or sad but it does make me feel a bit better knowing there are people out there who understand.

[Cupid's Puppet]

I don't understand. Break it down to me. How can you want to marry me one minute, and the next say goodbye to me forever without any remorse? Who.the.hell.does.this.ish???

[W101]

I walked away, I had to be strong, but I did it, I'm not happy, I'm not relieved, I'm empty, I feel nothing for you, the moment I had to picture you with someone else was the moment something snapped inside my soul and disconnected itself from yours, the only sadness I feel is yours, I have no will to put anything behind me, only to put my self worth ahead of me and walk beside it, I want nothing from you, only that you respect my silence, it's the least and only thing that you owe me now.

[Sixandout]

I just want you to say hello. I just want to feel like I meant something to you, even if I no longer do.

[Sad26]

I don't want to live anymore, not that you care but I can't take your cruelty anymore. I can't. Please don't hurt me anymore.

 

You carry about your life as if nothing happened. You are posting on twitter, and facebook, etc as if my exit from your life has only brought you happiness.

 

You reply to others on Whatsapp, you agree to meet them but you ignore me like I am not a human being. What have I done so bad to you that you can't even say hi back for my hello.

 

I don't want anything from you just give me the dignity and respect of a human being. Just this much.

[Magnet]

I'm still angry with you at how you dropped me. I felt safe with you and I always felt that I was going to be with you for the rest of my life.

 

I hate to say it but I miss your warm body next to me in bed.

I miss the way you would lie on me and furrow your head in my neck.

I miss your freckly face and bushy eyebrows. I miss your laugh and your hands, the way your hands felt in my hands.

I miss hugging you. I miss kissing you goodnight and good morning.

I miss the way you stroked my head.

I miss running my fingers through your hair.

I miss the way we would cup our hands and look into each other's eyes.

I miss you running up to me and hugging me from behind.

I miss kissing you on your warm forehead.

I miss watching you fall asleep.

I miss doing things for you.

I try to pretend I don't but I miss you SO MUCH.

 

We went through so much and I cant believe that you're not part of my life anymore.

[tim_tom]

You are coming to get some of your stuff tomorrow, you are not happy that I asked you to give me a list of what you wanted so I can pre pack. You said you missed me and wanted to come in what used to be our home and collect for yourself. And then you got mad at me when I didn't respond, said my goal was to make you suffer.

 

I wish you could understand how bad this has hurt me, how I walk around every single day feeling empty and hopeless. How not a minute goes by without me thinking about you. How I can't see you without regressing, and am ignoring you for me, not to hurt you.

 

I wish you accepted some responsibility in the relationship ending, wish you didn't blame me completely. I also wish you didn't leave so quickly, coldly and callously. I wish you gave us a chance to work on it. How can you be wanting to go look at wedding rings one day, and less then 7 days later matter of factly tell me it's over. Who are you? And what did you do to the girl I spent a mostly wonderful 18 months with?

[W101]

It hurts me to see you angry and upset with me over the decision I made to walk away, parts of me are all telling me to say many different things, I feel conflicted, I want to say it's all okay and to be with you right now holding you, I want to say this is the mess you made and this is the bed you have to lie in, I want to say I love you and that I miss you, I want to say what you did disgusted me and I'll never forgive you, instead I stay silent, watching waves of text messages light up my phone one after another.

 

I don't know how to feel, I feel relief that I don't have to deal with this situation and despair that the path I choose to walk means living without you at the end of it, I don't know if I've made the right decision, all I know is the person standing before me now isn't the person I admired above everybody else.

[Xemyd]

I'm going to treat you as if you're dead. Nothing will ever happen between us again because you're no longer here, you are physically incapable of making any contact.

 

Happy 1 year post BU, I'm still alive, barely.

[Amy74]

I don't want to live anymore, not that you care but I can't take your cruelty anymore. I can't. Please don't hurt me anymore.

 

You carry about your life as if nothing happened. You are posting on twitter, and facebook, etc as if my exit from your life has only brought you happiness.

 

You reply to others on Whatsapp, you agree to meet them but you ignore me like I am not a human being. What have I done so bad to you that you can't even say hi back for my hello.

 

I don't want anything from you just give me the dignity and respect of a human being. Just this much.

 

As a mental health professional...I couldn't let this go. If you're verbalizing frustration...we get it. If you're truly contemplating ending your life, please call 911 or your local crisis hotline. You are not alone.

[Chompy]

I understand why you are leaving, and it would be hypocritical for me to not to. You know that.

 

 

You want your freedom. You know that what you have now is killing you. The boredom, the lack of an exciting future being in sight. Kids and marriage are not what you want. Honestly, I think I've been off kids and wanting to escape B.... for a while now, but never said it. Now it is too late.

 

 

It hurts.

 

 

It hurts most that you didn't involve me with your crisis. Maybe it would have been the same, maybe not. But I understand. You are one of the most courageous people I know.

 

 

I still love you, and we can still have an amazing life together. The kinda life that makes others jealous, and both of us happy. But that is now unlikely, what people have said mostly universally is that it's over.

 

 

I forgive you, and I hope you can forgive me.

 

 

I know it's time to move on, but I still can't.

[Chompy]

I don't understand. Break it down to me. How can you want to marry me one minute' date=' and the next say goodbye to me forever without any remorse? Who.the.hell.does.this.ish???[/quote']

 

it doesn't seem that uncommon. We were meant to send out wedding invites and book the venue this week. Then, <1 week later, it was over.

[Magnet]

Today, we passed each other like ships in the night.

Like strangers in the street.

Like disinterested animals ambling by in the meadow.

 

My face was a mask of steel.

But my veins were full of your silence.

[StrangerThanFiction]

I managed to make it through work today without breaking down. But as soon as I was off I caught myself reaching for my phone to call you like I've done everyday for years. That's when I broke down and cried my eyes out. I'm still crying, actually. It's been 2 days since BU, only 2 days, and the thought of not having you to talk to and tell about my day and hear about yours is almost overwhelming to contemplate. Knowing that you're not a part of my life anymore and never will be again is just...no words can describe how much that hurts.

 

I can't stop thinking about what you're doing. About how you're probably having beers with your work buddies and laughing while I'm here curled up around the hole in my chest like some pathetic loser. I'm sure you're probably with someone else already now too. You probably were before the BU, actually. That's your usual MO, right? In a relationship, meet someone new, stay in old relationship until your pretty certain new one is a "step up", break up with old one and jump head first into new. I keep going over and over our conversations over the past week and it's making more and more sense that you've been seeing someone else. When I asked you yesterday if there was you said no. But that doesn't mean sh*t, does it. Lying about that is nothing compared to the lies you've told in the past so I don't even know why I asked. Guess it doesn't matter anymore anyway.

 

You still have to come pick up the rest of your stuff and I'm honestly dreading that with all my heart. I don't want to see you, especially if it means that I'll be seeing the back of you forever after that. Every time my phone goes off I'm scared it's you telling me the day you're coming to grab it. We agreed that the next time we talk, it'll be for that. So, feel free to hold off on that for awhile so I can get my head on straight, my confidence back to at least 1/2 tank,and drop a few pounds and tone up.

[Justaguy30]

Here we are 8 months later after I gave up my entire life for you. I am trapped working crappy jobs because I can't move because of the legal stuff and I can't drive because I lost my licence. I often wonder how you are and how the kids are and if you are actually happy now. I do hope that you found some kind of peace with someone but I feel that you have not. I know nothing about your life now. I still miss you sometimes when I get off work. I just kinda wanna go home some days and see you guys smiling and watching TV and then have dinner with you. Its your birthday in a few days, Happy Birthday!!! Sorry everything got so messed up. This is making me so sad that I can't just call and talk to you and wish you a happy birthday its making me cry. I am so crazy and I hate it.

[sickoflove11]

I wish I could get some advice or support on here I'm not sure why I never get many responses but I guess it is more like a diary where I can just say how I feel... I'm trying not to contact my ex and I'm the one who ended it. I miss him so much but I can't give him all that he wants. If there was another way besides NC I would do it to keep him in my life.

[SLK11]

I love you. I fall apart each day but get back up again. Maybe one day we will meet again, until then I will smile at every thought of you no matter how much it hurts.

[Magnet]

Today I am feeling miserable and angry. Angry with you. I'm wondering, do you EVEN care about me right now? Do you even think about me?

 

You aren't texting or emailing me. I haven't contacted you for 17 days. You haven't contacted me for 9 days. Your silence speaks volumes. Just really, really F you.

[StrangerThanFiction]

Woke up this morning feeling horrible. Instead of that nice five minutes right after waking where I feel normal before it all comes crashing down that you're gone it was just straight into pain. I must've been dreaming about you. Thanks a lot brain.

 

I feel like throwing up and all I want to do is cry but I can't because the hurt is just too big right now.

 

I miss you so much and it's only been 4 days since BU. I don't know how to deal with this and I feel like I'm drowning in the middle of the ocean with no help in sight. You were always my rock and now I'm alone and don't know what to do. I can't even bear thinking about the future because you won't be in it and I feel so empty.

 

Over and over again I ask myself why. Why was I never good enough for you to make an effort for? Why did you stay with me as long as you did if you knew you didn't want to spend the rest of your life with me? Why am I always a space filler girlfriend instead of one that's worth wanting to be with or do things with? Why is just me, StrangerThanFiction, never enough?? God I just wish I could see a flicker of the light at the end of this.

[MrWorkinProgress]

With just 13 days left until she leaves for the other coast for the first time since we broke up 6 weeks ago I am tempted to text her, so here goes.

 

I miss you, and I don't want you to go. I know it's reality, and I have to live with it. I have my feelings about how it ended, and I'm sure you do too. I have my perspective on who had the more reasonable perspective on relocation, and I'm sure you do too. But right now, all I know is you are moving away, and I don't want you to go. I don't want to have to see you for our walkthrough of the house with our landlord: not because I'm angry, but because I'll know you're leaving that night, and it will be so painful. I've been businesslike in our communications about the house, mostly because I just want to stop feeling so much pain and every time I hear from you it's like hitting a "reset" button on my recovery. Now that your move is close, it's like we just broke up yesterday. I'm an adult and I know life will go on for both of us. In many ways we just weren't a good match, but it doesn't mean we didn't love each other a lot. And the truth is I don't want you to leave.

[me85]

On occasion, I remember you telling me I "wasn't a happy person" to which I responded, "maybe it's you who makes me unhappy." … GO ME! I mean, that was just completely untrue and nothing that anyone has ever said or thought about me…only you.

 

Yeah, I guess having a boyfriend that disrespected me, cheated on me, lied to me, physically & emotionally abused me...did in fact make me unhappy. I mean, the fact that you never even took responsibility for my "unhappiness" is exactly why you keep going through GF after GF.

 

If you could see the girl you deemed an "unhappy person" * now * living life happier without you, you'd be beside yourself and terribly missing what you had when you had me.

 

Thank you. You helped me be better/stronger/happier…by hurting/betraying and leaving me. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to truly be loved by someone else one day.

 

P.S. Saw your Mom in a store today…she didn't see me and I left right away. Poor woman has no idea what a cruel and selfish son she has.

Edited September 18, 2014 by me85

[edgygirl]

Man. He hasn't updated his profile picture since he joined facebook 9 years ago.

 

Why on Earth he would do it this week? WHY??? Why? Why oh why?

 

I haven't "unfollowed" him unfortunately as he never posts anything and I never get to see him in my feed. But I just did, when he updated his pic a few days ago. It was so much harder than I imagined. I thought I was quite over him by now and this threw me off guard. My stomach hurts just to to look at it.

 

Oh my. I prob should have unfriended him by now but all I did was put him on my restricted list so he doesn't see what's up in my life and my feed.

 

I'm talking to the hottest guy on okcupid in the last 2-3 days, so why is it I still have feelings like this? Sucks. Just want to be over it.

 

Still, something in me wonders why he'd change his profile pic specifically 3 months after our breakup when he hasn't been into fb for years.

[Justaguy30]

It was your birthday yesterday. I got all drunk and sent you nasty texts last night which is not the first time I have done that. Every time I have I wake up feeling awful. The truth is I just miss you still. I really wish we had been able to spend our lives together. I am so sorry I am so ****ing stupid. Peace