Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[lamis]

So it has been four months since you left me after a year-long engagement and 2.5 year relationship.

 

I am back in the U.S. now, and moved to the city that we were supposed to move to together after I got back. I have been here for a couple of weeks, and had been doing surprisingly well. I have been really focusing on preparing for my exams, and have basically been at peace with everything, for the most part. I don't know what happened though, because I woke up today pretty depressed about everything. Maybe I had a dream about you that I don't remember, but is still impacting me emotionally? I don't know.

 

It just really sucks that I'm here alone. Just six months ago I couldn't have fathomed that this is what my life would be like. It really sucks that you are (last someone told me anyway) already moved on and I still have pretty much no interest in other women.

 

I can't believe you did what you did to me. It is so hard to wrap my head around when I think about the girl that you were when I left for those 10 months, and the things that you did in my absence. You basically aren't as good a person as I thought you were, and just dealing with that hurts, and (as I have told you before), really damages my trust in all people.

 

Earlier this morning when I was really down about everything, I was telling myself that if I could have known you would end up cheating on me and leaving me for someone else, I wouldn't have left for almost a year. But luckily I eventually convinced myself that cheating is probably in your very nature -- you are just generally a fickle person, something about you I had never really analyzed. You have a hard time knowing what you want in all areas of your life -- professional, personal, and so on. You should probably work on that.

[Thegreatestthing]

New guy asked for a break and stopped replying to my message

So of course now I'm thinking of you

I've had to stop myself from writing to you ten times

I don't know why I write to you,I really don't.

[edgygirl]

I went on a date tonight.

 

3rd date since we broke up June 1.

 

First one was on the same week and crappy. Second one was a month ago, hot guy that bored me. Guy today had the same profession as you, lives 3 blocks from you and the same personality type. He was kinda interesting but I could only think of you on and on and on. WHY oh WHY. I want to forget you ever existed.

 

I'm drunk and thinking about you. Wish I have never met you.

[love1336x]

There goes that missing feeling again.

Why can't we be friends? Wouldn't that make life so much easier?

I think making us so taboo makes break up Harder because their a special banned on this person.

[love1336x]

Soon you'll be home.

Hate this.

Hate this.

Why?

Hate this.

I don't want to see you.

Hate this.

Can't you just stay there?

Hate this.

Miss you.

Hate this.

[L1ght]

Sometimes I still don't get it. Yes we are done and yes most if the time I annihilate you from my brain because I know I have to......but how the hell did you give up? We had it, im telling you we had something special. Should I try again with you? F*cking hell I just keep hitting a brick wall.....but I dont believe we are done. We have made progress but still its tough. Maybe one more shot. Maybe I will try once more. Lol drunk text...I half mean it but half couldn't care less.

Edited July 20, 2014 by L1ght

[love1336x]

Dear my love,

Haven't you wanting to be free?

Dear my love,

haven't you wanting to be with me?

[ByMyself01]

Now you can be free to do whatever you want. I tried everything to make it work but all you could care about was yourself. I took those trips, I tried to help you, but all you cared about was yourself. So since you couldn't care enough to give me love in return, I am letting you free to someday find the one that you could love the way that I loved you. If you still want your ex, you're free to that too. I'm tired of holding on only to be hurting myself. If I don't do it now, when will I ever be strong enough to do so? NOW IS THE TIME

[L1ght]

Didn't actually mean my last message(glad I posted it here and not to you). Truth is I don't need you any more and I'm quite happy without you. Its just been a bit of a rough week for me in general and I guess my emotions have been a little bit up and down but that's just life......we cant have things our own way all the time and you gotta take the rough with the smooth.

Don't contact me. Its all good in the hood, I'm totally looking forwards and leaving you behind.

[Always Pondering]

Dear S,

 

You suck.

 

This is the first night in a long time that I've felt this down after all the progress I've made and it came out of no where. I suppose I would be lying if I said I've fully let you go and overcome this wound to my heart. I don't exactly wonder "why" anymore nowadays, although I do occasionally wonder what you think of me. I occasionally think back to about a little under a year ago when you contacted me just to relieve guilt. I fell for it and I wish I had more clarity at the time. You really suck.

 

It's surprising to me that it's already been over a year since we've last seen each other or spoken a word, it's almost as if my mind hasn't caught up with the fact that it's been that long. I suppose in the light of things, I never really started healing until some months ago. It's been almost nine months since you last contacted me so I figure we're never going to have a discussion again. My mind knows this but my heart refuses to believe it.

 

I wish we could sit down, tell the truth and there would be no more hard or sad feelings left. I know that's unrealistic but that's what I wish would happen.

 

I wish you would contact me even though I know it wouldn't mean anything. This is so tiring. I wish you could even understand what I had to go through and even now, what I have left to heal. I'm really considering blocking you on social media again. I haven't looked at any of your profiles in months but for some reason I feel I'm supposed to keep you blocked the whole time I'm NC.

 

P.S. You suck, S. You really do.

Edited July 21, 2014 by Always Pondering

[edgygirl]

1 month NC tomorrow.

 

You're an idiot. This month made me realize that you're emotionally challenged, you are not a good partner and you don't know how to work on a relationship. Good luck with that.

 

You will find someone because not that many men are at the top 1% income at age 37. I have no doubt you will - women appreciate drive. Will it be a good relationship? Not sure. You are good at the beginning but the mask always falls. You don't know how to keep your woman happy. You don't even make the effort if that's not your end goal. It's all about how YOU feel, isn't it?

 

I'm angry at you. Because I should have jumped ship earlier. I'm angry at me. You never really tried. Although you wanted to spend all your time with me, it was always deep down shallow. Dinners, shows, friends. Dating. But dating for me is getting to know each other's soul. I am not even sure you're capable of that. I don't think you had that with that stupid X. I am not sure you ever had that by what you tell me.

 

1 month. I am living my life again and happy about it. Promising date in a few days. Funny thing is he's in the same profession. Same area, too. But he's older than you and hopefully a little more emotionally mature. I'm sick of kids. I want a man.

[perduetseul]

I miss you so much I think I might break. Tonight I can't stop crying, I can't stop feeling your arms around me and your chest against my face.

Can you hear me my love? I am screaming your name. I need you tonight.

Please forgive me. I am so sorry!

I miss you. I need you tonight.

Please come to me my love.

[mangetout]

I feel so much better today. You are not worth feeling miserable for. I hope I feel this way fort a long time

[love1336x]

When I'm with him.

I don't think about you.

My brain is at ease... I feel peace.

However, when we are apart.... I feel sad and miss you dearly.

[Erlaad]

Happy birthday Josse.

 

Two days late, you'll never read this.

 

Doing my best to keep my mind off you. My mind is set.

 

You took your way out, I took the highest road I could.

 

Hope you're happy, serene and confident for your future.

 

One day I'll be free and emotionally available again.

 

I will never forget what we had. Thanks for everything you taught me.

 

Farewell,

 

Stefano

[mangetout]

You are ridiculous.

You cheat on me, don't give me sex for for nearly two years afterwards, then dump me four times because you cant be bothered to make any compromises. You left me in a right mess.

 

 

And now you send me little breadcrumbs that you would like to catch up with me?Why?

Because you didn't like the way we ended it? Because you are riddled with guilt. Because you don't like thinking that you are that bad.

 

 

Well you are!!! So bloody suffer

[love1336x]

I had a dream about you.

I feel like I broke NC because of this dream.

But, even in my dreams u didn't want me back.

[love1336x]

Its okay if I miss you as long as you don't know...

[edgygirl]

Ugh 1 month NC yesterday. I hardly think about you these days.

 

BUT.

 

Then my mind plays tricks and makes me apparently have nightmares with you. I woke up too early terrified by something I dreamt and can't remember but it must have been about you as I woke up thinking about you and inventing some story in my mind that you had someone before we parted.

 

Went to your fb to stalk. Nothing as always. Had a tiring crappy day all because of you.

 

But I should be glad to realize that you only come to my mind maximum twice a day these days. This is such a huge progress.

 

Right now I don't think about you lovingly anymore. I just hate you and your stubbornness and how stupid you are. That's progress in my opinion.

[love1336x]

This have to be one of my best summers...

 

Odd, right?

It all started with us breaking up.

Without the break up...

I wouldn't have reconnected with old friends.

I wouldn't be happy with my blessing that I have...

I wouldn't love me more!

 

I dunno... I am always active always doing something with my life.

I'm not wasting my day away!

 

All because of this break up! It pushed me! It forced me!

I want to be happy! I don't want to be sad. Life too short for me wanting somebody I can't have!

For some LOSER, IMMATURE BABY, POT HEAD!

I AM A PRIZE!

If you can't see that! OH WELLL!!!!!

[artsygirl78]

Two months post break up and 5 weeks NC - I am posting here to keep myself from contacting him, even though it is absolutely killing me. I was feeling stronger but had a really bad relapse today, so bad that I almost broke NC - I lurked around on some mutual friend's fb pages sort of "looking" for things written by him to see if he had moved on and was dating someone else, and was terrified to see anything and relieved to see nothing, although I know I don't really know what is going on in his life and for all I know he could have a new girlfriend. I have men asking me out and wanting to get involved with me, men flirting with me, but all I can think of is that they are not "him", I can't feel attracted to anyone else, I don't want anyone else - and I was the one to initiate the breakup. I must be insane and I feel like a huge loser. I am terrified I am never going to get over him, that I will never be able to fall in love with another man as deeply as I did him - I was even feeling sad that I was starting to have better days in not getting upset or feeling like he was starting to become part of the "past", because I know that means I have to really let go and I can't hold on to the fantasy that he and I could get back together. My heart is still harboring this hope that I am going to hear from him, and making excuses that when I was the last one to text him and say I would be willing to talk and work things out as a couple but didn't hear back from him, that it was because he didn't get the message, and if he only knew, he would call or write to me (desperate times, desperate measures). I don't want to let go. I don't want him to become part of my past, or just a memory. I can't believe he is not in my life. But the decisions were made, instigated by me, and he decided to let me go.

 

I think part of it is that now I am working as a freelancer, so I have too much time on my hands and am spending way too much time alone, which gives me hours and hours to think about him, obsess over what I did wrong in the relationship, all the reasons I regret breaking up with him, even after talking it out with all my friends and having them reassure me I did the right thing. This will be the hardest breakup I have ever gone through. There was so much I really, truly loved about him. I loved all the quirks of his personality, even all the things that other people didn't like about him. I thought he was so unusual, so special, and that in many ways he and I were like peas in a pod. Even with all of his faults and his baggage, he is truly one of a kind, and I just miss him so much my heart is just falling apart at the seams. It is just a very, very sad day. I am hoping that slowly over time I will truly be able to heal, and that with taking care of myself and putting myself first, I can either come to a place where I can sincerely be connected to him as friends and be happy for him sincerely without any romantic pangs for his happiness as he moves on with someone else, or that I come to a place of indifference where he pops in my mind every once in a while without any feeling or attachment, as I do the rest of my serious exes. This is not for the faint of heart.

[Always Pondering]

I found a bookmark with our initials today that you gave me a long time ago. As the night came, I decided to go out to the back and sit down on the bench. I struck a match, lit the bookmark on fire, then dropped it on the cold, hard ground. For as long as it was, I stared at it while thinking about how much things have changed from the first time we ever said "Hi" to where we are now. It was strangely relieving yet sad at the same time. As the flame started to die out and the light disappeared, I came closer to the realization that it doesn't seem we're going to ever be friends again. I don't even know how long I sat there afterwards just thinking about things.

 

It's really a shame it had to end this way.

[love1336x]

I woke up today with bad tension in my chest.

I had a stupid dream about you.

I hate dreaming about you.

[love1336x]

I miss you.

I been trying to run from it.

But I miss you.

My heart wants that piece you took away from her.

Im glad I don't want to break NC.

[redbaron005]

I still love you.