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Post here instead of contacting your ex!

polywog

By polywog
in Coping

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Hello201 Member

Hello201

Posted
Posted

so one week to the day you broke up with me and you send me this

 

I probably should not message coz it hurts you and I already hurt you also I did not intend to I just wanted to say I hope you ok x

 

you didnt even use my name is that so it doesnt make it awkward to you

 

i wont reply as its not even worth my time

 

talk to me when you want to get back together and are serious about it

 

then i may reply

 

until then keep looking to see if ive replied

 

of course im not ok and to message me to ask that is just tring to make you feel better about saying you loved me and then saying you made a mistake i know you love me just be honest with your self like i asked you to be after you told me

 

i love you but you hurt me , the next step is yours

  • Like 1
jt27 Established Member

jt27

Posted
Posted

I want to contact you so bad just to tell you how heartbroken I am. I never did tell you this because I wanted to appear as if I didn't care. I do care. More than you will ever know. I want you to know how much you meant to me.

stillfiguringitallou Established Member

stillfiguringitallou

Posted
Posted

I found the baby's first ultrasound photo today. I don't know why I can't just bring myself to throw it away. I keep moving it from one "safe place" to another only to come across it when I least expect to.

 

It made me think of our conversation when we first started dating - when you admitted you were recently separated and not actually single. When I told you I thought we should just be friends for a while because I wasn't looking to fall in love with someone that was just rebounding. And you told me it wasn't like that - that I could trust you ... and I laughed and said "my grandfather told me to never trust someone who said "trust me."

 

I guess we see how that really turned out - here two years later. Your on your feet and stronger than the day I met you - or so you seem. And I'm here wishing I'd waited longer before determining you were serious. At the time - 6 months seemed like more than enough time to ensure I wasn't a rebound and let myself fall.

 

Looking back - I realize you only wanted it - because you thought you couldn't have it. And all the trouble started once you knew you did.

 

and I'm angry with myself. For not being smarter.

CopingGal Established Member

CopingGal

Posted
Posted

Dear L,

 

I just was looking at your picture...saying good-bye affectionately to you with a pain in my heart. I guess I really have come a long way from hating you so much that I wanted terrible things to happen to you...from coming on here and just cursing you over and over again. I've seen you with your girlfriend in the past on the social media site. My heart is rather soft for her. I worry about her, knowing what you are capable of.

 

Last night I dreamt that I thought you were going to kill me. I thought you were going to push me out of a 13 story window. It's not terribly surprising to me, considering the horrible things you've done. I'm not even shocked or angry at the horrible things you've done...I just feel pity for you and lots of it. Thank goodness I'm away from you. It's been about a year and I half since I've seen you and about over a year and a half since I last spoke to you. With all the horrible thing you did to me and not having any remorse...even thinking some of them were funny...you are a very, very sick man...a very, very sick man. I know it and you know it, but I know you have fooled lots and lots of people.

 

I'm so, so, sorry for you that sometimes I want to hug you. I know you didn't ask to be born evil. I know you didn't ask to be born without a conscience. I know you didn't ask to be born with more than one personality disorder. You never asked for any of it, and yet there you are...evil, cold, calculating...a man who lives his lives by way of lying and what he can get from others. You'll never be very stable, your life will always be chaotic and the focus of your existence will always be perfecting the different ways you take advantage of others.

 

You poor baztard. You poor, poor, baztard.

  • Like 1
mangetout Established Member

mangetout

Posted
Posted

I can't even think about you anymore. It's like I would explode from emotions if I opened that box. I try to stomp any past thoughts I have of us. This helps me to stay in the much needed present

 

I don't even know if I miss you anymore. Everything is becoming a distant memory.

 

Day 7 NC

Itspointless Established Member

Itspointless

Posted
Posted
you didnt even use my name is that so it doesnt make it awkward to you

In the last message I got she had not taken the time to correct typing mistakes, my name was spelled wrong :mad:

stillfiguringitallou Established Member

stillfiguringitallou

Posted
Posted

You asked me if I thought I'd find happiness by pushing everyone away.

 

I don't need to FIND happiness. My happiness has always - and will always be inside of me. In my confidence in who I am - regardless of whether you can see the value of that.

 

You and she - are just two people in a world full of millions. And of those millions I have 200 - beside me - and behind me - people who have ALSO been in my life for years - as active parts of my life.

 

People who appreciate who I am - who appreciate that everyone - including me - has their limits. People who genuinely love me - and for what it's worth have been begging me to walk away from you for the last year.

 

So yes - ridding my life of those who would see me unhappy - and those (you) who couldn't handle seeing me unhappy - for even a moment. Who denied me my god given right to feel sadness and grieve the loss of my child because it was inconvenient to them. Letting go of those people will only allow my happiness to grow.

 

You forget when you met me you told me I was the happiest girl you'd ever met - like a ray of sunshine - and I had been alone voluntarily for over two years ...

 

You forget you told me I was one of the strongest women you knew - and that I would survive our losses.

 

You forget I was happy and found happiness in us even during the bad times.

 

You forget because forgetting is easier than remembering - easier than facing the truth - easier than the work necessary to come back.

 

You forget because it's easier - not better.

 

So tell me - is this what will bring you the happiness you think?

 

the secrets

the deceit

the settling for someone telling you what you WANT to hear.

lime87 Member

lime87

Posted
Posted

I miss you terribly.

 

Withdrawing from your life is hurting me even though I know I have to.

 

I hope you realise life isn't what you thought with me gone. You'll need so much courage to talk to me again. You'll have to apologise for hurting me. I'm trying to bury the last five years. If you regret this decision you'll have to try so hard to get me in your life. I don't want anything to do with you otherwise.

 

You broke my heart, but you also broke my trust in you. You lied.

newenglandkid Established Member

newenglandkid

Posted
Posted

Dear J

 

I gave you everything I had, and that still was not enough. The sleepovers, taking care of you when you were sick, and doing almost EVERYTHING you wanted to do. I did all of that out of love but whenever I wanted to do something that you didn't want to do you always made it a struggle. Constant compromises to do anything I wanted to do, when I rarely give you a hard time about anything you want to do.

 

I loved you so much I didn't care that I had to continually compromise, but this breakup has given me a chance to look at our relationship as a whole. I took way more sh** then I gave to you and that's not fair. Like I told you when you broke up with me, I love you and will probably always love you. With that said, if we were EVER to get back together, you would need to change a whole helluva lot more then I do.

 

 

Damn that felt good lol

  • Like 1
Jatli Member

Jatli

Posted
Posted

It is 2 months today since I moved out.

 

I miss your smile, I miss your laugh, I miss the way you cuddle with me at night. I miss your goodbye kisses every morning. I miss the sound of your voice. I miss playing footsies with you on the couch. I miss the feel of your hand on my back as we walk through a door. I miss you grabbing my hand as we cross the street. I miss our talks. I miss cooking you dinner. I miss lying in bed looking at you and just talking about our day. I miss the way you would hold my head close to your chest and make me feel so safe. I miss dancing in the living room. I miss your arms around me while I am doing dishes. I miss making love to you.

 

I miss you

  • Like 1
newenglandkid Established Member

newenglandkid

Posted
Posted

Dear J

 

I miss you so much, thinking about all of our times together I really miss you in my life. I wish we could fix all of this so I can come see you right after work. I want to email you and ask how your day is. I know work has been stressful this week and I want to make sure you're doing ok. I miss texting and emailing you all the time, I constantly check my phone hoping you send me a text or email asking to talk and work this out.

 

I miss hugging you, hearing you, and seeing you. I want you back in my life.

mangetout Established Member

mangetout

Posted
Posted

I don't miss you at all. I still feel angry that you left me when you should have stayed to show your commitment to our relationship.

 

Well you didn't . You even had the audacity to tell me that you are happy and relaxed being single.

 

Well screw you

  • Like 2
lime87 Member

lime87

Posted
Posted

I finally came back to the house today. All your things apart from a few irrelevant things are gone. It devastated me all over again. Like a knife to my heart. I haven't spoken to you in 8 days. Do you really not care after five years?

 

I can't tell you these things. I love you. I want to work this out. I want to heal my heart and not let you back in but I also want you to feel the deepest regret and sadness when you realise what you ended. J won't fulfill you and she's leaving (if you are having adulterous things - she's not single is she?) anyway.

 

I'm stuck in a half full house alone trying to think positive thoughts and improve myself so I'm happy without you. Maybe then as well as with the passing of time we can try.

Mary Oak Established Member

Mary Oak

Posted
Posted

Hey, it's me...again.

 

I am feeling sad today. I am missing you a lot. You told me that I didn't love you for you, for even the bad parts. Honey, the thing is, I did the best I knew how at the time. I loved you more than anything I had ever loved. After two years of therapy, I have learned how to show my feelings better. How to understand what I am actually feeling. I know that sounds so easy to you, but you have always had that innate inside of you. I wasn't raised to show my feelings. I want to tell you that we would be good together. I am still a work in progress, but you would know my love for you.

 

By you telling me this, it confirms the fact we will never be again. I think you love me and miss me sometimes, but you can't really forgive me. ANd that sucks.

 

Anyways, I still think of you all the time. You will never know how I really feel....though I wish you did.

  • Like 1
mangetout Established Member

mangetout

Posted
Posted

Why do I miss you today... I don't like this.

stillfiguringitallou Established Member

stillfiguringitallou

Posted
Posted

Today I'm wishing you had an empathetic bone in your body

 

Today, as I sit here, spotting again, because I dared to excersise yesterday to work through the frustration, again reminded of how my choices to let you back into my life have changed my life forever. Forecfully reminded by my body of everything I am now that I wasn't just four months ago.

 

Today I am angry at you.

 

For forgetting our child so easily.

For the fact that I can't

 

For the fact that never again in my life will I have the chance to walk away from you in a clean break and put you completely behind me.

 

Because my faith in you allowed you back into my life, when I shouldn't have.

 

Because my desire to believe in you led me to buy into your false futures with a home and children of our own.

 

Because I trusted even after your reaction to the pregnancy that it was just knee jerk.

 

Because I allowed you to go unprotected because of that belief.

 

If I had never believed the garbage you were feeding me (again) I never would have let that happen, I never would have become pregnant, I never would have felt we had finally made it past the humps, I never would have really let you in.

 

I wouldn't be a survivor of pregnancy loss right now.

I wouldn't have this daily confirmation of everything I thought we were.

My heart would not be bleeding over lies and deceptions and deflections.

 

It would have been no different than it ever was before.

 

I'm sure you think it's worth it right now.

 

You have no girlfriend and baby that you never wanted saddling you and holding you back.

 

I wish I could say the same

 

But I live with and I'm reminded of my regrets everyday.

newenglandkid Established Member

newenglandkid

Posted
Posted

Dear J

 

Listen I really want to talk to you, I want to hear why you felt that we needed to break up. Saying that the small fights just built up as an excuse just doesn't seem to make sense. Especially since you kept saying "idk" after each message, and saying you still care about me but not in love with me. What happened? I'm afraid your just scared of the next phase in life, were not in college anymore babe.

 

I wish you would call me, text me, anything.

JahnJahn Established Member

JahnJahn

Posted
Posted

We just broke up and you haven't come home. I have speculated on what you may be doing, who you are with etc and these thoughts hurt me a lot. I realised it was non of my business anymore, Im still thinking about where you are but I feel like Ive calmed down a little.

 

I hope you are okay, I know Im not. I have to say, I do feel stupid because I thought we would talk today. I wanted to go NC but you made me give in, the hope you gave me is crushing. I know all the things to do to move on, I just cant take my own advice. Im still waiting for you to come back home :(

 

Anyway, I hope you are okay.

JahnJahn Established Member

JahnJahn

Posted
Posted (edited)

You are still not home. I told myself its non of my business but why can't I stop thinking why you are not home?

 

This is torture. I wish you would come home.

 

Edit: Its late and you're still not home. I wish you were home, for some twisted reason that would have made me sleep better. All these speculations are starting to take a lot of my thoughts... Im gonna try and get some sleep. I hope you are okay wherever you are x.

Edited by JahnJahn
Always Pondering Established Member

Always Pondering

Posted
Posted

Dear S,

 

I don't know why I'm thinking about this way late but I wish you left your little black book behind you when we met. It's really stupid that you never resolved things with one of your exes before you decided to enter a relationship with me. It's also stupid that you thought sending him half-naked pictures was "just friendly and no big deal". I wish you sorted out all your crap before-hand. You left me in a state of ruin for such a long time until just recently and you probably don't even give an ounce of care in the world. You ignored me, you left me, and you ONLY contacted me when you felt down after your rebound ended and right before you entered the relationship you're in now. You're not my friend.

 

I wish you contacted me just so I could ignore it. I wish you did. I know it's not going to happen because of many reasons, but I wish you did. It may sound selfish but I'd feel great.

 

I poured so much of my heart into the relationship and you end up dismissing it like one of your others.

 

I hate feeling angry like this, it makes me feel disgusting. The last time I felt this angry was back in January and I know it'll pass by morning but I hate it.

 

Ugh.

  • Like 1
newenglandkid Established Member

newenglandkid

Posted
Posted

Dear J

 

Good morning babe, I hope you had fun last night. I think you had a softball game and then went out drinking with your friends. I went out last night too but it was miserable without you. I wish we could talk, even though it's only been 4 days since we last talked, I miss you so much. I wish I could text you and tell you how much i want to be with you, but I also know you wanted space and I'm trying REALLY REALLY hard to give you as much space as you can. I hope that sooner rather than later you send me a text wanting to talk this out and fix whatever is bothering you.

 

I love you have a good day at work.

lime87 Member

lime87

Posted
Posted

(before I go off on one I should say that this thread and forum are helping me immensely)

 

You finally replied to the email I sent you about the lease. Seriously you want to come over to pick up nail scissors? Just buy a new pair, jeez. I won't be around when you come over. It's too painful and you need to not have me i your life.

 

I saw some mutual friends last night and their new one week old baby boy. I held him for about an hour and it was lovely. He's beautiful. They think you're losing it, by the way, and trying to relive your youth. Living in your mother's attic in your thirties with no direction in life, a job that pays pitifully and a pipe dream to become a stand up is lame. Their words, not mine. They think I'll be much better off without you, although I can't quite see it. They want to still be friends with me despite them only knowing me through you. I was really happy because they are really good people. And you know it yourself - you will end up alone and unhappy.

 

But I know this as well, deep down. I make a good wage, have amazing friends and a life I've worked for and my career path will work out for me. You're missing out. But I still love you. Our relationship used to be strong and I hope you're not too stubborn to realise. I'm still playing with the idea that we can work it out. Not for a while though. I'm fine being alone. I'm fine not being in a relationship. I'm not sure if I'm fine without you. I might give you one last chance. I don't know. I love you, there's the problem.

  • Like 1
mangetout Established Member

mangetout

Posted
Posted

Every time I think nice thoughts of you...everytime I have the urge to text you, I remember your last text to me..that you are "happy and relaxed" to be single.

 

 

Do you know how much that makes me want to vomit???

 

 

Wish granted. I will never get in contact with you. Even when you start missing me.

Mondmellonw Established Member

Mondmellonw

Posted
Posted

It is strange how things turned out to be.

  • Like 1
AnyaNova Established Member

AnyaNova

Posted
Posted

I did my best with my health and I failed. I couldn't save my academic career. I figured out the hints I needed to do to have a chance at making it work far too late.

 

It is over.

 

And I wish. God I've said it so many times and you just don't seem to care so what's the point. You don't want to hear from me and you've made that clear by continuing to ignore me every time I reached out.

 

I will still get into a program somewhere. I will start again after a year with the treatment and my health assured and online.

 

I feel like I failed. Even though I tried my hardest and put my body and mind through hell way too many times to get stuff in and done. I feel like I failed myself. You. My family. My parents.

 

Maybe you just think I'm a bullet dodged.

 

I tried so damn hard.

 

And even know my skin is so dehydrated and dry (it will go back to normal once the nutrition balances again, it goes in and out a lot).

 

I miss you. I wish you could or would come comfort me right now. Be with me.

 

I know that given the intense effort and the product I was able to put out many times even when crashing, that I shouldn't feel pathetic.

 

But I do.

 

I feel pathetic, Tim.

 

And you don care, do you?

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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