Jump to content

Post here instead of contacting your ex!

polywog

By polywog
in Coping

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

AnyaNova Established Member

AnyaNova

Posted
Posted
changed my mind...was gonna criticise but thought better of it. Have a nice day Anya.

 

Criticize what?

 

Coming to the realization that perhaps focusing on something that my brain read as maybe having a tiny, tiny slight chance of being undone might make a really good vacation from having to focus on the death of my friend which can never be undone?

 

From switching my focus to the loss that wasn't that big a deal on the grand scale of things to the one that deserves the attention because it truly was?

 

Whatever, dude.

Omei Established Member

Omei

Posted
Posted

I had a dream you got stuck at my house and I was very mean and abusive towards you in my pain.

 

It was strangly satisfying.

STM206 Established Member

STM206

Posted
Posted (edited)

A few days until my birthday. I wonder, will I even hear from you or will you continue to disregard me and put me into a category of non existence?

 

Your birthday is only 4 days after mine (I wish I didn't remember but I do.) I know that I'll be struggling to keep my fingers at bay from sending you a text. I want to, but I know I shouldn't... Especially if I don't hear from you.

Edited by STM206
  • Like 2
L1ght Established Member

L1ght

Posted
Posted

Well well well. You contacted me....who would have ever thought it? Certainly not me because you have done a very good impression of an ice queen unmoved by any and all my attempts to win your heart back for the past couple of years.

Good for you that managed to find the strength to put a few things right with me that you have been too cowardly to address for so long.

You're still lying though....I havn't called you out on it but I know you still aren't telling me the whole story. I know you, I know so much about you and I have pretty much put so many pieces of the puzzle together in my mind based on your life and the issues you have been dealing with for so long but there is just that little something you aint telling me yet(I have a few ideas....I'm pretty sure I'm on the right track). You are deflecting, trying to force my thought patterns in a different direction and for now I'm playing along.

I feel differently about you now. I feel sorry for you and your inability to overcome the same issues you were dealing with before I ever met you.....one things for sure is that you havn't been doing too well yourself since we broke up and your high and mighty attitude towards me when I was trying to fix things was just a façade. I have grown very strong in the past 6 months while you are very weak. We are back to where we started when we first met....funny that.

I love you....doesn't mean I want you back but damn do you have a place in my heart woman. I'm here for you and I will be a rock if you need it. We are communicating now, taking it slow. You are so scared of telling me the truth and any time I poke at it you get super defensive. I will find it out, I have you figured out, I have you where I want you. I'm judging you and I'm waiting to see if you will be the woman I always wanted you to be. Don't let yourself down cos the jury is out.

Lots of love.

Me

x

  • Like 2
Always Pondering Established Member

Always Pondering

Posted
Posted
A few days until my birthday. I wonder, will I even hear from you or will you continue to disregard me and put me into a category of non existence?

 

Your birthday is only 4 days after mine (I wish I didn't remember but I do.) I know that I'll be struggling to keep my fingers at bay from sending you a text. I want to, but I know I shouldn't... Especially if I don't hear from you.

 

Do your best at keeping your fingers at bay! All of us here know that doing so would hurt you so just remind yourself of that if you do get tempted when the day comes!

 

If you haven't already, try not expecting anything during your birthday :p. I have to admit that I expected a birthday wish on mine and got absolutely nothing. It hurt quite a lot since I had expectations, trust me it's not fun.

  • Like 2
Hello201 Member

Hello201

Posted
Posted

Good morning my darling love you miss you two weeks tomorrow since we last saw each other , I cried a lot yesterday

Woke up at 5 still in bed , I with ******* & ******* never met him before you'd like him , he said you are confused you think i will out like the ones before and yes I was wrong for getting upset when you went out with ***** and left me with everybody else , but you should never have put me in that situration , of course I was going to say go

But hey , you said to never loved me remember , so all the other stuff doesn't matter really does it , I love you did from the first time we kissed and you ran away haha , the first day , the first time we made love , the last date , the last kiss , the last time we made love I will have these forever but i think I have to start moving away from you

I'm crying again cos I know what we lost , every single person I spoken to except one doesn't understand thinks you are wrong and are upset for us , I told them the ttruth

I hope when you tell people you tell the truth also

Tell them what you told me

I thought I loved you I was wrong I wasn't ready it took me me three months to get courage to tell you ,

You know what I still don't beleive it but I accept it if you come back please don't think its friends I was more than that

I lost everything when I lost you , but I still love you xxx

Smilecharmer Established Member

Smilecharmer

Posted
Posted
Dear you,

 

I think I know finally what is wearing your mask in my head.

 

So any time that I nutritionally crash and begin to think I am getting morose about you, losing you, the friendship blah blah blah.

 

I'm going to turn it to what I think is the real subject. I think maybe somewhere in that unconscious where the little kid lives in Jungian archetypal fields or whatever :p, there is the conception that somehow if I can restore our friendship it will somehow make my friend's death not real somehow. Or somehow it will be like getting her friendship back, or somehow, winning what was lost.

 

So I'm going to make myself think about her and grieve the loss of her friendship. All in all, she was a much truer friend to me than you ever were. You faded long ago, so I hope maybe this makes you fade out of my head.

 

Because one thing I know, is that you're not coming back.

 

 

Aww, hugs to you Anya. I'm so sorry you are sad. You will find peace one day.

lamis Established Member

lamis

Posted
Posted

I'm about to go to a conference that I'm really anxious about.

Times like this are the only times I still really miss you. You used to be such a calming presence for me, you knew just what to say to reel me back in. But I really need to learn to deal with my anxiety on my own, especially since you leaving me exacerbated it so much for me.

 

It makes me feel pretty crappy to realize how much I still need you at times like these. Hopefully I'll get passed it soon. I just got too used to you being there for me, basically.

  • Like 1
DannyCA Established Member

DannyCA

Posted
Posted

You just had to contact me the day before my birthday. More games even though it's been more than a year since we broke up. And even though I didn't read the short story sized text you sent me, I did see "lets be friends".

 

Sorry I don't see that happening anytime soon if ever. Life has been getting easier even if you have set me back a little since that text.

 

Look I can see that we both contributed to the end of the relationship now. It's not completely your fault like I had been making it seem in my head for the longest time.

 

The bond we created even though we were 1,000 miles apart for the majority of our relationship was one of the best things I have ever experienced. And yes you have been on my mind everyday for the past two years since we first met. No one has made me feel the way you did, so maybe I should stop comparing new women to you.

 

But that's not enough. We both have to change for the better and experience what life has to offer before either of us can commit to each other.

 

You aren't just some girl I want to date for awhile and be done with and I know I'm not just some guy you want to date and be done with. We were looking towards the future and it would have been a damn good future with you.

 

With that being said, yes I miss you, but we aren't even capable of being even just friends until we both mature as people.

 

And by that time, we might not even see a need to be friends or reconcile

STM206 Established Member

STM206

Posted
Posted
Do your best at keeping your fingers at bay! All of us here know that doing so would hurt you so just remind yourself of that if you do get tempted when the day comes!

 

If you haven't already, try not expecting anything during your birthday :p. I have to admit that I expected a birthday wish on mine and got absolutely nothing. It hurt quite a lot since I had expectations, trust me it's not fun.

 

Thankfully I'm working a 12 hour shift on my birthday as well as his so perhaps that'll give me a little distraction. I'm almost tempted to just leave my phone home that day ha!

 

I half expect it but also almost don't expect anything. It's a weird place to be... Must be that damn heart vs brain scenario again.

  • Like 1
stillfiguringitallou Established Member

stillfiguringitallou

Posted
Posted

Today I am angry with you again.

 

Going over our conversation from Friday - I see what you did there - the "I'm sorry I hurt you ... but...s.

 

Why is it so impossible for you to apologize without justifying your actions? I mean - seriously - you were chastising me for the EXACT same thing - thinking I knew enough about a decisions - to KNOW the what and whys and blow you out of the water with anger.

 

How Dare I write the things I write - in the same conversations where you are still accusing me of hacking into anyones anything - the same conversation where you are telling me I am not worth the same consideration and understanding that I gave to you following your demand that I have an abortion or you would leave me.

 

Do you remember the two times I actually WAS jealous in our relationship - Do you remember how you left your phone laying about all the time - and gave me full access to your computer... and I never hacked into anything of yours - what makes you think that would change now? Did you seriously think I would be that jealous of someone I know you view as a "good time throw away friend" because you've known people like her in our past.

 

 

How DARE you take your fear of her having told me - and your desire to get ahead of the fall out by blowing it up - cause you to treat me so disgustingly. To somehow act as though my pain from your wrong doing is my fault.

 

I hate that I love you so much.

 

I am trying to grow and mature - and obviously you are perfectly content to remain in your stunted maturity that lands us here everytime.

 

Which means regardless of how much I love you - the man you are - is not meant for the woman I am.

 

So I don't care if I am in here 5 times a day for the next month writing on this thread - aside from our child's pathology report - I have no intention of trying to talk to you again.

 

No matter how mad you get.

 

No matter how many times you accuse me of being conflict avoidant.

 

I can't keep doing this to myself. And everytime I let you draw me back in - I have no one to blame but myself.

ariesgirl-328 Member

ariesgirl-328

Posted
Posted

.....im just so confused. the last we talked was feb.26 when you called me 8-9 months.... since then you missed called me once, i msged you once and then said nevermind on april 6 so I wouldn't have to hear a response from you. And then 2 days ago, you just messaged me."Hi". WTF????? you dumped me....leave me alone, if I'm not messaging you anymore then why are you still messaging me when our separation and silence was what you wanted......I even know about the girl you're dating. If you're dating someone else, why're you contacting your ex's?? Leave me out of it! I want to forget you and move on completely! I think of you so much even though I don't want to but you just show up right when I'm about to forget you! JUST LEAVEEEEE!!!! I'm not an option for you anymore incase it doesn't work out with your gf! I deserve sooooo much better!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE.

  • Like 2
Silver Taurus Member

Silver Taurus

Posted
Posted

Dear -----

 

As soon as I forget you somehow you manage to remind me.

 

 

I am not your lover, not your baby

Not your friend, not your maybe.

 

 

You chose her over me and you're with her now...you had your chance with me. Regrets? I don't care.

 

 

I finally figured it out. Even a Tiffany box full of crap...is still just .... well...full of crap.

 

 

ST

  • Like 2
FredJones80 Established Member

FredJones80

Posted
Posted
.....im just so confused. the last we talked was feb.26 when you called me 8-9 months.... since then you missed called me once, i msged you once and then said nevermind on april 6 so I wouldn't have to hear a response from you. And then 2 days ago, you just messaged me."Hi". WTF????? you dumped me....leave me alone, if I'm not messaging you anymore then why are you still messaging me when our separation and silence was what you wanted......I even know about the girl you're dating. If you're dating someone else, why're you contacting your ex's?? Leave me out of it! I want to forget you and move on completely! I think of you so much even though I don't want to but you just show up right when I'm about to forget you! JUST LEAVEEEEE!!!! I'm not an option for you anymore incase it doesn't work out with your gf! I deserve sooooo much better!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE.

 

LOL, I liked this one :)

  • Like 1
STM206 Established Member

STM206

Posted
Posted

I'm kinda getting sick of you to be honest. :/

  • Like 1
Hello201 Member

Hello201

Posted
Posted

two weeks since i buried a member of my family, and the last time i saw you

 

13 days since you said you wanted a break

 

12 days since you told me we were ok and you love me and miss me and cant wait to see me

 

11 days since you said you wanted a break

 

7 days since you told me its over

 

you told me the reasons , i love you still

 

i know you , you meant all of them you called me something you called me a lot of the time

looks like a did a very good job at fixing you because i loved you

now you have a different path than we planned and so do i

 

i dont know if you will ever contact me again , i dont know if you are thinking " i need him i love hime i want him" i will never contact you thats the hard bit knowing you are in pain cos you hurt me even if you didnt love me which i refuse to beleive as no one is that good an actor i cant help you

i love you i miss you i need you and youre not there

AnyaNova Established Member

AnyaNova

Posted
Posted

Not to my ex.

 

Men can be such humorless jerks sometimes. Just saying.

MajorOak Member

MajorOak

Posted
Posted

I have come to accept the feeling of not knowing where I am going. And I have trained myself to love it. Because it is only when we are suspended in mid-air with no landing in sight, that we force our wings to unravel and alas begin our flight. And as we fly, we still may not know where we are going to. But the miracle is in the unfolding of the wings. You may not know where you're going, but you know that so long as you spread your wings, the winds will carry you.

  • Like 1
redbaron005 Established Member

redbaron005

Posted
Posted

I miss you.

STM206 Established Member

STM206

Posted
Posted

You post all over facebook about being so in love with this guy of yours and it's pathetic to see. Anyone can see that you're just infatuated, I honestly don't think you really know the true meaning of love or what it takes to love someone past the honeymoon phase. You're a prime example of what to watch out for. I wonder if this new guy thinks in the back of his head that you'll eventually pull the same **** on him as you did me, overlap him with someone new once things become "comfortable".

 

Good luck with everything, you need it.

  • Like 2
Petunia20 Established Member

Petunia20

Posted
Posted

I'm frustrated both sexually and emotionally. I feel like I'm gonna explode or that I need to. I feel like at any moment now I will reach out to you but my dignity won't let me. I'm afraid of knowing but I'm curious to find out. I want you maybe just one last time or maybe to see what I really feel. I want to see you to see if I'm just hanging on to a memory of what we had or if what I'm feeling is really love for you. If I see you and realize that it's just me hanging on to the memory of what we had and that I no longer feel anything for you it'll make me feel better. If I see you and those feelings are still there then I will try to live with the fact that I might never get over you. But I can't do this because you're with her and I have more dignity than to reach out to you. I miss you sexually tho...I haven't been with someone who...well yea. Ugh!!

stillfiguringitallou Established Member

stillfiguringitallou

Posted
Posted

I miss you.... so much

 

I don't miss us ... us was uncomfortable, painful, and insecurity ridden.

 

But I miss you...

 

my best friend ... so much.

Isthereanybodythere Member

Isthereanybodythere

Posted
Posted (edited)

L, how could you?

 

We were best friends and lovers for two long years, we helped each other through our problems, your depression and self harm addiction and my porn addiction.

 

We laughed every second of being together, had almost everything in common.

 

I gave you everything, my heart and my time. I worked my *** off every week to see you for those long awaited weekends.

 

Then you changed things about yourself and you got shady. You changed your phone password and hid it from me when you was messaging your "Friend".

 

I should have trusted my gut and confronted you earlier but a month down the line you break up with me and leave me for the guy you cheated on me with.

 

You've left me with your baggage. You sucked all my happiness out and took it for yourself.

 

You kept in touch with your other ex's but not me, you told me you never loved me anyway.

 

It couldn't have all been for nothing?

Edited by Isthereanybodythere
Needed more info.
Mondmellonw Established Member

Mondmellonw

Posted
Posted

This isn't about you anymore.

It's about me.

Me, still feeling low and numb after 6 months without you.

6 months without any of your crap.

I guess this "feeling" bad isn't about you anymore.

Is about me, putting with that much lies and crap just for "love".

Yours wasn't love, so I let go of you and forgive you, but please, NEVER contact me again to say that indeed I was the love of your life, that's bull****.

Peacock_Tail Member

Peacock_Tail

Posted
Posted

I never thought I would say this, but I feel free without you.

  • Like 1
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...